{"id":60646,"date":"2016-10-20T07:19:46","date_gmt":"2016-10-20T12:19:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=60646"},"modified":"2017-03-03T13:20:58","modified_gmt":"2017-03-03T19:20:58","slug":"k-liff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=60646","title":{"rendered":"K. Liff"},"content":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0A freeway overpass <\/em>relatively close to\u00a0the Ohio\/Pennsylvania border.<\/em><\/p>\n

A man – Kevin LIFF – clad in a clearly home-made general’s field-dress uniform, stands on the roof of a humvee, overlooking an immense battlefield, dotted with smoking wrecks and and ragged groups of corpses. \u00a0Whiffs of smoke scud across the landscape, and the faint cries of the wounded are drowned out by the sound of a column of Ford F150s, loaded to the gills with gun-toting militiamen, driving eastward.<\/em><\/p>\n

Colonel Terrence RIST walks up to the humvee, trailed by radio operator with a backpack radio set.<\/em><\/p>\n

RIST: \u00a0Reverend Field Marshal?<\/p>\n

LIFF: \u00a0Yes, brother Colonel?<\/p>\n

RIST: \u00a0The infidels have been scattered. \u00a0Our scouts say the road is clear all the way to Harrisburg.<\/p>\n

LIFF: Excellent. \u00a0Has the matter of Kansas City been settled?<\/p>\n

RIST: The infidel Lutherans and Catholics have felt our wrath.<\/p>\n

LIFF: \u00a0Excellent. \u00a0And the Infidel Army?<\/p>\n

RIST: They appear to\u00a0be gathering in Maryland for a last stand.<\/p>\n

LIFF: All right. \u00a0We’ll see to them in a moment. \u00a0It’s time to get our insidious plan that we’ve had all along underway. \u00a0Abolish abortion, and torch all Planned Parenthoods.<\/p>\n

RIST: \u00a0Yes sir.<\/p>\n

LIFF: \u00a0Force all gay photographers to shoot straight weddings. \u00a0Require all Americans to own guns. \u00a0Abolish the income tax. \u00a0Roll back Title IX. \u00a0Ship the ELCA, NPR fans and members of the ACLU to camps in Idaho.<\/p>\n

RIST: \u00a0 As you command, brother Field Marshall.<\/p>\n

(RIST snaps off a salute and walks away<\/em>).<\/p>\n

LIFF: (Turns to his aide, Captain Ry Twing<\/em>). \u00a0I can’t believe that we pulled this off, quite frankly, Captain.<\/p>\n

TWING: \u00a0Sir?<\/p>\n

LIFF: \u00a0All these years, we managed to get the Muslims to draw attention away from our preparations. \u00a0Only a few managed to see it.<\/a> \u00a0And now, we \u00a0stand on the brink of complete victory, and exterminating all opposition.<\/p>\n

TWING: \u00a0Praise God, sir!<\/p>\n

LIFF: \u00a0Indeed!<\/p>\n

(The men go back to planning the next military move<\/em>)<\/p>\n

(And SCENE<\/em>).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0A freeway overpass relatively close to\u00a0the Ohio\/Pennsylvania border. A man – Kevin LIFF – clad in a clearly home-made general’s field-dress uniform, stands on the roof of a humvee, overlooking an immense battlefield, dotted with smoking wrecks and and ragged groups of corpses. \u00a0Whiffs of smoke scud across the landscape, and the faint cries […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-60646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=60646"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60646\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60660,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60646\/revisions\/60660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=60646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=60646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=60646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}