(SCENE:\u00a0 at a chi-chi coffee shop in South Minneapolis.\u00a0 Mitch BERG’s eyes go a little wide with sticker shock before he orders a light roast with room for cream and Splenda)<\/p>\n
(As BERG turns to leave, he notices a table with three diners – Carpal POX, Garth MULLER and Viktor VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE.\u00a0 He tries to slip out the door, but MULLER notices him).<\/p>\n
MULLER:\u00a0\u00a0 Mitch!\u00a0 Come over here!\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 (He puts his coffee on the table and sits).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0 You call yourself a libertarian-conservative.<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0Er – yeah, sure.\u00a0 If we insist on labels, that’s\u00a0 probably as accurate a label as possible. Provided you throw in “fiscal conservative, social libertarian and legal originalist”.\u00a0<\/p>\n
VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 That is impossible.\u00a0 Libertarianism isn’t compatible with Conservatism.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Perhaps.\u00a0 That’s why I call myself a libertrian-conservative; small l, small c.\u00a0 I believe in limited government.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0 It’s impossible to “limit” government.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0Well, it’s certainly difficult.\u00a0 We’re into three centuries of fighting that battle now.\u00a0<\/p>\n
MULLER:\u00a0That’s why we anarcho-libertarians advocate no government at all.<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0Well, good luck with that.\u00a0 Seriously.\u00a0 You find a way to abolish formal government, you let me know.\u00a0 Keep us posted.\u00a0 I’m all ears.<\/p>\n
VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 Most of the world’s problems come from government oppression.\u00a0 That’s why we follow the “NAP”.\u00a0<\/p>\n
MULLER:\u00a0 The “Non-Aggression Principle”.<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Basically the Golden Rule – do unto others as\u00a0 you’d like them to do unto you.\u00a0 I got that.\u00a0<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0 With government out of the way, people will follow the NAP.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Well, there you’re up to one of the two reasons I left the Big-L Libertarian Party.\u00a0 Because for small communities, the “Non-Aggression Principle” works just hunky dory, for a while.\u00a0 But then you get to one of the most timeless principles of human nature – one best articulated by Mr. Carlton, on the classic “Bob Newhart Show” back in the seventies.\u00a0 “People are trash”.\u00a0<\/p>\n
VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0How cynical of you!<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Well, maybe not “trash”, but fundamentally corrupt.\u00a0 It’s one of the basic principles of conservatism; people are by their nature troublesome creatures…<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0…and so they need big, bad, macho government to keep them in line.\u00a0<\/p>\n
VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 Yeah!<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 And you call me a cynic!\u00a0 That’s one way of looking at it.\u00a0 Another way is that people need to agree on a few ground rules by which people interact with each other, and when worse comes to worst, enforce those rules.<\/p>\n
VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0EnFORCE!\u00a0 See?\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Well, yeah – there’s violence inherent in the system, yeah, yeah, I get it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0 The idea that people are fundamentally corrupt is a social construct.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 So is the ideal that they’renotfundamentally corrupt.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And since I’m being idealistic, let’s run it down.\u00a0 There are exactly two legitimate reasons for “government”.\u00a0 Jointly protect our society from those who’d do us harm, and ensure that contracts between people have some means to be enforced.\u00a0 That’s it.\u00a0\u00a0 Government should – and must – be a free association of equals, mutually consenting to whatever rules are to be agreed on.\u00a0<\/p>\n
POX:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Like government ever stays within limits.\u00a0<\/p>\n
BERG:\u00a0 Well, yeah – there’s constant tension between liberty and law.\u00a0 And if you get to be idealistic-to-the-point-of-pollyannaish about how “anarchy” would play out, then I get to be idealistic about how “limited goverment” should <\/em>work.\u00a0<\/p>\n Anyway, it’s the complete inability of a “libertarian” society to address either of those two communitarian demands – a reasonable level of security, and the ability to be reasonably certain contracts will be honored – that are why I left the Big-L in the first place.\u00a0<\/p>\n For example:\u00a0 let’s say someone flies overhead in an Anarcho-Drone and shoots an Anarcho-Ray at every city, county, state, province, region, nation and other political boundary in the world.\u00a0 Poof.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>All government is dissolved.<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 Sounds good.