I was digging through some old websites that I created, easily 3-4 years before I discovered blogging, when putting opinion on the web involved a lot of futzing around with HTML, FTP and various badly-designed “web editing” tools.<\/p>\n
And I stumbled across a 1998 edition of the “DFL Dictionary”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And I figured it was a lot better than the one I wrote in 2002, although I’m probably not the one to judge.<\/p>\n
So here it is:\u00a0 the 1998 edition of The DFL Dictionary:<\/p>\n
One of very few things that binds us as a people is our common language.\u00a0<\/p>\n
So it was with great concern that I received, from an informant within\u00a0 the Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor (DFL) party, a copy of their official internal dictionary.\u00a0 It is clear – the DFL, as part of a larger left-wing conspiracy, intends to coopt the English Language!<\/p>\n
Read it, and forward it, get angry about it.\u00a0 This is serious, and it is very scary.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0The DFL Dictionary<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0TOP SECRET<\/strong><\/p>\n
The contents of this document are highly sensitive to the party\u2019s communication, and must not be divulged to anyone outside the Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party Executive Committee.<\/p>\n
Purpose<\/strong><\/p>\n
In the interest of fostering diversity, it was deemed necessary to develop a tool to allow DFL activists to all speak precisely the same language in public or media discourse.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The Dictionary<\/strong><\/p>\n
Abuse<\/strong> – Noun: when any Man\u00a0 hits, talks sternly to or offends the sensitivities of any Family member.\u00a0 See Self-Defense.<\/p>\n
Abstinence – <\/strong>Noun: Construct of Dead, White European Males to oppress Womyn.<\/p>\n
Activist Group<\/strong> – Any Radical group that supports DFL policies by any means\u00a0 Ex: Nations of Islam, Symbionese Liberation Army, the IRA, National Organization of Womyn.<\/p>\n
Africa<\/strong> – Noun: a place with endemic and epidemic ethnic violence and corrosive intertribal prejudice that frequently explodes into genocidal horrors, which is nonetheless home to thousands of villages after which we should model our Family-raising practices.<\/p>\n
Almanac<\/strong> – A news program, which, despite the fact that it\u2019s produced by a bunch of upper-middle-class-guilt-afflicted white yuppies whose employment depends on a government\u00a0subsidy from a DFL-controlled legislature, is \u201can objective look at current affairs in Minnesota\u201d.<\/p>\n
Asia<\/strong> – Noun: a place with deeply institutionalized societal racism and corrosive interethnic prejudice that frequently explodes into genocidal horrors, which is nonetheless home to the only non-animistic Religion\u00a0 approved by Hollywood \u00ae.<\/p>\n
Businesspeople<\/strong> – People who don\u2019t want to work for the Government, and are as such an oppressive construct designed by Dead White European Males.<\/p>\n
Campaign Finance Reform – <\/strong>A plan to get big money out of politics, to give voice to those who really deserve a bigger voice in politics –\u00a0 big labor and the media.<\/p>\n
Censorship Noun<\/strong> – Bowdlerization or expungement of literature, media or communication practised by conservative groups.\u00a0 Not to be mistaken for heckling or disrupting the speech of those disagreeing with the DFL or liberal policies, or campus speech codes designed to protect the sensitivities of Protected Groups.\u00a0 See Speech Codes.<\/p>\n
Choice<\/strong> – Noun: having the option to abort a fetus, expose one\u2019s private parts or burn a flag in public.\u00a0 See Essential Human Rights.\u00a0 Sometimes confused with Freedom.\u00a0 Specific exceptions: Guns, Private Property, personal income.<\/p>\n
Class Struggle<\/strong> – Verb: The age-old struggle of the DFL and the working-class, disenfranchised person against the oppression of a huge, arrogant ruling class.\u00a0 Except for the NRA.<\/p>\n
Client<\/strong> Noun: Anyone served by the welfare system.<\/p>\n
Conservatism<\/strong> Noun: see Hate<\/p>\n
Constitution<\/strong> – The First amendment and a bunch of other negotiable stuff.\u00a0 Superceded by \u201cEssential Human Rights\u201d<\/p>\n
Criminal<\/strong> Victim of grave societal injustice.\u00a0 Potential Client.\u00a0 (Exception: Men)<\/p>\n
DFL<\/strong> The Democratic Farmer Labor Party, and its\u2019 wholly owned subsidiaries (the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Minnesota Public Radio, Vance Opperman, the Hubert H. Humphrey Institute and the MFT)<\/p>\n
Diversity<\/strong>\u00a0 Noun: People who look different than you, but think the same.\u00a0 Specificially excludes Conservatives,<\/p>\n
