{"id":3872,"date":"2008-12-24T10:59:07","date_gmt":"2008-12-24T15:59:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=3872"},"modified":"2008-12-24T18:23:15","modified_gmt":"2008-12-24T23:23:15","slug":"im-dreaming-of-a-green-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=3872","title":{"rendered":"I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here at the Hopey Changey Roosh household, we are concerned for the environment too.<\/p>\n

We’re all wearing Green to celebrate the coming rescue by Brrr Ack! Obanana of our besieged Mother Earth.<\/p>\n

After reading Mitch’s alarming post<\/a>, I convened an ad hoc family symposium! Starting today, we only turn on our L.E.D. Christmas<\/strike> (er – sorry to offend) X-Mas lights during off-peak hours (2:20-2:40 AM) so please stop by then to enjoy their glorious splendor.<\/p>\n

We have our thermostat set for a cozy 52 degrees, but we’re a Snuggly-Wuggly clan! Plus, we have discovered coats and snow pants aren’t just for the outdoors any more! Yay!<\/p>\n

Our Turkey was interviewed before we chose it to make sure that it wasn’t mistreated, and we made sure to buy one that died of old age.<\/p>\n

Yum.<\/p>\n

In order to thwart Global Warming<\/strike> Cooling<\/strike> Change, we are walking to Church as a family this year! It’s 4.9 miles by car but we should be able to shave some of that by cutting through yards and crossing streets diagonally, like The Crosstown Highway 62. It’ll be a swell time to try out our new Vegan-Tanned Ethical Leather shoes!<\/p>\n

Gift-giving is another way to express your rage for the Bush Administration, Corporations, Employers, Wall Street, Exxon, SUV Owners, Methane-Leaking Cows, Taxpayers, Jon Voight, God-Fearing Bible Bangers, Plumbers and Hockey Moms.<\/p>\n

First of all, we’re really into recycling, so all of our gifts are recycled this year too!<\/p>\n

I can’t wait to see the look on Great Grandpa’s face when he unwraps my son’s Playstation 2! We didn’t want to contribute to the slaughter of our forests so we wrapped it in Saran Wrap.<\/p>\n

A guy in the cube next to me says he read an email from an old girlfriend whose Mom’s boyfriend knows a lab assistant that said manufacturing new gifts releases more carbon trioxide into the environment which has created a massive tidal wave of Arctic runoff that is heading towards Florida and is going to come ashore next Wednesday.<\/p>\n

So we did our part.<\/p>\n

Not to worry, the kids won’t be disappointed! They’re all getting their own Starter Kits for Change<\/a>! Wait ’till all their little friends see this!<\/p>\n

…a super-cool, eco-friendly, gift that keeps on giving! Packed full of green goodies that include a recycled, reusable tote bag, and arbor day tree seedling or “tree in a box”, fair trade hot chocolate, a treeless journal, soduku booklet, compact fluorescent light bulb, gratitude cards, and an envelope to end hunger.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fun! Yay!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here at the Hopey Changey Roosh household, we are concerned for the environment too. We’re all wearing Green to celebrate the coming rescue by Brrr Ack! Obanana of our besieged Mother Earth. After reading Mitch’s alarming post, I convened an ad hoc family symposium! Starting today, we only turn on our L.E.D. Christmas (er – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":228,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61,58,51],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-global-warmingcoolingchange","category-humor","category-liberal-tyranny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/228"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3872\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}