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 But then someone – let’s say those danged Methodists – decide they’ve taken enough guff from those darned Catholics.\u00a0<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 But they won’t.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0Why?<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 How realistic is that?\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Have you ever actually read <\/em>history?\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 Lots.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 So you’re saying that if everyone treats others the way they want to be treated, nobody – no “have-nots”, no insane, no sociopaths, no nobody – will decide that it’s easier to take what they want, food or money or sex or whatever, than to get it the way everyone else does?\u00a0<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 I’ll just depend on the people in my voluntarily constituted group of anarcho-libertarian neighbors to help me out.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 You weren’t listening.\u00a0 I didn’t say “Methodist”.\u00a0 I said “Methodists”.\u00a0 Plural.\u00a0 They’ve ganged up – as society’s ne’er-do-wells often do, whether they’re Methodists, Crips, Gambinos, Thuggee <\/em>or what have you.\u00a0 And as your voluntarily-constituted neighbors – the ones within earshot of your house – see the Methodists tearing your house apart, perhaps they suddenly exercise their free will and don’t <\/em>help out…<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 …well, that’s sure cynical of you.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 And let’s say they do, and you kill and drive off and capture some of the Methodists.\u00a0 Then what?<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 We shoot them.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Because you can, right?\u00a0 Your due process is whatever your animalistic emotions tell you it is after seeing what they did to Garth’s family?<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 Hell <\/em>yeah!<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 So when someone in your voluntarist anarcho-libertarian group falsely accuses you of a crime, you want that same sort of “due process?”<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 The “justice system” often fails today!<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Stipulated!\u00a0 And irrelevant!\u00a0 Except that ideals, in contact with nature – whether they’re your ideals or mine – always break down.\u00a0<\/p>\n But let’s be less alarmist and stop picking on Methodists.\u00a0 Mr Pox – in your job, you get paid in cash in advance for the work you do, right?<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 That’s not the way business works.\u00a0 But I make sure I convert any money I get into something of value as soon as I can…<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0…which is also great, and also irrelevant.\u00a0 If your employer or client doesn’t pay you, what do you do?\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0I see what you’re doing, Berg.\u00a0 You’re trying to back me into a corner!\u00a0 But I’m not falling for that.\u00a0 I support voluntary governments.\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 Think “Government by Subscription”.<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 Because why should I be tied to a government by dint of where I was born?<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0Under this plan, people would voluntarily join groupings of people and pay, voluntarily, for the “services” – protection, courts, infrastructure, whatever – that they promise to provide.\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 And you can drop your subscription any time you want.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 So a “subscription” usually implies some sort of contractual obligation; you pay a fee, you get a service for some length of time.\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 So if you pay your government for a month of service…<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0…yep.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0…and then, hypothetically, use six months of services – a fire, a police investigation, whatever…<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0OK…<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 And then decide to skip to a different voluntary government – let’s call it Government B – owing your first voluntary government, Government A, a ton of money or services, then what?<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 Then Government A goes after you in Government B’s court.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0What if Government B doesn’t recognize Government A’s claim as valid?<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 Then they fight it out.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 How?\u00a0 With what?\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 I suppose worse comes to worst, it’s a form of warfare.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0Y’know, that sounds a lot like a series of\u00a0“protection rackets” to me.\u00a0<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 Well, it’s all irrelevant.