{"id":8700,"date":"2010-02-18T07:22:04","date_gmt":"2010-02-18T12:22:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=8700"},"modified":"2010-02-17T07:22:37","modified_gmt":"2010-02-17T12:22:37","slug":"around-the-mob-garden-of-eden-218","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=8700","title":{"rendered":"Around The MOB: Garden of Eden"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the things that less-well-informed leftybloggers (see also: most leftybloggers, many of the most-quoted leftybloggers) like to chant is that “the MOB is a conservative group”.<\/p>\n

It’s untrue, of course. Some lean left; some don’t really get political.<\/p>\n

One of those is Garden of Eden<\/em><\/a> – which is currently on the MOBRoll as “I’m Free Now” (and needs an update…). Gabrielle Eden runs it, and has been writing pretty prolifically since 2007. Kudos!<\/p>\n

And the first thing that jumped to mind when I read GoE<\/em> was “Daily Affirmations” – but that sounds too stuffy. There’s stuff about religion, family, gardening (!), cats – all the usual non-political blog fodder. But it’s good stuff. I feel better reading it.<\/p>\n

As it happens, Ms. Eden didn’t write this piece<\/a> – but it cracked me up anyway. It’s a collection of church bulletin bloopers, and I’m sure it’s been around the Internet a dozen times, but it’s new to me, and it made me laugh. Don’t judge me.<\/p>\n

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p, li { white-space: pre-wrap; }<\/p>\n

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’<\/span><\/p>\n

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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.<\/span><\/p>\n

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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/span><\/p>\n

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.<\/span><\/p>\n

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice<\/span><\/p>\n

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<\/span><\/p>\n

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:<\/span><\/p>\n

“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

“Garden of Eden”. Read it when touring the MOB (via “I’m Free Now”).
\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the things that less-well-informed leftybloggers (see also: most leftybloggers, many of the most-quoted leftybloggers) like to chant is that “the MOB is a conservative group”. It’s untrue, of course. Some lean left; some don’t really get political. One of those is Garden of Eden – which is currently on the MOBRoll as “I’m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mob"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8700"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8700\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8703,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8700\/revisions\/8703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}