Europe<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: Anscestral Home of the dreaded \u201cDead White European Male\u201d, a place to be reviled and castigated.<\/li>\n
\n
- Except for their social programs<\/li>\n
- And gun control<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/ul>\n
Family Noun<\/strong>: a Womyn and her Children.\u00a0 See also Man, Father<\/p>\n
Family Planning <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: any means of preventing childbirth except abstinence.<\/li>\n
- Noun: the utter lack of planning one\u2019s family<\/li>\n
- Verb: Euphemism for aborting a fetus.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Farmers <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: people who grow plants on actual farms and do not vote for the DFL.<\/li>\n
- Noun: a vestigial part of the term DFL which lost meaning when they all started voting Republican.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Fascist<\/strong> Adj: describing any idea one disagrees with. Commonly heard around U of M College of Liberal Arts,\u00a0 Macalester College.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Father <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: A lifestyle option for a Family.\u00a0<\/li>\n
- Noun: Payer of child-support to a Family.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Construct of Dead, White European Males, considered obsolete and oppressive as part of the Family (q.v)<\/li>\n
- Verb: the act of creating both a new Client and Father (see definitions 1-3).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Freedom\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: The Sixties.\u00a0 See Essential Human Rights.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Conservative notions of Liberty (see \u201cSlavery\u201d)\u00a0 right to own property, defend self, be free of government intervention in one\u2019s life.\u00a0 Officially obsolete.\u00a0<\/li>\n
- Adj: Another word for \u201cNothing Left To Lose\u201d.\u00a0 A mantra of baby-boomer liberal yuppies who drive to DFL caucuses in their turbo Saabs.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Lack of want for rent, food, medical care or official concern for your happiness.\u00a0 See \u201cNeeds\u201d<\/li>\n
- When combined with \u201cresponsibility\u201d, some Radical\u00a0 DFLers call it \u201cslavery\u201d.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Genocidal<\/strong> Adj: Any activity that liberals find offensive.<\/p>\n
God<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: Grace Slick\u2019s first name for her daughter.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Dead White European Males\u2019 rival concept to government.\u00a0 Officially obsolete.\u00a0 (exception: the Wiccan form \u201cGoddess\u201d, Native American and Buddist-via-California varieties).<\/li>\n
- Good, Evil, Right or Wrong: Construct of Dead, White,\u00a0 European Males, considered obsolete and oppressive.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Government<\/strong> Noun: the only human body capable of any good.\u00a0 Never capable of evil.\u00a0 All knowing, all benificent.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Guns<\/strong> Noun: The root of all evil, when in the hands of the law-abiding citizen.\u00a0 Exceptions: Police, Sixties terrorists.\u00a0\u00a0 See Criminal, NRA.<\/p>\n
Hate<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Verb or Noun: Dissent from DFL positions on anything from Race Relations to school textbooks.<\/li>\n
- Noun: see Conservatism<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Hollywood<\/strong>\u00ae\u00a0 – Noun, Adjective: A town full of intensely greedy, filthy-rich white men who traffic in Pornography and Violence\u00a0 who are nonetheless fully acceptable as Liberals.\u00a0 Exceptions: Tom Selleck, Charleton Heston, Warren Zevon.<\/p>\n
Humphrey Institute\u00a0 – <\/strong>An Educational body that, despite staff that are pro-big-labor, anti-business, pro-high-tax, anti-gun, pro-abortion, anti-free-enterprise and pro-government intervention, is still acceptably liberal.\u00a0 A wholly-owned subsidiary of the DFL<\/p>\n
Hypocrisy<\/strong> Any disconnect between action and statement regarding any moral issue.\u00a0 Don\u2019t See: Andy Dawkins, Paul Wellstone, Bill or Hillary Clinton.<\/p>\n
Individual<\/strong> Noun: A biological construct fully dependant on Government for all of life\u2019s necessities and Needs<\/p>\n
Intelligence<\/strong>: Something that is only recognized as occurring in DFLers.\u00a0 \u201cIntelligence\u201d in Republicans is always referred to as \u201cHate\u201d<\/p>\n
Labor – <\/strong>Noun: A vestigial part of the term DFL which lost any literal meaning when they all got jobs with the state.
