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March 30, 2005

Things I Hate But I'm Supposed To Like

I can sit and listen to fingernails scraping on chalkboards all day long. Presuming one can find a chalkboard anymore.

But there are other things where I'm not so lucky.

Here they are:

  1. The word "bloggy". I have an instinctive revulsion to this term. Not sure why. Especially "Bloggy Goodness". Puke. Again, no idea where it comes from, it's just there.
  2. American Idol. Once you get past the campy, sadistic, Schadenfreudy fun of watching some of the world's most inept singers getting shredded on camera, it's on to...what? Finding out who's going to be the next Celene Dion. Everyone's got badonkadonk pipes - and yet they all sound not only the same, but dull dull dull. Yick.
  3. Friends. I never saw it when it was on the air. I've seen it maybe twice since it kacked. Don't do nuthin fo me, man.
  4. KFAN. I like sports, and I like talk radio. But somehow when you put the two together, you get the worst of both worlds; the mindless self-absorption of athletes, the pointillistic obsession with trivia of the superfreak fan, combined with the basest, most idiotic facets of talk radio. In KFAN's defense, I've heard worse sports stations. File that under "Damning with faint praise".
  5. Kelly's Heroes: I love war movies. Can't stand Kelly's Heroes. Anachronism can be fun - but in this case, is not.
  6. P.J. Harvey
  7. Radiohead
  8. Pro Football. Yawn. Unless the Bears are in contention, it's just something that eats up air time between the World Series and Spring Training.
  9. Tapping the rim or inside of a spoon with the rim or tip of another spoon. This is to me what chalkboard fingernails are to everyone else; it can bring me to the edge of chundering.
  10. Martina McBride - she seems like Shania Twain without the rugged sense of iconoclastic integrity.
  11. Maroon Five.
  12. So very, very much of Randy Newman's work. I know - he's a genius, he's funny, bla bla bla. He bores me stiff, except when he's making me cringe (remember Cop Rock?)
  13. Sixties camp TV classics; The Brady Bunch, the Munsters, Gilligan's Island, and especially the Addams Family.
  14. Film remakes of same.
  15. Spongebob Squarepants. Hate it hate it hate it.
  16. For that matter, Scooby Doo - old, new, in-between or revival, it's all depressing.

Posted by Mitch at March 30, 2005 05:40 AM | TrackBack
Comments

"Bloggy Goodness" sounds like something that Buffy would have said. Watch out. Friends sucks. KFAN is like listening to your uncle during a close football game tell you what every player should have done the last play, often demanding someone be fired. I thought Spongebob was evil long before Dobson implied he was.

Speaking of damning with faint praise, Radiohead has some decent songs, but not a lot. They are the most overrated pile of plastic around.

Posted by: Jerry Leigh at March 30, 2005 08:12 AM

Sports talk radio is indicative of the triumph of mediocrity in our culture. Most sports talk hosts would never be able to make it in other forms of talk radio. It is really bad here in Pittsburgh. We have one all-sports station, an ESPN affiliate, that runs a local show early in the evening. Even when it was just an ordinary talk station, that slot was reserved for sports talk hosted by longtime local favorite Myron Cope, who has long since retired. Another station with lower wattage inexplicably started a sports talk show at the same time a few years ago, followed by the all-powerful KDKA, which made no sense either. When Clear Channel came to town and started a new all-talk station, they decided somehow that it was a good idea to air a sports show at the same time as every other station in town. What does it say about Pittsburgh that we must have sports talk on at least four different stations from 6-8 PM?

Michael Savage comes on the Clear Channel station right after the sports show. He's like a breath of fresh air, believe it or not. I would rather listen to Savage rant for three hours about people ruining the taste of fresh produce by sticking it in the refrigerator than five minutes of any sports talk show.

Posted by: Dave in Pgh. at March 30, 2005 08:17 AM

There's actually very little conventional sports talk on KFAN. Except for the abysmal morning show, really no trivia or athlete worship to be found. (Maybe you've been listening to their jr. station, the Score 690, which has nothing but conventional babble from nationally syndicated shows.)

There's more snarky athlete bashing and failed attempts at social relevance at KFAN than anything else. For the most part, their hosts don't have the intelligence or analytical ability for straight political or social commentary. And they just don't have the chops to go for the entertaining angle.

The exception is Dan Cole in mid-afternoons. He's one of the best hosts in this market, of any genre. He has Mischke level creativity and a superior comic sensibility and delivery. Laugh out loud moments nearly every show.


Posted by: Saint Paul at March 30, 2005 01:11 PM

I haven't heard Cole, at least not recently.

And to be honest, I'd probably occasionally listen to a sports station (occasionally) that was mostly scores and games.

Posted by: mitch at March 30, 2005 01:54 PM

And here I thought I was the only person on the planet who has NEVER seen a single episode of Friends. Hurray!

Posted by: Silver at March 30, 2005 01:58 PM

Don't like the Addams Family? You are dead to me. DEAD. ;)

Posted by: Emily at March 30, 2005 02:04 PM

Emily,

My relationship with these reruns is a complex thing, perhaps worthy of a post.

Posted by: mitch at March 30, 2005 04:08 PM

The problem with sports talk radio is that callers are even more ignorant than callers to political shows, while being even more convinced of their expertise.

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