{"id":77327,"date":"2021-03-29T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-29T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=77327"},"modified":"2021-03-29T09:28:04","modified_gmt":"2021-03-29T14:28:04","slug":"with-apologies-to-david-letterman-back-when-he-was-funny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=77327","title":{"rendered":"With Apologies To David Letterman (Back When He Was Funny)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Top Ten Things you Never, Ever Hear<\/em> in Real Life. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. “Hey, hand me that piano”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. “Gosh, the Star Tribune <\/em>does a great job of balanced coverage on divisive issues”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. “You know what I could use right now? A plate of “Scrod” from Embers”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. “The fact that the Vikings, T-Wolves, Wild and usually the Twins disappoint me terribly is a sign that my priorities in life are terribliy out of whack”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. “See how much clearer and more fluid writing is when you arbitrarily and mindlessly adhere to the ‘Oxford Comma?'”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. “The ‘zipper merge’ has made my life better”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. “I got a call back from Alice Hausman’s<\/a> office!”s<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. “That Mike McNeil on AM950 is appointment listening for me!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. “I always feel healthy and safe riding the Green Line after 6PM!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the #1 thing you never, ever hear in real life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Number 1: “Oh, good. Al Sharpton is in town<\/a>. Our racial divide and social crisis is going to get better”. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Top Ten Things you Never, Ever Hear in Real Life. 10. “Hey, hand me that piano”. 9. “Gosh, the Star Tribune does a great job of balanced coverage on divisive issues” 8. “You know what I could use right now? A plate of “Scrod” from Embers” 7. “The fact that the Vikings, T-Wolves, Wild […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[419,24,54,17,377],"tags":[431],"class_list":["post-77327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2020-riots","category-culture-war","category-ebony-and-ivory","category-minneapolis","category-the-second-civil-war","tag-chauvin-trial"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77327"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77334,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77327\/revisions\/77334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}