{"id":58230,"date":"2016-04-05T06:00:17","date_gmt":"2016-04-05T11:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=58230"},"modified":"2017-04-21T10:38:15","modified_gmt":"2017-04-21T15:38:15","slug":"virtue-whistles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=58230","title":{"rendered":"Virtue Whistles"},"content":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0Mitch BERG is shopping in the dairy aisle at Target in Roseville. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Suddenly, Avery LIBRELLE rounds the corner. \u00a0With LIBRELLE is Ashley FIGG, a young woman of apparently mixed but minority-ish ethnicity. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0 Merg! \u00a0It’s time for you to admit your privilege!<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0OK. \u00a0I was born into an intact family who made sure I stayed in school, kept my pants zipped until I could support a family, and ensured I grew up knowing that actions had consequences.<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0 No, no, no. \u00a0You’re white! \u00a0I want to introduce you to Ashley Figg. \u00a0She is a student at Macalester College.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Ms. Figg.<\/p>\n

(FIGG glowers at BERG<\/em>)<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0We’re going to have a debate!<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0A debate?<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0Yes. \u00a0First, Ms. Figg.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0…I”m not really…<\/p>\n

FIGG: \u00a0 You are white. \u00a0You have privilege.<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0Your turn, Merg.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Um, OK. \u00a0Ms. Figg, what is it you would have us\u00a0do\u00a0<\/em>about this “privilege” you talk about.<\/p>\n

FIGG: \u00a0The fact that you even ask is racist.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Um, how do you figure?<\/p>\n

FIGG: \u00a0That’s racist, too.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Seeking clarity in the discussion is “racist?”<\/p>\n

FIGG: \u00a0 You’re using your power over me. \u00a0That’s racist.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0That’s just bizarre.<\/p>\n

FIGG: \u00a0F**k you. \u00a0I hate you. \u00a0I hope you die.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0(Turns to\u00a0LIBRELLE<\/em>): \u00a0Er, Avery? \u00a0What’s the…<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0We should stop the debate…<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0…um, yeah?<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0Because clearly, Merg, you are racist.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0What, now? \u00a0I never mentioned race.<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0 You were using your power, being a racist. \u00a0 Being a racist, race is endemic in everything you say, and do, and don’t say, and don’t do. \u00a0Right, Ashley?<\/p>\n

(FIGG glowers<\/em>)<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Lavrentiy Beria called. \u00a0He said “dial back the kangaroo”.<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE: \u00a0 And now you’re mansplaining.<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0(Looks beyond FIGG and LIBRELLE<\/em>). \u00a0Hey, look – it’s Hillary Clinton! \u00a0And she’s giving out suckers!<\/p>\n

(LIBRELLE and FIGG wheel around, as BERG slips away<\/em>)<\/p>\n

(And SCENE<\/em>)<\/p>\n

(LIghts fade up in screening room. \u00a0BERG is sitting in the middle of the room. \u00a0A few rows behind, covered in popcorn debris and spilled soda, are Edmund DUCHEY and CAT SCAT, bloggers with “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com” a possibly fictional Minnesota liberal blog. \u00a0)<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n

(DUCHEY leaps to his feet, scattering popcorn debris in all directions<\/em>)<\/p>\n

DUCHEY: \u00a0Merg! \u00a0Unless you can prove every word in that film short was true, you’re a liar!. \u00a0(Pauses to wipe drool from his chin<\/em>).<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0It’s satire. \u00a0It’s meant to illustrate larger truths through a\u00a0caricature of people and events. \u00a0In this case, that the left’s social justice warrior class has become simultaneously obsessed with virtue-signaling, McCarthyistic witch-hunting and public shaming of dissenters, while simultaneously becoming less able to state a coherent case.<\/p>\n

SCAT: \u00a0The fact is, the law says you have to have a degree in satire from an Ivy League school to practice it!<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0You’re making that up.<\/p>\n

DUCHEY: \u00a0So you’re saying it never happened? \u00a0Hah!<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0Actually, of the dozens and dozens of these “dramatization” scenarios I’ve written in recent years, this one may be the least fictional of all.<\/p>\n

DEUS (EX MACHINA, via thunderstorm<\/em>). \u00a0You’re kidding?<\/p>\n

(Urine stain appears on DUCHEY’s pants<\/em>)<\/p>\n

BERG: \u00a0(Looking upward<\/em>) \u00a0Nope. \u00a0 \u00a0It pretty much happened.<\/p>\n

DEUS EX MACHINA: \u00a0Wow.<\/p>\n

(And SCENE<\/em>)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0Mitch BERG is shopping in the dairy aisle at Target in Roseville. \u00a0 Suddenly, Avery LIBRELLE rounds the corner. \u00a0With LIBRELLE is Ashley FIGG, a young woman of apparently mixed but minority-ish ethnicity. \u00a0 LIBRELLE: \u00a0 Merg! \u00a0It’s time for you to admit your privilege! BERG: \u00a0OK. \u00a0I was born into an intact family […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,374,349],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-58230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pc","category-social-justice","category-urban-liberal-privilege-liberal-tyranny","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=58230"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58230\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":58246,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58230\/revisions\/58246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=58230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=58230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=58230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}