\n\u201cOrganized Labor\u201d\u00a0 a fully-owned subsidiary of the DFL (q.v)
\nNoun: Something the DFL doesn\u2019t want womyn to go through.
\nLove\u00a0 Noun: Total Agreement with all DFL policies<\/p>\nLying<\/strong> – Verb: When a non-Democratic politician makes a statement that is not strictly true.\u00a0 See \u201cTruth\u201d<\/p>\n
Macalester College<\/strong> –\u00a0Berkeley without the tan.\u00a0 See also Saint Catherine\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Man<\/strong> – Noun: Construct of Dead, White European Males, considered obsolete and oppressive as part of the Family (q.v) or Society.<\/p>\n
Marriage – <\/strong>An oppressive institution designed by Dead White European Males to enslave Families.<\/p>\n
\n
- Unless the couple is Gay, in which case it\u2019s an important legislative priority.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Media<\/strong> Noun:an industry which, while anti-free-enterprise, pro-choice, anti-gun, and who relentlessly fawn over Democratic candidates and personalities nationwide, are officially \u201cNot Liberal\u201d and have no \u201cleft wing bias\u201d\u00a0 See Almanac, Star\/Tribune, MPR.<\/p>\n
Military<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Unless you\u2019re a gay who wants to serve<\/li>\n
- Noun: Terrible ugly horrible people in tacky clothes<\/li>\n
- Unless you need to bomb aspirin factories in the Sudan.<\/li>\n
- Synonym:\u00a0 \u201cScapegoat\u201d.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Military Service –<\/strong> Noun: Something that wasn\u2019t important until Dan Quayle became Vice President, and then ceased to be important again.<\/p>\n
Minnesota Public Radio <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- A Media body that, despite editorial policies that are pro-big-labor, anti-business, pro-high-tax, anti-gun, pro-abortion, anti-free-enterprise and pro-government intervention, is really not Liberal .\u00a0 See Star\/Tribune.<\/li>\n
- Minnesota outlet for National Public Radio<\/strong>, a large, largely taxpayer funded organization of cliquish eastern media aristocrats which, despite the fact that its editorial and content policies that are pro-big-labor, anti-business, pro-high-tax, anti-gun, pro-abortion, anti-free-enterprise and pro-government intervention, is really not Liberal .<\/li>\n
- A wholly-owned subsidiary of the DFL<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Needs<\/strong> – Noun: Things that must be supplied to Individuals by the Government or its authorized agents: Food, shelter, birth control and family counseling, sensitivity. Government services and free expression (but not as to private property, self-defense or Religion).<\/p>\n
NRA<\/strong> – An overwhelmingly working-class group that is nonetheless a tool of the aristocracy and who don\u2019t know what\u2019s good for them.\u00a0 See Class Struggle.<\/p>\n
Outstate<\/strong> – Fascists, largely controlled by Farmers<\/p>\n
Partisan\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun:\u00a0 Anyone who disagrees with any DFL stance.<\/li>\n
- Adj:\u00a0Refers to any belief that differs in\u00a0any particular from a DFL stance, for any reason.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Penis<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- An oppressive construct designed by Dead White European Males to enslave and oppress Families.<\/li>\n
- Unless owned by a Gay Person.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Person<\/strong> – A non-gender-specific reference to a humyn.<\/p>\n
Political Correctness<\/strong> – Noun: [erased].\u00a0 Never existed.\u00a0 And it was something the Republicans made up, anyway.\u00a0 Democrats never had any such concept.<\/p>\n
Pornography<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Sexual Exploitation of Womyn for Entertainment.<\/li>\n
- Unless it\u2019s Art.<\/li>\n
- Or from Hollywood \u00ae<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Private Property<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: An oppressive construct designed by Dead White European Males to enslave Families.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Future potential property of the Government<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Progressive<\/strong> – Adj: Total Agreement with all DFL positions.\u00a0 See \u201cLove\u201d.Protected GroupsAny group that has been victimized by Whites and\/or men.\u00a0 Except whites and\/or men.<\/p>\n
Radical<\/strong> – An activist who harms people or destroys property in pursuit of causes the DFL approves of.<\/p>\n
Regressive<\/strong>: Adj: Dissent from DFL positions.\u00a0 See \u201cHate\u201d, \u201cConservative\u201d.<\/p>\n
Religion<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun: An oppressive construct designed by Dead White European Males to enslave Womyn.<\/li>\n
- Noun: something to be ruthlessly excised from public schools.
