{"id":85604,"date":"2023-07-27T10:32:31","date_gmt":"2023-07-27T15:32:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=85604"},"modified":"2023-07-27T10:32:31","modified_gmt":"2023-07-27T15:32:31","slug":"one-day-in-the-theme-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=85604","title":{"rendered":"One Day In The Theme Park"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE: Mitch BERG is standing in line at a Mexican fast-food joint when Evan Micah BRYAN walks into the store. BRYAN is 23, a 2022 graduate of Macalester with a degree in Political Science, is the Senior Communications Director for the Senate DFL Caucus. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: MeRG. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Uh, hey…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: ZOMGConServaTiveZ aRe tEh HiCks aND ruBEz wHo aRe aFRAID of tEH ciTIes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: As a conservative who lives in the Midway, I refute you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: HeEre iS TeH PrOOf ZOMG!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Its a photomeme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: OuR pHiLoSOphY in tEh DFL CoMMUnICatION oFFiCe iS iF wE du iT inna MeMe, iT’s ReALi-T!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Which is why your entire communications strategery is to show DFL politicians in an endless stream of selfies, and lots of end-zone ball-spiking, with no substance whatsoever?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: No cOMMeNT. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Right. So – back to the costume. Let me guess – you are, as a DFL employee, a middle class white guy…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: tHAT’s hOw I iDenTiFY.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: …who lives in a neighborhood like Marcy-Holmes or Longfellow or Merriam Park<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: RiGHt. TEH cOOl pLaCes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: which is clogged with other young-ish single non-profit-industrial complex employees with plenty of money…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: sURe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: You take the Green Line to a concert once or twice a year…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: HoW ELsE woUld I fINd SaINT PaUl? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Sort of a “Fifteen Minute City”, where everything you do – your coffee shop, your grocery mart, your restaurants, your coffee shop, your bars, your restaurants, your transit stop, your coffee shop, your restaurants, your coffee shops, are all within a fifteen minute walk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: TeH wAY tEH wHOLe worLd sHouLD bE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Where all the workers take the bus or drive hoopties in from Richfield or New Hope or Vadnais Heights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: yEp…ER, wUt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Your “fifteen minute city” is actually an “Urban Life” theme park. But, sure, by all means, progsplain me about city life, junior. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRYAN: HeY, loOk! MaTt RoZnOwSki iS slAshinG yOuR TirEz ZOMG!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Of course he is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: Mitch BERG is standing in line at a Mexican fast-food joint when Evan Micah BRYAN walks into the store. BRYAN is 23, a 2022 graduate of Macalester with a degree in Political Science, is the Senior Communications Director for the Senate DFL Caucus. BRYAN: MeRG. BERG: Uh, hey… BRYAN: ZOMGConServaTiveZ aRe tEh HiCks aND […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,377],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-85604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war","category-the-second-civil-war","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85604","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85604"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85604\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85607,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85604\/revisions\/85607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}