Nothing in state government is so sacred that you can’t link it to a drinking game.
At any rate – since the DFL has a legislative minority and an incredibly weak governor, their best shot at eking a victory out of this session is to convince The People that 2+2=”Blue”. And so the DFL has unleashed a wave of DFL propagandabots in the media, the alt-media, the press and in government itself, repeating the same series of lines, and lies, over and over and over – not so much repeating the Godwin-fodder “Big Lie” often enough as repeating a wide swathe of little lies – along the lines of “Tom Emmer tried to lower penalties for drunk drivers” – until the dim-witted and not-very-savvy (aka “The DFL’s swing voters”) start to think they’re true.
And we might as well have fun with ’em!
So it’s time to turn all the bile, the ire, the vitrol and the waterboarded context into…
The Chanting Points Drinking Game!
You need the following to play:
- Three or more people – the more, the merrier!
- One drinking glass for each contestant, suitable for the alcohol (beer glasses for beer, shot glasses for booze, wine glasses for whine). Alternate: empty jars will suffice.
- A Mark Dayton bobblehead doll.
- A TV or computer tuned to any political discussion – the session, TPT Almanac, “At Issue”, Esme Murphy’s show, whatever. If no suitable TV program is on, someone can read from MNPublius, Minnesota “Progressive” Project, mnpACT!, MN2020, Alliance For A Better Minnesota, Bluestem Prairie or any other combination of Twin Cities leftyblogs.
Here’s how you play:
1. Before viewing, give the bobblehead to a random particpant.
2. Turn on the TV.
3. Whenever anyone says any variation of the following, everyone take a hit from your glass…
- “We have a $6.2 Billion deficit!”
- “The only choices we have are tax hikes or layoffs!”‘
- “The GOP wants to force cities to raise property taxes!”
- “Minnesotans won’t stand for this departure from our government tradition”
- “The GOP needs to reach across the aisle” / “Mark Dayton has done an admirable job of reaching across the aisle”
- Any reference to Orville Freeman, Arne Carlson, or any former governnor named Anderson
- Any use of the term “tipping point”
- “Where is the GOP’s no-cuts plan?” (If accompanied by a knowing smirk, make that two hits)
- “Government spending is essential for a healthy economy!”
- “We inherited this from Tim Pawlenty” (Take an extra sip if the word “disastrous” is used)
- “If the GOP says they want jobs, then why are they laying off state workers?”
- “The [GOP/Tea Party/any opponent of the DFL]’s plan is ‘extreme’ and/or ‘wrong for Minnesota'”
4. After each drink line, the holder of the Dayton Bobblehead passes it to the next person in the circle.
5. If anyone says “The GOP plan will [throw Grandma into the street/freeze the children/etc]”, the holder of the Dayton Bobblehead must drain his/her glass immediately before passing it on to the next person.
Feel free to add “house rules” for other Chanting Points – mentions of “Wall Street”, “Koch Brothers”, variations on the term “Neocon” or “Mubarak”, or whatever works for you!
Your entire party will be passed out in puddles of vomit within the hour.
Just like the Senate DFL caucus on the last night of the session, come to think of it.