(SCENE: MITCH is driving down Thomas Avenue in Saint Paul, heading for the glamorous part of the street, when his phone rings.\u00a0 He looks; the Caller ID on the screen says “Avery LIBRELLE”).<\/p>\n
MITCH:\u00a0 (Sotto voce<\/em>) Criminy.\u00a0 Not Avery again.<\/p>\n (MITCH picks up the phone):\u00a0 Hello?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: Mitch?\u00a0 I need you to come down to the courthouse and bail me out of jail.<\/p>\n MITCH:\u00a0\u00a0 Jail? Huh?\u00a0 What happened?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Well, Mitch, I shot a gun.\u00a0 At a person.<\/p>\n MITCH:\u00a0 Huh?\u00a0 You hate guns.\u00a0 You are a gun-control activist.\u00a0 You don’t even own a gun…<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 It was one of yours.<\/p>\n MITCH:\u00a0 Back up.\u00a0 What?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 It was your gun.<\/p>\n MITCH:\u00a0\u00a0(Visiblly confused, pulling his car over to the curb in front of\u00a0the “Prada On Thomas” boutique)\u00a0 OK, this\u00a0is getting weird.\u00a0 How did you get a gun from me?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0I was at your house.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0WHAT?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0I needed some coconut oil, so I used that key that you used to leave hidden outside for your kids.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0What the…that disappeared years ago.<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0Yeah, but you weren’t using it.<\/p>\n MITCH:\u00a0 Well, not right at that moment, because I was at work<\/em>.<\/p>\n LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Well, it was for A Better Minnesota. \u00a0Anyway – we’re getting side-tracked here. \u00a0 I was digging through your pantry when I saw a couple of people cutting through your neighbor’s yard. \u00a0I hate it when people do that, so I figured I’d send them a message.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0(Pulled over to the side of the road) \u00a0You WHAT?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0I opened your gun safe and took out that little cowboy gun. \u00a0I figured I’d send a message.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Oh, for the love of…my .22 revolver?<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0Whatever. \u00a0I figure that sending a message<\/em> would punish them. \u00a0So I went out on your back stoop and yelled “NEVER WALK THROUGH PEOPLES’ YARDS AGAIN!”, and pointed the gun sort of at them, but not very close, and squeezed the trigger.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0I…I…I can’t believe this…<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0 Either could I. \u00a0The “Kick”, I think you call it, almost broke my hand.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0So to warn off someone walking through a back yard…<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0Yep<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0…that was not mine…<\/p>\n LIBRELLE: \u00a0Yep.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0…you broke into my house, took my gun, and shot at them?<\/p>\n