\u00a0 Come “the Collapse”, everything will be anarchy.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0Why do you say that?\u00a0<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0 People won’t be able to afford government.\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0And then we’ll have peace.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Because the record of humanity when all hell breaks loose is so <\/em>good.\u00a0 Actually – I take that back.\u00a0 90% of humanity does look out for each other pretty well.\u00a0\u00a0 LIke on 9\/11 – without any authority around, the vast majority of the people in the Twin Towers organized themselves and got themselves, and the handicapped and injured, out of harm’s way while “the authorities” were still struggling to figure out what was going on.\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 There’s no way that 10% of society doesn’t react positively to a crisis.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Well, we can certainly hope so, can’t we!\u00a0 At any rate – have any of you ever read Mel Tappen?\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0Who?\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0Sounds like an angry white guy.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 He was an economist back in the sixties and seventies.\u00a0 And a libertarian with a big L.\u00a0 He was calling for ending the Fed long before most of you were born.\u00a0 He was also one of the godfathers of modern “Survivalism”, which is a term that means a lot of things to a lot of people.\u00a0 Anyway – he cited a truism about human behavior in crisis conditions.\u00a0 In an extended, life-or-death crisis, one person in ten will steal food.\u00a0 One in 100 will kill for food.\u00a0 One in 1,000 will resort to cannibalism, and one out of 10,000 will actively hunt humans.\u00a0<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0 There is just no way that is true.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0Well, maybe.\u00a0 I mean, Tappen also swore up and down that the economy was going to completely collapse from the debts and deficits by the mid-eighties.\u00a0 He died in 1978, so it’s irrelevant to him – but let’s say that his bromides are as accurate as his predictions; let’s knock ’em back by an order of magnitude.\u00a0 Let’s say that…<\/p>\n Now, let’s say “the Collapse” is just that.\u00a0 Complete collapse.\u00a0 Within a one-day walk of this coffee shop, as we sit here today, there are about two million people.\u00a0 In a complete fiscal and social armageddon, that means there are 20,000 food thieves, 2,000 who’ll kill for food, 200 cannibals, and 20 human-meat hunters can get to where you are, right now, in 24 hours.\u00a0 And by definition, their only “Non-Aggression Principle” is “I can not be aggressed against if I get my target first”, and their “Golden Rule” ends at “Do unto others…”.\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 You make anarchy sound so…<\/p>\n MULLER:\u00a0…scary.<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Nah, I’m just being an anti-Pollyanna.\u00a0 Now, since birds of a feather flock together, let’s say 20-30 from the “Will Kill For Food” tribe get together – voluntarily! – and lay siege to Viktor’s place.\u00a0 And he calls the two of you, and me, together to bail him out.\u00a0 And you (points at POX) and Garth get your guns and start heading over – but I decide out of my own enlightened self-interest that I’d rather defend my place.\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0 I’d shoot you for cowardice.\u00a0<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 Huh.\u00a0 Seems…aggressive?<\/p>\n VON SCHLIEFFERNBERG-MOLTKE:\u00a0\u00a0 So you say we should give up liberty to protect against a paranoid fantasy?<\/p>\n BERG:\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I say that humanity gives itself challenges that no individual human can deal with alone.\u00a0 And so humans gather – ideally via mutual consent – and agree to ground rules, and try to keep people from taking advantage of the ground rules just as surely as they do the lack of them.\u00a0 And doing that is a whole lot more difficult than banking the future a pseudo-religious faith in the goodness of human nature – but also the only way to stay ahead of both of human nature, whether they operate as individual contract frauds or bands of thugs.\u00a0<\/p>\n POX:\u00a0Aliens!<\/p>\n (And SCENE)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (SCENE:\u00a0 at a chi-chi coffee shop in South Minneapolis.\u00a0 Mitch BERG’s eyes go a little wide with sticker shock before he orders a light roast with room for cream and Splenda) (As BERG turns to leave, he notices a table with three diners – Carpal POX, Garth MULLER and Viktor VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE.\u00a0 He tries to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[236,319],"class_list":["post-39548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-liberty","tag-dramatization","tag-the-big-l"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39548"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39548\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48396,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39548\/revisions\/48396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n