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<\/p>\nSCENE: \u00a0Adriana and Michael GONZALES, age 30 and 32, owners of a small family commercial cleaning business and parents of three children, are walking through the woods near Minnehaha Park. \u00a0It’s foggy and foreboding.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
ADRIANA: Mike, did you see something in the woods?<\/p>\n
MICHAEL: \u00a0Yeah. \u00a0Looks like – guys in helmets?<\/p>\n
ADRIANA: \u00a0This is weird.<\/p>\n
MICHAEL: \u00a0No kidding…<\/p>\n
(They stop, noticing three people in medieval knight costumes – Tom BAKK, Ryan WINKLER and Heather MARTENS – astride the path).<\/p>\n
MICHAEL: \u00a0Er, who are you?<\/p>\n
BAKK: \u00a0We are the Knights Who Say “Living Wage!”<\/p>\n
WINKER: \u00a0We are three elected representatives…<\/p>\n
(BAKK nudges WINKLER, points toward Martens, who is gazing distractedly at a squirrel. WINKLER shrugs)<\/p>\n
WINKLER: …who roam the forest spreading social justice!<\/p>\n
(MICHAEL and ADRIANA shrug)<\/p>\n
WINKLER: \u00a0If you wish to pass through this forest, you must appease us!<\/p>\n
ADRIANA: \u00a0Er…OK? \u00a0With what?<\/p>\n
WINKLER: \u00a0You must hire…a\u00a0Minimum Wage Employee<\/em>!<\/p>\n MICHAEL: \u00a0Cool. \u00a0I was hoping to do that. \u00a0We’ve got more business than the two of us can handle.<\/p>\n BAKK: Silence<\/em>?<\/p>\n MICHAEL: Huh?<\/p>\n WINKLER: \u00a0You must pay them…nine dollars per hour!<\/p>\n ADRIANA: \u00a0Oh, no. \u00a0We just need people to do basic cleaning. \u00a0We can pay a bonus, but it’s not worth $9 an hour…<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0And you may not cut your other employees’ hours or benefits to pay the training wage rate, which is itself higher than the federal minimum wage!<\/p>\n WINKLER: \u00a0Or lay them off!<\/p>\n BAKK and MARTENS: Or lay them off!<\/p>\n ADRIANA: \u00a0Well, then we just can’t hire anyone!<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0Be happy to pay for a Better Minnesota!<\/p>\n ADRIANA (to MARTENS): So what are you doing here?<\/p>\n MARTENS: \u00a0Guns on a bed of escarole make a wonderful snack. \u00a0So much better than killing people!<\/p>\n (Sounds in distance: \u00a0Minstrels playing over the clip clop of horses, as Governor DAYTON, riding a white charger, appears at the head of a retinue of knights and minstrels.<\/p>\n MINSTREL (as lutes and flutes play in the background) Brave Sir Mark ran away \/ bravely ran away away! \/ When terror made its presence known, he bravely turned and scampered home…<\/p>\n DAYTON: Blargle not blargle sure blargle not blargle blargle!<\/p>\n MICHAEL to ADRIANA (whispers): This is a weird place…<\/p>\n MINSTREL: He wasn’t afraid to face Roger Goodell \/ or tell Alida she’s not so swell \/ brave brave brave brave sir Mark…<\/p>\n DAYTON: \u00a0Blargle! \u00a0Blargle not blarg!<\/p>\n MICHAEL : So what if I can’t afford it?<\/p>\n WINKLER: \u00a0It’s against the law! \u00a0Don’t ask questions!<\/p>\n ADRIANA: \u00a0We could just take our business to North Dakota!<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0Hah! \u00a0And for what? \u00a0Money?<\/p>\n DAYTON: Blargle!<\/p>\n MICHAEL: \u00a0Well…yeah!<\/p>\n WINKLER: \u00a0But you can’t get MPR in North Dakota!<\/p>\n ADRIANA: \u00a0Yes, I can – we paid for that, too.<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0But in Minnesota, you will soon have unionized daycare!<\/p>\n ADRIANA: \u00a0I like the daycare we have just fine.<\/p>\n WINKLER: \u00a0But you can pay more for them!<\/p>\n MARTENS: \u00a0It’s a known fact that daycare that costs more is better for children. \u00a0Especially if you ban guns.<\/p>\n MICHAEL: \u00a0What the…?<\/p>\n DAYTON: Blargle blargle!<\/p>\n ADRIANA (pulling a Texas brochure from her purse and looking at MICHAEL): \u00a0This is a silly place.<\/p>\n The couple walk past the jabbering knights.<\/p>\n And SCENE.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SCENE: \u00a0Adriana and Michael GONZALES, age 30 and 32, owners of a small family commercial cleaning business and parents of three children, are walking through the woods near Minnehaha Park. \u00a0It’s foggy and foreboding. ADRIANA: Mike, did you see something in the woods? MICHAEL: \u00a0Yeah. \u00a0Looks like – guys in helmets? ADRIANA: \u00a0This is weird. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[236,283,213],"class_list":["post-34632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chanting-points-memo","tag-dramatization","tag-minimum-wage","tag-winkler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34632"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34632\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41984,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34632\/revisions\/41984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}