(SCENE:\u00a0 Mitch BERG is at a kitchen store, recycling some Nespresso pods.\u00a0 Too late, he notices Avery Librelle.)<\/p>\n
LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Merg!<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Hey, Av…<\/p>\n
LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Shut up.\u00a0\u00a0 JD Vance’s real name is John David Bowman.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 It was the name he was born with.\u00a0 He changed his name to his maternal grandparents name, “Vance”, when he was married.\u00a0<\/p>\n
LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Don’t care.\u00a0 Republicans are so diligent about never using new identities, so you should make sure <\/em>you “deadname” him.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Go ahead. Give it a try.<\/p>\n (SENATOR VANCE walks past, looking for a wok<\/em>).\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Go for it.<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 (Mildly flustered<\/em>).\u00a0 Senator Bowman!<\/p>\n VANCE:\u00a0 (Looks at LIBRELLE.\u00a0 Then BERG.\u00a0 BERG shrugs, rolls eyes.\u00a0 VANCE nods, walks on<\/em>).<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Nobody cares what someone wants us to call them.\u00a0\u00a0 It’s being berated <\/em>about it out of nowhere.\u00a0 Want to name yourself “Fido”, knock yourself out.\u00a0 Just don’t yap at me for not assuming <\/em>you’re a dog, or threaten to destroy my career<\/em> for not affirming that you’re really a dog.\u00a0 Seem reasonable?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 No.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Because of course not.\u00a0 Hey (hands LIBRELLE the bag of used capsules<\/em>) don’t let these spill, OK?\u00a0 For the good of the environment?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: (reluctantly takes bag<\/em>) Uh….<\/p>\n But BERG is already gone…<\/em><\/p>\n And SCENE.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (SCENE:\u00a0 Mitch BERG is at a kitchen store, recycling some Nespresso pods.\u00a0 Too late, he notices Avery Librelle.) LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Merg! BERG:\u00a0 Hey, Av… LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Shut up.\u00a0\u00a0 JD Vance’s real name is John David Bowman.\u00a0 BERG:\u00a0 It was the name he was born with.\u00a0 He changed his name to his maternal grandparents name, “Vance”, when he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-87964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=87964"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87971,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87964\/revisions\/87971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=87964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=87964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=87964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}