{"id":44674,"date":"2014-06-04T11:44:29","date_gmt":"2014-06-04T16:44:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=44674"},"modified":"2014-10-19T16:19:49","modified_gmt":"2014-10-19T21:19:49","slug":"one-day-in-the-governors-office","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=44674","title":{"rendered":"One Day In The Governor&#8217;s Office"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>SCENE:\u00a0 The office of the Governor of Minnesota.\u00a0\u00a0 Gathered around a table are:<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Carrie LUCKING, the Executive Director of Alida Messinger&#8217;s &#8220;Alliance for a Better Minnesota.\u00a0 She is at the head of\u00a0table.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Bob HUME, the Governor&#8217;s chief of staff, sits at LUCKING&#8217;s right.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Tina FLINT-SMITH, the governor&#8217;s other chief of staff, is at LUCKING&#8217;s left.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Yvette PRETTNER-SOLON, the Lieutenant Governor, dozes at\u00a0 far end of the table<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Hannah UNDERLING is standing by.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 In the name of Alita the Mother Almighty, I call this meeting to order!<\/p>\n<p>HUME, FLINT-SMITH and UNDERLING:\u00a0 All hail!<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 So what have you discovered?<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 Well, honey&#8230; (LUCKING fixes HUME with a withering glare) &#8230;er, sir, the Republicans are facing an unruly split in the Libertarian wing of the party.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH:\u00a0 We believe they can be wedged.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 In the name of Mighty Alita (a speaker blares a thunder sound effect in the background, and UNDERLING flickers the light switch of and on a few times) make it so.<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 We&#8217;ll <a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/politics\/statelocal\/261610051.html\">pass the governor off as a Libertarian<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH:\u00a0 I&#8217;ll put Baird Helgeson on it, over at the Strib.\u00a0 Hannah?<\/p>\n<p>UNDERLING:\u00a0 Yes, ma&#8217;am?<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH:\u00a0 Issue an order to the Strib.\u00a0 The Governor is now a libertarian.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>UNDERLING: By your leave.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 What else?<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 We have reason to believe that the GOP is going to make a move for Somali immigrants.\u00a0 They even have a candidate, running against Phyllis Kahn.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 We shall make the Governor Muslim.\u00a0 His middle name is Faruq.\u00a0\u00a0 (Thunder effect, as UNDERLING flickers the lights).<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH (gets up and walks to and opens\u00a0the closet door).\u00a0 Mark?<\/p>\n<p>GOVERNOR MARK DAYTON (muffled, from inside closet):\u00a0 Huh?<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH: You&#8217;re Muslim now.<\/p>\n<p>DAYTON: (thinly) OK.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>(FLINT-SMITH closes the door)<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 Next?<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 The GOP had their convention.\u00a0 They endorsed several candidates, but several are going to the primary.<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH:\u00a0 AKA &#8220;The DFL Way&#8221; .<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 Who are these people?<\/p>\n<p>HUME (pulling out clipboard):\u00a0 The first is the governor candidate, Jeff Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING (thinking deeply):\u00a0 We shall issue a press release saying he is Wrong For Minnesota.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH:\u00a0 Hannah?\u00a0 Get on it.\u00a0 (UNDERLING takes a note)<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 The next one is the Senate candidate, Mike McFadden.<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING (thinking even deeper):\u00a0 We shall issue a press release saying McFadden is&#8230;Wrong For Minnesota.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>(UNDERLING takes a note)<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 Dan Severson is running for Secretary of State.<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING (deep in thought):\u00a0 I think that we need to tell Minnesotans that Severson is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>(silence.\u00a0 HUME and FLINT-SMITH wait with bated breath, as UNDERLING scribbles on her notepad and PRETTNER-SOLON snores lightly)<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 Severson is Wrong For Minnesota.\u00a0 (nods her head as the others jot notes).<\/p>\n<p>UNDERLING:\u00a0 How about Arne Carlson?<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 Arne Carlson is&#8230;Wrong for Minnesota as well.<\/p>\n<p>UNDERLING:\u00a0 He&#8217;s not actually on the ballot.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING (looks confused for a moment.\u00a0 Then focuses on UNDERLING):\u00a0 <em>You <\/em>are Wrong for Minnesota.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0\u00a0I brought brownies.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>FLINT-SMITH (taking a brownie, takes a bite.\u00a0 Grimaces):\u00a0 Um&#8230;did you use salt, or sugar?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 Dammit.\u00a0 Not again&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 The brownies are Wrong For Minnesota.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>HUME:\u00a0 Oh, by the way, Carrie?\u00a0 I couldn&#8217;t get reservations at Crave tonight.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>LUCKING:\u00a0 That&#8217;s Wrong for Minnesota!<\/p>\n<p>(And SCENE)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SCENE:\u00a0 The office of the Governor of Minnesota.\u00a0\u00a0 Gathered around a table are: Carrie LUCKING, the Executive Director of Alida Messinger&#8217;s &#8220;Alliance for a Better Minnesota.\u00a0 She is at the head of\u00a0table. Bob HUME, the Governor&#8217;s chief of staff, sits at LUCKING&#8217;s right. Tina FLINT-SMITH, the governor&#8217;s other chief of staff, is at LUCKING&#8217;s left. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[121,20],"tags":[236,318],"class_list":["post-44674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campaign-14","category-democrats","tag-dramatization","tag-mngov-2014"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44674"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44674\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48250,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44674\/revisions\/48250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}