{"id":71675,"date":"2019-07-03T08:20:00","date_gmt":"2019-07-03T13:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=71675"},"modified":"2019-07-03T08:26:50","modified_gmt":"2019-07-03T13:26:50","slug":"71675","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=71675","title":{"rendered":"Orange You Disappointed You Didn’t Get An Invite?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE: A meeting of the “Protect” MInnesota governing board. The Reverend Nancy Nord Bence presides over a room with half a dozen middle-aged, white men and women with ELCA hair (short, unadorned gray for the ladies; close cropped gray hair and neatly-trimmed Progressive-standard beards for the males). <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: OK, I call this meeting of the governing board of Protect Minnesota to order. Miss Scat, would you please give the membership report? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAT SCAT: Unchanged from last meeting, at [NORD BENCE coughs over BIRKENSTOCK’s report<\/em>] members. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: OK, Mizz Stromberg, the treasurer’s report? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

GRETEL STROMBERG: We got another Bloomberg check. Why bother counting? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Applause ensues<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: Order! OK. New business? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

( Chauncey GUNDERSON, a 50-something man with raffish but neatly trimmed gray hair and a tightly trimmed gray beard – like every other man in the room over the age of 35 – and a representative from an ELCA church in Edina, raises his hand<\/em>:)<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: Mr. Gunderson?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GUNDERSON: Yes, Madame Executive Director. I’m wondering – there’s this impression I’ve heard people talk about saying that Protect Minnesota is a bunch of smug, entitled, white, suburban, upper middle class people who are out of touch with the reality of this issue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: ( Looks around room at the small group of smug, entitled, white, suburban, upper middle class people<\/em> ) Well, clearly it’s a scientific fact that that’s utterly absurd!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MARGE GUSTAFFSEN: But I’ve heard this, too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: While it is utterly absurd, I am willing to entertain ideas to address it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

AVERY LIBRELLE: I’ve got an idea. Let’s debunk the notion that Protect Minnesota is a bunch of smug, entitled, white, suburban, upper middle class people by holding a cocktail party at a swanky club!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: I like it! Social media director BIrkenstock?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MOONBEAM BIRKENSTOCK: Already on it. I set up the event and put out the invites on Facebook! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: Oooh! Let’s see!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BIRKENSTOCK: Here. Let me show you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

NORD BENCE: I like<\/em> it! OK – next order of business…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

NOTE: The scene above is probably mostly fictional. Except for the ad. And the event. And the cocktail. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: A meeting of the “Protect” MInnesota governing board. The Reverend Nancy Nord Bence presides over a room with half a dozen middle-aged, white men and women with ELCA hair (short, unadorned gray for the ladies; close cropped gray hair and neatly-trimmed Progressive-standard beards for the males). NORD BENCE: OK, I call this meeting of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[236,359],"class_list":["post-71675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-victim-disarmament","tag-dramatization","tag-rev-nancy-nord-bence"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=71675"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":71683,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71675\/revisions\/71683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=71675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=71675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=71675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}