{"id":36949,"date":"2013-06-26T07:26:27","date_gmt":"2013-06-26T12:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=36949"},"modified":"2020-09-20T21:37:51","modified_gmt":"2020-09-21T02:37:51","slug":"one-day-at-dfl-headquarters-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=36949","title":{"rendered":"One Day At DFL Headquarters"},"content":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0At the DFL headquarters, on Plato Boulevard in Saint Paul. \u00a0Chairman Ken MARTIN is sitting in his office.<\/p>\n

(Carrie LUCKING of the Alliance for a Better Minnesota walks in. \u00a0MARTIN springs to attention, salutes).<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0As you were. \u00a0 \u00a0(MARTIN sits as LUCKING settles into an overstuffed leather recliner)<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0So what’s going on?<\/p>\n

MARTIN: \u00a0Well, we’re hitting the GOP over their War on Womym, we’re telling Minnesotans that taxing the 1% will make them taller and smarter, and…<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0That’s not what I mean, and you know it.<\/p>\n

MARTIN: Beg pardon?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Beavis is at it again.<\/p>\n

MARTIN: \u00a0Beavis? \u00a0You mean Represntative Winkler?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Yes. \u00a0His tweet yesterday embarassed the party. \u00a0Summon Bakk and Thissen.<\/p>\n

MARTIN: \u00a0Summon Bakk and Thissen!<\/p>\n

(Tom BAKK and Paul THISSEN enter the room. \u00a0They stand attention and salute LUCKING, who returns the salute. \u00a0They remain standing).<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Explain!<\/p>\n

(BAKK smirks at THISSEN with a look of badly-concealed contempt).<\/p>\n

THISSEN: \u00a0I don’t know, your highness.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Doesn’t he know he must clear all utterances with me before making them?<\/p>\n

THISSEN: \u00a0Yes, your highness. \u00a0Normally calling black conservatives racist names is perfectly acceptable.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Right. \u00a0But not this time. \u00a0How about the media?<\/p>\n

BAKK: \u00a0Only Rupar<\/a> has written about it so far.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Who gave him permission?<\/p>\n

THISSEN: \u00a0Nobody that I know of. \u00a0But it’s mostly been damage control so far, so it should be OK.<\/p>\n

BAKK: \u00a0And Michelle Malkin and Dana Loesch.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: Who?<\/p>\n

BAKK: \u00a0The Filipina Pole-Dancer and some chick who probably boffed Grover Norquist to get a job.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Ah.<\/p>\n

(Through the window, we see Ryan WINKLER walking toward the door. \u00a0He’s singing Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back”).<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Let’s get his explanation.<\/p>\n

(WINKLER walks into room, salutes LUCKING – who doesn’t return salute. He awkwardly releases salute…)<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Your highness?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Explain yourself. \u00a0 You tweeted\u00a0this<\/em>\u00a0yesterday:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Well, in my defense, I didn’t know “Uncle Tom” was racist.<\/p>\n

BAKK: \u00a0What? \u00a0It’s up there with the “N”-bomb! A white guy using a term to refer to a black guy as a cringing, servile piece of chattel?<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Well, there’s some debate about that.<\/p>\n

BAKK: \u00a0Not in like 150 years.<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Well, my bad. \u00a0And since when is it bad to bag on oreos who vote Republican?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0That’s immaterial. \u00a0What the hell else\u00a0<\/em>have you been writing? (Takes out pearl-encrusted iPhone, starts flipping through WINKLER’s twitter account) Oh, what the hell…:<\/p>\n

And if Virginia wants a battle flag back from their war to defend slavery, they can march to Minnesota and take it.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Ryan Winkler (@RepRyanWinkler) June 25, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

WINKLER: What?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: The Civil War’s been over for nearly fifty years.<\/p>\n

THISSEN: \u00a0At least! \u00a0And the ACLU won!<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Look – give me your Blackberry. \u00a0I need to see what else you’ve got in your Drafts. \u00a0(WINKLER hands over phone).<\/p>\n

LUCKING (Flips through phone): \u00a0Wait – calling Representative Hillstrom “Screechy McMenstrual?”<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Is that bad?<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Yes!<\/p>\n

WINKLER: But she was derailing Representative Martens’ gun bill!<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Thanks be to Alida that never went out.<\/p>\n

THISSEN (quietly): \u00a0Still, you save that sort of thing for\u00a0Republican<\/em>\u00a0lawmakers. \u00a0Like Tara Mack or Mary Franson.<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Ah. \u00a0Point taken.<\/p>\n

LUCKING: \u00a0Didn’t you learn anything at Harvard Law School? \u00a0 I mean, the school that great minds like Laurence Tribe and Alan Dershowitz teach at?<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0Dershowitz? \u00a0Ah! \u00a0Good ol’ Schlomo the Money-Grubbing Skinflint!<\/p>\n

(LUCKING, BAKK and THISSEN glare at WINKLER)<\/p>\n

WINKLER: \u00a0What? \u00a0 Wait – that, too? \u00a0You gotta be kidding…<\/p>\n

(And SCENE)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE: \u00a0At the DFL headquarters, on Plato Boulevard in Saint Paul. \u00a0Chairman Ken MARTIN is sitting in his office. (Carrie LUCKING of the Alliance for a Better Minnesota walks in. \u00a0MARTIN springs to attention, salutes). LUCKING: \u00a0As you were. \u00a0 \u00a0(MARTIN sits as LUCKING settles into an overstuffed leather recliner) LUCKING: \u00a0So what’s going on? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[321,323,20,320,18],"tags":[115,236,213],"class_list":["post-36949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-big-left","category-big-leftymoney","category-democrats","category-mndfl","category-pc","tag-abm","tag-dramatization","tag-winkler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36949"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36949\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49722,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36949\/revisions\/49722"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}