{"id":896,"date":"2007-06-05T12:00:07","date_gmt":"2007-06-05T18:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php\/index.php\/2007\/06\/06\/at-the-minnesota-monitor-editorial-meeting\/"},"modified":"2014-12-12T14:53:24","modified_gmt":"2014-12-12T20:53:24","slug":"at-the-minnesota-monitor-editorial-meeting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=896","title":{"rendered":"At the Minnesota Monitor Editorial Meeting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Eric Black goes to his first Minnesota Monitor<\/a> editorial meeting:<\/p>\n

[Scene:\u00a0 A cluttered garrett in Northeast Minneapolis.\u00a0 \u00a0A group gathers around a table; twentysomething hipsters drinking Red Bull, dishevelled thirtysomethings guzzling Caribou, and one nattily-dressed fiftysomething, Eric Black]<\/p>\n

EDITOR ROBIN MARTY:\u00a0 “OK, let’s, like, come to order.\u00a0 It’s my pleasure to like introduce Eric Black.”<\/p>\n

ALL (Bored): “Hey, Eric!”<\/p>\n

ERIC BLACK: [Standing, graciously] “Hello, and thank you.”<\/p>\n

MARTY: “Eric used to work at the Star\/Tribune…”<\/p>\n

11th AVENUE ANDY: “…before Michele Bachmann had you fired!\u00a0 Right?”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “…er…actually, I took a buyout, and I’m not sure that Congresswoman Bachmann…<\/p>\n

[several staffers break into loud hissing sounds]<\/p>\n

BLACK: “…had anything to do with anything at the…er…Strib”<\/p>\n

JOE BODELL: “HAH!\u00a0 I KNEW it!\u00a0 Bachmann is uninvolved in the day to day operations of the Strib!\u00a0 HEADLINE!”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “Er…she’s an elected official, not a publisher…”<\/p>\n

MARTY: “We can, like, come back to that in like a moment or two.\u00a0 What I’d like to do is get some of Eric’s ideas about some directions we can totally take, now that we are covering Minnesota, Colorado and like Iowa.\u00a0 Eric?\u00a0 What do you think?”<\/p>\n

JEFF FECKE: “Thanks, Robin.\u00a0 I was watching Governor Timmy at a press conference the other day, and he looked terrified…”<\/p>\n

MARTY: “Actually, Jeff, I was asking Eric”<\/p>\n

FECKE: “Doh!”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “Quite all right.\u00a0 I think one of the more interesting stories in the upcoming election is how changes in the demography of all three of these states, as well as\u00a0their surrounding areas,\u00a0are affecting the traditional alignments of these states.\u00a0 Minnesota, for example, has been trending “redder” as a result of the growth of the more-conservative suburbs…”<\/p>\n

[scattered hissing]<\/p>\n

ANDY: “Wingnuts!\u00a0 Wingnuts!\u00a0 Unclean!”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “…er, while in Colorado, it’s been sort of the opposite, as liberals from California move to…”<\/p>\n

FECKE:\u00a0 “THAT’s why Governor Timmy the Tool is terrified!\u00a0 Because Minnesota is turning redder!\u00a0 He’s a tool!\u00a0 Why does he hate womenandchildren?”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “…um…” [stares, nonplussed]<\/p>\n

FECKE: [Continuing, rising from seat] “And that’s why we need fair, balanced, unbiased journalists like us!\u00a0 He’s totally Pwn3d!…<\/p>\n

BLACK:\u00a0\u00a0“Er, Mr. Fecke?\u00a0 A\u00a0quick question.\u00a0 What exactly does “Pwn3d” mean?\u00a0 You write it all the time.\u00a0 What is <\/em>that?”<\/p>\n

FECKE: “It’s when a tooltackular hacktool gets himself into a state of Pwnd3tude”.<\/p>\n

BLACK: “Ah.\u00a0 So, Jeff, how exactly is <\/em>it that you stay detached enough to cover the news as a “journalist”?\u00a0 Just curious…”\u00a0<\/p>\n

FECKE:\u00a0 “Because to show the womenandchildren what a hacktackular tool Timmy the hacktackular terrified tool is, you have to subvert the dominant paradigm!”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “Er, right, but…”\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0FECKE: “Why does John Kline hate to admit he’s terrified of me?\u00a0 Why woin’t Michael Brodkorb admit he’s on the payroll of George Soros?”<\/p>\n

MARTY: “…er, Jeff?\u00a0 That’s us…”\u00a0<\/p>\n

FECKE: “Yeah, that’ll <\/em>work!\u00a0 Hah!\u00a0 Why do hacktackular Rethuglican tools hate the truth!\u00a0 Why does Michele Bachmann hate evangelitools!\u00a0 God is a woman!\u00a0 John Hinderaker eats pork – why does John Hackdertooler hate vegetables?\u00a0 Hackey Pwn hack!\u00a0 Tool tool toolity hackity tool!\u00a0 Pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn!\u00a0 Pwntackular hacktoolular pookity pookity!\u00a0 Plockity pawlenty pawtucket plocktoolkit pucktunkular plockpoofitty plookity plooo ploooo plooooooooooooooooooo…<\/p>\n

[drops to floor, convulsing, repeating gibberish, typing it into personal blog]<\/p>\n

MARTY: “Thanks, Eric.\u00a0 Next order of business…”<\/p>\n

BLACK: “Er, wait.\u00a0 The Minnesota Monitor approaches “journalism” from an entirely biased perspective, and is on the payroll of powerful left-wing partisan special interests.\u00a0 Your staff is composed entirely of people with years of highly biased, partisan writing behind them.\u00a0 And yet you walk into the Minnesota Monitor offices, put on your “journalist” hat, and you expect the reader to think you’re unbiased and report fairly?<\/p>\n

MARTY: “We have a pledge”.<\/p>\n

BLACK:\u00a0 “Ah.\u00a0 Never mind then”.<\/p>\n

MARTY: “Next order of business – why Republican bloggers getting money undercuts democracy…”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tune in for next week’s edition of “As the Soros Money Burns”.<\/p>\n

\u00a0UPDATE:\u00a0 Foot continues the thread<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eric Black goes to his first Minnesota Monitor editorial meeting: [Scene:\u00a0 A cluttered garrett in Northeast Minneapolis.\u00a0 \u00a0A group gathers around a table; twentysomething hipsters drinking Red Bull, dishevelled thirtysomethings guzzling Caribou, and one nattily-dressed fiftysomething, Eric Black] EDITOR ROBIN MARTY:\u00a0 “OK, let’s, like, come to order.\u00a0 It’s my pleasure to like introduce Eric Black.” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[326,31,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-big-alt-media","category-blogs","category-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=896"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49908,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896\/revisions\/49908"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}