{"id":36245,"date":"2013-05-10T07:00:55","date_gmt":"2013-05-10T12:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=36245"},"modified":"2013-05-10T08:49:24","modified_gmt":"2013-05-10T13:49:24","slug":"top-ten-benefits-of-same-sex-marriage-passing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=36245","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Benefits Of Same Sex Marriage Passing"},"content":{"rendered":"

So after yesterday’s passage in the House, it looks like gay marriage is a shoo-in. \u00a0The Senate will pass it like diarrhea through a bum’s lower GI tract, and Governor Messinger will sign it, possibly by Tuesday.<\/p>\n

I’ve said it a million times; gay marriage means different things to me. \u00a0As a small-l libertarian, I don’t know that there’s\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0a case for allowing two consenting adults to sign a contract. \u00a0As a Christian, I think same-sex marriage is like playing tennis without rackets; it sort of misses the point of what marriage is, at least as I understand it. \u00a0\u00a0As a member of a political minority in a place where the majority is deeply authoritarian, I think it’s just a matter of time before the state’s bureaucracy and an aggressive and recession-ravaged plaintiff’s bar starts suing people – photographers, bakers, tailors – who won’t work with gay couples, and eventually churches that demur. \u00a0 As a divorced guy, I think “what the f**k are you gays thinking? \u00a0Gays have more disposable income per capita than breeders; a few years of exposure to the legal industry should bring you back down to earth”.<\/p>\n

But this post isn’t about bad news. \u00a0This post is about finding the bright side of gay marriage in Minnesota.<\/p>\n

To wit: \u00a0the Top Ten Benefits of Same Sex Marriage’s eventual enactment:<\/p>\n

Bonanza!<\/strong>: My friends in the Family Law business are going to be able to upgrade their vacation plans! \u00a0Gays currently earn more than breeders, per capita; that’ll change now.<\/p>\n

Won’t Bakk Down!<\/strong>:The DFL loses a wedge issue; since gays can now marry, the DFL is going to have to find another small, aggrieved, but wealthy and influential minority with an injustice to flog. \u00a0They don’t grow on trees.<\/p>\n

The Honeymoon Is Over, And Cost A Metric Poo-ton!<\/strong>: \u00a0Gays can stop futzing over “Marriage” and start wondering where the hell all their tax money is going. \u00a0Now that their value as a wedge is nearly exhausted (“bullying” is going to play out pretty quick, here), it’ll be time for Gay Minnesota to figure out its political future.<\/p>\n

The Battle Is Over, And We’re In A Metric Poo-Ton Of Doo-Doo!<\/strong>: \u00a0Republicans can stop futzing with marriage and start wondering where in the all their tax money and their political future is.<\/p>\n

Walk On The Wild Side!<\/strong>: \u00a0Now, committed middle-class Christians can start learning civil disobedience, ignoring state marriage licensing.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Snap Back To Reality!<\/strong>: \u00a0Whatever social costs may be related to gay marriage, at least we’ll be able to bring an end to the deeply stupid meme of the “Magic Gay Couple”. \u00a0You know the meme; they’re more loving, more stable, better parents, just plain\u00a0better people\u00a0<\/em>than all of us breeders. \u00a0And truth be told, there may have been something to that; since gay couples need to adopt to have kids (until a future lawsuit fixes all that defective biology), they have to show the various adoption bureaucracies that they are indeed better than the average couple. \u00a0I’ll give them – and even breeder couples that adopt – that much. \u00a0But now that any Tom, Dick and Harry can marry (but only two at a time, for now!), maybe gay couples will be relieved of the burden of having to be perfect, and start racking up domestics and walking through the line at Walmart<\/del> Kowalski’s in sweatpants and a greasy t-shirt at 2AM like the rest of us mere mortals.<\/div>\n

Let’s Play Football!<\/strong>: \u00a0Chris Kluwe can get so focused on his punting now.<\/p>\n

Back Of The Bus!<\/strong>: \u00a0The African-American community – which was even less favorably disposed to gay marriage than the mainstream white evangelical community – now has further evidence that the DFL wants them to shut up and sit at the back of the bus until they’re called on – on election day.<\/p>\n

Honesty Can Prevail!<\/strong>: \u00a0The DFL can stop pretending to care about gays. The Teamsters and SEIU can go back to beating them up like back in the day.<\/p>\n

A Learning Opportunity!<\/strong>: \u00a0The interesting thing about this debate was that the best debating\u00a0<\/em>on the behalf\u00a0<\/em>of gay marriage was done by libertarian conservatives, who made the libertarian and, to a degree, conservative case that there’s no reason to keep consenting adults out a contractual system that the other 98% of the the population gets. \u00a0The left’s argument – especially on the “Lefty Street”, the thousands of “progressive” bobbleheads who turned out to chant and eventually vote – ran more along the lines of “you are teh bigot!”. \u00a0So now that they’ve won, perhaps the left can put some of that extra energy into teaching their young adherents the rudiments of logic. \u00a0Unless, of course, having masses of stupid, smug, ignorant, sloganeering, chanting-bot followers is exactly what they want.<\/p>\n

Hmmm.<\/p>\n

So congrats, gays!<\/p>\n

CORRECTION: \u00a0House, not Senate. \u00a0You seen one group of extreme liberal dogmatists, you’ve seen ’em all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So after yesterday’s passage in the House, it looks like gay marriage is a shoo-in. \u00a0The Senate will pass it like diarrhea through a bum’s lower GI tract, and Governor Messinger will sign it, possibly by Tuesday. I’ve said it a million times; gay marriage means different things to me. \u00a0As a small-l libertarian, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war","category-minnesota-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36245"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36256,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36245\/revisions\/36256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}