{"id":90079,"date":"2025-12-31T06:23:36","date_gmt":"2025-12-31T12:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=90079"},"modified":"2025-12-31T06:29:16","modified_gmt":"2025-12-31T12:29:16","slug":"campaign-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=90079","title":{"rendered":"Campaign 2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE: \u00a0The headquarters of the Democrat Farmer Labor Party, in Saint Paul. Chair Richard CARLBON is convening a meeting of key Democrat activists, including<\/a> Tim WALZ, Keith ELLISON, Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, Avery LIBRELLE, Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, And Evan Micah BRYAN. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

WALZ: \u00a0Damn. \u00a0This damn fraud damn scandal is damn causing a damn lot of damn trouble.\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0We’re not on camera, Tim.\u00a0<\/p>\n

WALZ: \u00a0Doh. \u00a0I’m a knucklehead. \u00a0This fraud scandal is causing a lot of trouble. \u00a0<\/p>\n

BIRKENSTOCK: \u00a0 So what do we do?<\/p>\n

CARROLL: \u00a0 Rebrand “finding fraud” as racist?<\/p>\n

BRYAN: \u00a0We\u00a0have\u00a0<\/em>been doing that. \u00a0It’s not working quite like it used to. \u00a0<\/p>\n

ELLISON: \u00a0We can tell the media who’s boss.\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARROLL: \u00a0 On it. \u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0No bad ideas, folks. \u00a0But I think I’ve got it. \u00a0<\/p>\n

(The room hushes<\/em>)<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0We run as the\u00a0anti-fraud party<\/em>!<\/p>\n

WALZ: \u00a0Damn yeah damn we damn tell people damn damn damn damn<\/p>\n

(BIRKENSTOCK\u00a0<\/em>rises, takes Walz’s hand, leads him from the room<\/i>)<\/p>\n

BRYAN: \u00a0You mean, go at all these allegations of seven years of fraud while we controlled the executive branch and most of the Legislature by saying we were\u00a0always\u00a0<\/em>the party that fought fraud.\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0Yep.\u00a0<\/p>\n

ELLISON: \u00a0But what about the Somalis?<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0Pfffft. \u00a0 We throw them under the bus. \u00a0<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0Isn’t that a little bit cynical?<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0It’s a lot cynical. \u00a0That’s what I do. \u00a0 We burn one group of immigrants, we bring in another group of migrants. \u00a0 Palestinians are hot right now. \u00a0<\/p>\n

(Nods and murmurs of assent around the room<\/em>)<\/p>\n

CARROLL: \u00a0Hm. \u00a0 Kind of Orwellian. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0Of course it is. \u00a0And it works. \u00a0It’s always worked before. \u00a0Minnesotans just aren’t that smart. \u00a0<\/p>\n

(Muted assent around the table<\/em>)<\/p>\n

BRYAN: \u00a0People\u00a0are\u00a0<\/em>pretty stupid. \u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLBOM: \u00a0That’s our unofficial motto. \u00a0OK. \u00a0Make it happen!<\/p>\n

and SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fiction. And yet still more true than journalism. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[471,483,320],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-90079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campaign-26","category-fraud","category-mndfl","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=90079"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90079\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":90084,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90079\/revisions\/90084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=90079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=90079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=90079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}