{"id":9137,"date":"2010-03-09T06:00:53","date_gmt":"2010-03-09T11:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=9137"},"modified":"2010-03-08T22:13:31","modified_gmt":"2010-03-09T03:13:31","slug":"put-me-in-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=9137","title":{"rendered":"Put Me In Coach!"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com\/2010\/03\/08\/preston-on-politics-michael-moore-lobbies-for-west-wing-job\/?fbid=u6E-_hgG58K\">Michael Moore is pledging to whip Obama and Democrats in Congress into shape<\/a> \u2013 liberal shape \u2013 if he is named the next White House chief of staff. And Moore vows to sleep in the White House basement and work for $1 per year if the president hires him.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now, don&#8217;t get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, 7 days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day,&#8221; Moore writes in a letter posted on his <a href=\"http:\/\/www.michaelmoore.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Web site<\/a> that he said was sent to Obama. &#8220;Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me: &#8220;THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON&#8217;T LIKE WHAT I&#8217;M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Okay, put aside for a moment the unrestrained use of all-caps&#8230;and the call for a dictatorship&#8230;before Michael Moore orders congress to do 100 jumping jacks and 50 push ups, I&#8217;d like to see Michael Moore do&#8230;just one&#8230;of either.<\/p>\n<p>Just one.<\/p>\n<p>One floppy man-boobs jumping jack.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;With or without Michael Moore, Democrats are in for a rude awakening in November&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8230;but <em>with<\/em> Michael Moore they&#8217;d be in for a rude awakening when they find two years&#8217; worth of chicken wing bones and empty Snack Pack Pudding cups in the basement of the White House.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michael Moore is pledging to whip Obama and Democrats in Congress into shape \u2013 liberal shape \u2013 if he is named the next White House chief of staff. And Moore vows to sleep in the White House basement and work for $1 per year if the president hires him. &#8220;Now, don&#8217;t get too giddy with [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":228,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-president-obama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/228"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9137"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9137\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9149,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9137\/revisions\/9149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}