{"id":81618,"date":"2022-04-25T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-25T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=81618"},"modified":"2022-04-29T08:48:23","modified_gmt":"2022-04-29T13:48:23","slug":"critical-marksmanship-theory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=81618","title":{"rendered":"Critical Marksmanship Theory"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE: The year is 2028. Mitch BERG has just been sworn in as governor of Minnesota, via a series of happenstances too bizarre to go into. He is speaking to a press conference. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: As the first phase of my plan, as promised, I’m directing the state Department of Education to begin mandatory instruction in grades K-12, and in state post-secondary schools, of “Critical Marksmanship Theory”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“CMT” teaches a few tenets that are vital for a child’s moral and social development:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. It teaches them the essentials of the Second Amendment – how it deters tyranny. <\/li>
  2. Children will learn, as part of that, that throughout American history, from the Revolution through the Civil Rights movement to the “Anti”-Fa War of 2026, those with firearms have been the ones able to defend their, and their neighbors’, freedom. <\/li>
  3. Kids will learn that, throughout our history, the right to keep and bear arms has been a bellwether for the state of liberty, and a key defining line between citizenship and subjection. <\/li>
  4. It teaches that societies that exalt and propagate marksmanship are superior, more free, more prosperous and more inclusive than those that don’t. <\/li>
  5. It teaches kids the essentials firearm safety, which should slash the number of accidental shootings of children. <\/li>
  6. Finallly, it teaches kids – all kids, from all backgrounds, races, creeds, genders – how to shoot, enabling them to participate in shooting sports, self-defense, and of course the main intent of the Second Amendment, deterring tyranny. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    This will begin in the second semester of this school year, which starts (checks watch) tomorrow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Questions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    MYLYSSA SILBERMAN (Reporter for National Public Radio\u2019s Saint Paul bureau, covering the \u201cFake News\u201d and \u201cDiversity\u201d beats<\/em>): Yes, Mr. Berg…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Governor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    SILBERMAN (Winces<\/em>): Right. Gove<\/em>rnor Berg. What if parents object to teaching kids how to shoot, and all this history about guns?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Teachers know better than parents. Next…you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    LEAKY THE BEAGLE (A dog, writing under a pseudonym for the (possibly fictional) progressive blog \u201cMinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com<\/em>\u201c.  <\/em>) Govenah Burrrgk – vot is ze sense of forcink…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Was ist den mit deine f\u00fcrchtbare Deutsche accent?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    LEAKY THE BEAGLE: Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: That’s what I thought. Security!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (Security guards push LEAKY THE BEAGLE to the ground, stomp him into incoherence, throw him out<\/em>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Next. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    CAT SCAT: (The designated \u201cfact checker\u201d at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog \u201c\u201dMinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com<\/em>\u201c, she is the office manager at a small phrenology practice. <\/em>) Why would you teach children…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Because parents in half of Metro households don’t actually teach their kids the reality of history – that unarmed people are basically meat on the hoof for dictators. We want our children to learn that history. Some people don’t. We have the power, so we don’t really care what they think. Yes, you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    MATT MCNEIL: (Rises,, face flushed, hands shaking. As a wet spot stains the front of his chinos, he<\/em> runs fron the building. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Huh. OK. You. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Betty Rae TORSTENGAARDSEN (A writer at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog \u201cMinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com<\/em>\u201c.  She was Lac Qui Parle County Dairy Princess in 1987, and voted \u201cmost likely to end up as a freelance political writer\u201d by her sorority at U of M Morris in 1992.): <\/em>Yes, Governor Berg. “Critical Marksmanship Theory” seems like a massive incursion into parental rights. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: You’ve seen the handout, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    TORSTENGAARDSEN: Er…no?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Then it’s not CRM. We’re just teaching kids to shoot, as far as you know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    TORSTENGAARDSEN: What about parents who object to their kids being indoctrinated in the Second Amendment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: So you’re saying there are parents who want <\/em>their kids to be ignorant of history, and ripe for the picking by criminals, tyrants and perverts?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    TORSTENGAARDSEN: I’m not sure…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG. They sound like terrible, negligent parents to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    TORSTENGAARDSEN: Uh…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: But again, we’re not teaching kids about guns right this minute<\/em>, as we stand here, so quit your whining. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (TORSTENGAARDSEN, SCAT and SILBERMAN confer, briefly<\/em>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    SILBERMAN: He’s right. He’s got us there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BERG: Good. Onward…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    SCENE: The year is 2028. Mitch BERG has just been sworn in as governor of Minnesota, via a series of happenstances too bizarre to go into. He is speaking to a press conference. BERG: As the first phase of my plan, as promised, I’m directing the state Department of Education to begin mandatory instruction in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,297,294,298],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war","category-favorites-culture","category-favorites-politics","category-favorites-rkba"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81618"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81618\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81853,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81618\/revisions\/81853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}