{"id":6939,"date":"2009-12-05T19:10:04","date_gmt":"2009-12-06T00:10:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=6939"},"modified":"2009-12-06T09:33:21","modified_gmt":"2009-12-06T14:33:21","slug":"purple-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=6939","title":{"rendered":"Purple Jesus"},"content":{"rendered":"

Evidently Adrian Peterson fears Brad Childress more than the Edina Police Department having been clocked on his way to practice at 109 MPH in his Purple<\/strong> BMW 7-Series [Ugh!-JR] on the Crosstown Highway 62.<\/p>\n

Minnesota Vikings All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson<\/a> \u2013 or “Purple Jesus” as he’s known to Vikings fans<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

[sound of record scratching fading to tires screeching]<\/p>\n

“Purple Jesus”\u00a0 ?<\/p>\n

\u2013 is one of the fastest men in the NFL. Turns out, he’s also one of the fastest men on a certain suburban Minnesota freeway, where police clocked him and his (model unknown) BMW<\/a> going 109 mph in a 55 mph zone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ve watched or listened to most of every Vikings game this season and haven’t once…not once<\/em>…heard the moniker “Purple Jesus” let alone heard it applied to Adrian Peterson.<\/p>\n

Have you?<\/p>\n

Riddle me this:<\/p>\n

What Would Jesus <\/em>Do if he was late to practice?<\/p>\n

Would he even need<\/em> to practice?<\/p>\n

Would Jesus <\/em>be a first-round draft choice?<\/p>\n

Would he have to wear a helmet<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Would he drive a BMW?<\/p>\n

All crucial questions for our time, indeed.<\/p>\n

In any case, sounds like our “Purple Jesus” will need to get a ride from Steve Hutchinson from now on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Evidently Adrian Peterson fears Brad Childress more than the Edina Police Department having been clocked on his way to practice at 109 MPH in his Purple BMW 7-Series [Ugh!-JR] on the Crosstown Highway 62. Minnesota Vikings All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson \u2013 or “Purple Jesus” as he’s known to Vikings fans [sound of record scratching […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":228,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,77],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-the-rare-sports-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/228"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6939"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6939\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6954,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6939\/revisions\/6954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}