{"id":6354,"date":"2009-11-16T08:38:08","date_gmt":"2009-11-16T13:38:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=6354"},"modified":"2009-11-16T11:05:55","modified_gmt":"2009-11-16T16:05:55","slug":"looking-ahead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=6354","title":{"rendered":"Looking Ahead"},"content":{"rendered":"

SCENE:\u00a0 One day in 2010.\u00a0 President Obama speaking to a crowd at the Ground Zero memorial at Hiroshima<\/a>:<\/p>\n

(OBAMA steps to the podium<\/em>)<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Uh, welcome, ladies and gentleman.\u00a0 Before I get started, I’d like to give a quick shout-out to my good friend and world-wide hero Al Gore for the efforts he’s making to, uh, save the world.\u00a0 He’s sparing no effort to convince people, including some of the efforts that, uh, your people, uh, Emperor Akihito, perfected during your father’s time. (Akihito shifts nervously on his feet<\/em>).\u00a0 I think the world owes him more than just the Nobel Peace Prize.\u00a0 I’d suggest perhaps they make him pope.\u00a0 (Robert Gibbs starts clapping; stops after a few awkward seconds<\/em>).\u00a0 He’s also reaching across the aisle to call, uh, Sarah Palin “gung ho<\/a>“. Anyway. Just a big shout out.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Crowd claps nervously<\/em>.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: OK.\u00a0 Now, Hiroshima.\u00a0 I’d like to start by thanking my lord and liege, Emperor Akihito, for inviting me here.\u00a0<\/p>\n

OBAMA turns, bows deeply.\u00a0 Stays bowed long enough to tie shoes with tongue.<\/em><\/p>\n

AKIHITO Nods. <\/em><\/p>\n

OBAMA (remains bowed<\/em>)<\/p>\n

AKIHITO. (clears throat<\/em>)<\/p>\n

OBAMA (remains bowed<\/em>)<\/p>\n

AKIHITO: Er, mister president?\u00a0 Carry on.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Thank you, sir.\u00a0 At any rate, I’d like to express my offical sorrow and apology for the mistakes on the part of my predecessors that led to the inhuman attack on this city, and for the deaths of all the women and chidren who were\u00a0 for the deaths of all the women and chidren who werefor the deaths of all the women and chidren who werefor the deaths of all the women and chidren who werefor the deaths of all the women and chidren who werefor the deaths of all the women and chidren who were…<\/p>\n

TECHNICIAN: (kicks teleprompter<\/em>)<\/p>\n

OBAMA: …hope and change.\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n

(Japanese string band plays “Hail To The Chief”<\/em>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE:\u00a0 One day in 2010.\u00a0 President Obama speaking to a crowd at the Ground Zero memorial at Hiroshima: (OBAMA steps to the podium) OBAMA: Uh, welcome, ladies and gentleman.\u00a0 Before I get started, I’d like to give a quick shout-out to my good friend and world-wide hero Al Gore for the efforts he’s making to, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-president-obama","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6354"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6354\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6360,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6354\/revisions\/6360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}