\nUnless it\u2019s Native American, Wiccan, approved by Hollywood \u00ae and\/or the World Council of Churches, and\/or doesn\u2019t recognize the concepts of Good, Evil, Right or Wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nRight-Wing Hate Group<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Any organization that dissents from DFL policy, usually composed of potential Terrorists.\u00a0 Examples: Boy Scouts of America, Promise Keepers, the Baptist Church, the NRA, Family Resource Council.\u00a0<\/li>\n
- Antonym: Activist Group<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Rights<\/strong> Noun: describes the essential rights:<\/p>\n
\n
- The right to be free from want, fear or anxiety.\u00a0 Except over the environment.<\/li>\n
- The right never to be offended.\u00a0 Unless you\u2019re white and\/or male.
\nThe right to abort a fetus without question at any age<\/li>\n- Complete artistic freedom (except when the art offends the sensitivities of any Protected Groups<\/li>\n
- The right to obtain birth control at any age in any place for free.<\/li>\n
- The right to complete freedom of speech that doesn\u2019t offend Protected Groups<\/li>\n
- Protection from unnecessary punishment if you are a criminal<\/li>\n
- The right to practice the removal of any religion (q.v) that doesn\u2019t agree with DFL policies.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Ronald Reagan<\/strong> A right-wing Legend.\u00a0 He Never Existed.<\/p>\n
Self-Defense<\/strong> Noun: When any Family (q.v) member kills or injures any Man (q.v) for any reason at all.\u00a0 See Abuse.<\/p>\n
Sex – <\/strong>An oppressive construct designed by Dead White European Males to humiliate and degrade Womyn.<\/p>\n
\n
- Unless it\u2019s between Gays.<\/li>\n
- Or Baby-Boomers who were once Radicals<\/li>\n
- Or High School kids using school-provided Birth Control or who plan to use DFL-approved Family Planning.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Speech Codes<\/strong> Noun: Sort of like Censorship, only practiced by people who agree with the DFL.<\/p>\n
Star\/Tribune <\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Prop. Noun: A Media body that, despite editorial policies that are pro-big-labor, anti-business, pro-high-tax, anti-gun, pro-abortion, anti-free-enterprise and pro-government intervention, is really Conservative<\/li>\n
- A wholly-owned subsidiary of the DFL<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Subsidy\u00a0– <\/strong>Giving people other people\u2019s money to enable them to do what they do, which is a good thing if it\u2019s NPR, the Coalition to Take Back the Night or any of a thousand \u201cartists\u201d living off State grants, but not when it\u2019s businesspeople.\u00a0 See Welfare.<\/p>\n
Terrorist<\/strong> – An activist that harms people or destroys property that dissents from policies the DFL approves of.\u00a0 Not to be confused with Kathleen Soliah.<\/p>\n
The Sixties<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Noun, Verb, Adjective: All that is\/was well and good in the world.\u00a0 Freedom, love, peace, tranquility.\u00a0 That for which we strive.\u00a0 See \u201cFreedom\u201d.<\/li>\n
- Noun: Substitute for God<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Truth<\/strong> – Noun: whatever makes us feel good.<\/p>\n
Vance Opperman<\/strong> A filthy-rich white man who is nonetheless fully acceptable as a liberal.\u00a0 See George Soros<\/p>\n
Violence<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
- Anything that oppresses Protected Groups or Families<\/li>\n
- Porrnography<\/li>\n
- Meat<\/li>\n
- Unless it\u2019s Art related to Gay Sadomasochism<\/li>\n
- Or\u00a0 it\u2019s from Hollywood \u00ae.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Welfare –<\/strong>\u00a0Giving people other people\u2019s money to enable them to do what they do, which is a good thing if it\u2019s MPR, the Coalition to Take Back the Night or any of a thousand \u201cartists\u201d living off State grants, but not when it\u2019s businesspeople.\u00a0 See Subsidy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So I\u00a0really haven’t changed all that much in 11 years.\u00a0 And either has the DFL.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I was digging through some old websites that I created, easily 3-4 years before I discovered blogging, when putting opinion on the web involved a lot of futzing around with HTML, FTP and various badly-designed “web editing” tools. And I stumbled across a 1998 edition of the “DFL Dictionary”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-democrats","category-mitch"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5316"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5316\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}