{"id":4741,"date":"2009-05-06T07:41:47","date_gmt":"2009-05-06T12:41:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=4741"},"modified":"2009-05-06T07:41:47","modified_gmt":"2009-05-06T12:41:47","slug":"worst-in-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=4741","title":{"rendered":"Worst In Show"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m going to do the world a huge public service.<\/p>\n

Lawn product dealers! Menards, Lowe’s, Home Depot!\u00a0 It’d be good marketing to prevent your products from killing your customers’ dogs!<\/em><\/p>\n

Please see to this.<\/em><\/p>\n

There.\u00a0 This way, everyone’s happy.\u00a0 And this way, the government doesn’t have to waste time noodling about debating warning signs for dogs<\/a> instead of figuring out how to fix the mess caused by the Legislature’s 10 year orgy of spending:<\/p>\n

A bill that would require retailers to post notices that cocoa bean mulch can be dangerous to pets brought howls of indignation about overweening government and stories about the time Fido or Felix got sick from eating the wrong thing.The problem: Dogs can get sick from eating cocoa bean shells, which are growing in popularity as a landscaping mulch.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dogs and chocolate.\u00a0 Hello?<\/p>\n

More regulation?\u00a0 It’s a DFL thing:<\/p>\n

A constituent of Minneapolis DFLer Frank Hornstein came to him this year after the death of the family Labrador retriever. Hornstein offered legislation on the House floor Tuesday directing retailers to put up a sign indicating that cocoa bean shell mulch could be hazardous to pets if eaten.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now, there may be bigger threats to democracy than masses of dog fanciers.<\/p>\n

But there are few as humorless:<\/p>\n

Fangs started to show when Delano Republican Tom Emmer wondered what language the signs would be written in. Told by Hornstein, whose family dog is a Cockapoo, that the signs would be in English, Emmer scoffed: “I’m very concerned because I don’t believe the dog can read that,” he said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Emmer should expect to be picketed by hordes of irate people with Ploobradors and JackShihtzus carrying signs wedged into their little harnesses.<\/p>\n

And by the way – these new breeds of dogs that are popping up?\u00a0 Hello, people – opportunity!\u00a0 There is no rational reason a Labrador\/Poodle cross should not <\/em>be a Ploobrador; if there is not <\/em>a Jack Russell\/Shihtzu cross, then the terrorists have won.<\/p>\n

Anyway – keep the cocoa bean mulch away from the dogs.\u00a0 And next chance you get, keep the DFL away from office.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m going to do the world a huge public service. Lawn product dealers! Menards, Lowe’s, Home Depot!\u00a0 It’d be good marketing to prevent your products from killing your customers’ dogs! Please see to this. There.\u00a0 This way, everyone’s happy.\u00a0 And this way, the government doesn’t have to waste time noodling about debating warning signs for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minnesota-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4741","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4741"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4741\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4741"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4741"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4741"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}