To:\u00a0 Twenty-Something Pantload<\/p>\n
From: Mitch Berg – Bike Sympathizer<\/p>\n
Re:\u00a0 Next Time, You Get An Elbow In The Choppers<\/p>\n
You know who you are.\u00a0 You’re a twentysomething hYpStR.\u00a0 You ride one of those trendy retro three-speed bikes with the cargo racks, in which you’d stuffed your backpack, some books, and (I have no doubt) your IPhone.<\/p>\n
You were riding up Wabasha last night.<\/p>\n
Now, I’m sympathetic; I usually ride up Wabasha at the end of the day, when I’m biking home.\u00a0 It’s that existential near-death experience that kicks off my ride home by making me appreciate life so much more.<\/p>\n
But there’s a difference, here.\u00a0 I ride on the street<\/em>.<\/p>\n I first saw you as I was walking up the sidewalk to the bus stop, as the cold was settling in.\u00a0 I heard a voice behind me, curtly demanding “excuse me”.\u00a0 I turned around; you were whisking past someone walking on the sidewalk behind me. You sailed past me, crowding me toward the wall just a little bit.\u00a0 You pedalled up the sidewalk, brushing a lady who was carrying a baby, as you tried to thread the needle between people getting on the 3 bus.\u00a0 You seemed – by your speed, as well as your “arrogant enough to have been a Loring Cafe waiter during their heyday” – to think it was our job to get out of your <\/em>way.<\/p>\n Just saying; next time you try that, make sure Dadders is still paying your dental insurance.<\/p>\n That is all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" To:\u00a0 Twenty-Something Pantload From: Mitch Berg – Bike Sympathizer Re:\u00a0 Next Time, You Get An Elbow In The Choppers You know who you are.\u00a0 You’re a twentysomething hYpStR.\u00a0 You ride one of those trendy retro three-speed bikes with the cargo racks, in which you’d stuffed your backpack, some books, and (I have no doubt) your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[75,44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biking","category-stupid"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7081"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7081\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7129,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7081\/revisions\/7129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}