SCENE:\u00a0 In the command bunker at the Democrat National Committee headquarters in Washington DC, December 12, 2017.<\/p>\n
DNC Command Bunker staffers Joshua Micah COHEN-YATZKIS, Rachel ROSARIO-WYKOFF and Tad BULLWER-FLYTTON are gathered around a table festooned with computer monitors and touch-screen readers.\u00a0 \u00a0All brows are furrowed; the smell of desperation is palpably visible.<\/p>\n
COHEN-YATZKIS:\u00a0 This is bad.<\/p>\n
ROSARIO-HELMING:\u00a0 Very very bad.<\/p>\n
BULLWER-FLYTTON:\u00a0 \u00a0As a gender-queer womyn of colyr, I am going to be most affected.<\/p>\n
COHEN-YATZKIS: .\u00a0 Er… (but he shuts up when ROSARIO-HELMING shoots him a warning glance<\/em>).<\/p>\n ROSARIO-HELMING:\u00a0 What\u00a0are\u00a0<\/em>we going to do?<\/p>\n BULLWER-FLYTTON:\u00a0 \u00a0I don’t know, but we’ve got to come up with something.<\/p>\n COHEN-YATZKIS: .\u00a0 Tom will know what to do.<\/p>\n ROSARIO-HELMING:\u00a0 I anyone does, Tom will.<\/p>\n BULLWER-FLYTTON:\u00a0 \u00a0We sure have to hope so.\u00a0 As a wise Latina, I think that’s the right approach.\u00a0 (COHEN-YATZKIS looks at ROSARIO-HELMING, who shrugs<\/em>).<\/p>\n (In the background a door iopens,.\u00a0 Tom PEREZ, chairman of the DNC, enters the room, accompanied by MyLissa SILBERMAN, from National Public Radio’s Saint Paul bureau, on special assignment to write a profile on why Tom PEREZ is so wonderful<\/em>).<\/p>\n ROSARIO-HELMING:\u00a0 Good morning, Mr. PEREZ.<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 \u00a0What the f_____ f___’s good about this m____r_____ng morhing?\u00a0 (PEREZ throws a paper coffee cup across the room, spilling coffee on an intern<\/em>).<\/p>\n SILBERMAN (sotto voce into the microphone in her top of the line Bang and Olufson digital broadcast recorder<\/em>) “Perez runs a lively office”)<\/p>\n ROSARIO-HELMING: Sorry, sir.<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 Goddess m____rf__k___ alive, this may be the worst c______k___ possible news we could have gotten.<\/p>\n BULLWER-FLYTTON:\u00a0 \u00a0Yes sir.\u00a0 (COHEN-YATZKIS and ROSARIO-HELMING meekly look at monitors and try to look occupied<\/em>).<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 Christ on a m______u____g crutch, I”m not sure how the _u__ we’re going to __ck___ going to recover from this s___ sandwich we’ve _____n_ dealt ourselves.\u00a0 F___ me to tears.<\/p>\n SILBERMAN: Pardon me, your excellency, but are you talking about Jones’ victory over Roy Moore in Alabama last night?<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 F__ to the f___ yes, I m____________ am.<\/p>\n SILBERMAN:\u00a0 But the Democrat, peace be upon him, won.\u00a0 The GOP majority in the Senate is cut by a seat.\u00a0 Trump was dealt a setback.<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 \u00a0F___ m_____f_____g c__________ Trump up the a__ with Debby Wasserman-Shultz’s d___.\u00a0 Moore f____ losing this c_________ election boned us up the m__________ c_________ d___ l____g G__l-S___t banging p_____le.<\/p>\n SILBERMAN:\u00a0 How?<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 \u00a0Because with that l__p-d_____ c________ Roy m__________ Moore out of the m___________ way, we’ve got no f____ f______ f_______ f_____ Republicans to bang Republicans over their m_________ heads with.<\/p>\n SILBERMAN:\u00a0 (Nods, her mood suddenly darkening in comprehension<\/em>).<\/p>\n COHEN-YATZKIS: . We could always just make some crap up about another Republican.<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 \u00a0That’s right, genius.\u00a0 Of m________ course we’ll f______ have to make some s___ up about some other t______ c________ w________ Republican.\u00a0\u00a0Get on it!<\/em><\/p>\n ROSARIO-HELMING, BULLWER-FLYTTON and COHEN-YATZKIS snap back to work<\/em>.\u00a0 .<\/p>\n PEREZ:\u00a0 Jesus H m________ Christ.\u00a0 What a cliuster____.<\/p>\n SILBERMAN (sotto voce into her microphone<\/em>):\u00a0 \u00a0Perez is excited by the opportunities yesterday’s election offers…<\/p>\n And SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SCENE:\u00a0 In the command bunker at the Democrat National Committee headquarters in Washington DC, December 12, 2017. DNC Command Bunker staffers Joshua Micah COHEN-YATZKIS, Rachel ROSARIO-WYKOFF and Tad BULLWER-FLYTTON are gathered around a table festooned with computer monitors and touch-screen readers.\u00a0 \u00a0All brows are furrowed; the smell of desperation is palpably visible. COHEN-YATZKIS:\u00a0 This is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,255],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-65411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-democrats","category-the-racket"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=65411"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65411\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":65412,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65411\/revisions\/65412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=65411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=65411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=65411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}