{"id":81363,"date":"2022-03-30T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-30T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=81363"},"modified":"2022-03-30T07:29:00","modified_gmt":"2022-03-30T12:29:00","slug":"foreign-relations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=81363","title":{"rendered":"Foreign Relations"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE: Mitch BERG is at a coffee shop. He orders an egg souffle – the last one in the fridge. As the CASHIER is giving him the egg souffle, Avery LIBRELLE steps, unbeknownst to BERG, up into line behind<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: Merg!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Oh, fuuuuuuor criying out loud, how ya been…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: President BIden is showing the value of having a season hand with decades of experience in foreign policy in control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Uh…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: (Ignoring BERG for the moment, speaking to the CASHIER<\/em>) I’ll have one of the cheese and onion egg souffles). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CASHIER: I’m sorry, ma’…er, si…er (Looks at BERG, terrified. BERG shrugs shoulders<\/em>) …uh, we are out. We just sold the last one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: (Looks at BERG<\/em>). So you got the last egg souffle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Yeah, sorry – they are apparently lo…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: I wanted an egg souffle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: I know, right? They’re keto, and they’re…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: We need to sort this out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: I mean, I’m sorry. I didn’t plan it this way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: We need to reach a negotiated settlement on this impasse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: I mean, I already have it. I paid for it, I’m about to eat it. What “negotiated settlement” did you have in mind?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: Someone needs to remove you from this coffee shop, and leave me the egg souffle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: I find your terms unacceptable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: Perhaps you need to just disappear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: You’ve followed a bag negotiating strategy with an even worse one, one that might be chargeable as assault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: It was just a harmless ad lib <\/em>from my internal monologue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Sort of like our putative President’s negotiating style. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: Hey. That was a Biden joke. And you should talk; your Saint Ronald did the same thing when he told the Soviets to tear down the wall. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: Calling for real estate improvements aren’t the same as asking someone to disappear the leader. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: What are we going to do about the souffle?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(BERG takes a big bite<\/em>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIBRELLE: Fascist!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERG: (Muffled, with souffle in his mouth<\/em>) Naturally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And SCENE.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: Mitch BERG is at a coffee shop. He orders an egg souffle – the last one in the fridge. As the CASHIER is giving him the egg souffle, Avery LIBRELLE steps, unbeknownst to BERG, up into line behind. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Oh, fuuuuuuor criying out loud, how ya been… LIBRELLE: President BIden is showing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[131,11],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-81363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-war-and-peace","category-world","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81363"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81363\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81364,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81363\/revisions\/81364"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}