SCENE: \u00a0MITCH is walking down Constitution Avenue, near the state capitol. \u00a0It’s a bright, bright, sunshiny day. \u00a0Detached-looking figures wander, aimlessly and slightly out of focus, in the distance.<\/p>\n
(Aaron ROSTON, DFL activist, pro-bullying-activist and blogger from Fungus Flats, MN, is standing in the middle of the sidewalk).<\/p>\n
MITCH (stepping around ROSTON): \u00a0Excuse me.<\/p>\n
ROSTON (with supercharged sarcasm): \u00a0Oh, yeah, right. \u00a0You’re\u00a0so\u00a0<\/em>excused.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Huh?<\/p>\n ROSTON: \u00a0Oh, right. \u00a0I just \u00a0bet<\/em>\u00a0you don’t understand me.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0O…K…<\/p>\n (Walks onward)<\/p>\n Professor William G. KRIEPPI staggers into the frame as MITCH walks down the street.<\/p>\n MITCH: Hey, Professor.<\/p>\n (KRIEPPI abruptly lurches off the street, walks into a light pole, and falls, insensible, onto the grass, unconscious).<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Damn. \u00a0Hey… (turns to passing figure, who turns out to be Dark MAYTON, billionaire playboy political consultant), er, can you help this guy?<\/p>\n MAYTON: \u00a0The moon is made of olives and I am pulsating.<\/p>\n MITCH (watches as MAYTON walks down the sidewalk. \u00a0KRIEPPI snores loudly on the grass). \u00a0What a very strange place.<\/p>\n ROSTON: \u00a0Oh, yeah. So\u00a0<\/em>strange…<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Good lord, you’re a wierd little person.<\/p>\n (MITCH walks toward the Capitol, \u00a0He is presently accosted by a shadowy figure – that of PLARF BINGNERT, chief project manager in the Rhetorical Engineering department at \u00a0the Alliance for a Better Minnesota).<\/p>\n BINGNERT: \u00a0Mister Berg, why do you do these curious dialogues? \u00a0It’s almost as if you are trying to say something.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Well, usually, yes – but I feel as if this one has gotten out of control. \u00a0It’s like…<\/p>\n BINGNERT: WOOOOT WOOOOOOOOT WOOOOOOOT WOOOOOOOOP WOOOP WOOOOP WOOOOOP!<\/p>\n MITCH (sotto voce<\/em>): What the hell?<\/p>\n ROSTON (in distance, walking in tight circle): \u00a0Oh, yeah – Mr. Family Values, using swears. \u00a0That’s\u00a0so\u00a0<\/em>“family”.\u00a0<\/p>\n (BINGNERT wanders aimlessly away). \u00a0Po di po di po di po!<\/p>\n (MITCH wanders to the base of the capitol steps, sits on the base of the plinth of one of the statues of the Heroes of Minnesota Social Democracy). \u00a0<\/p>\n (Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, narrative-buffer for “Alliance for a Better Minnesota”, dressed in Lederhosen and Doc Martens boots, rappels down from a bright orange helicopter).\u00a0<\/p>\n CARROLL (yelling shrilly through a megaphone): \u00a0HEY! \u00a0The GOP wants to sell your children!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0No, they don’t.\u00a0<\/p>\n CARROLL (still yelling): \u00a0The GOP wants to run Minnesota from Mississippi!<\/p>\n MITCH: That’s just bizarre.<\/p>\n CARROLL (still yelling): They want to feed your children assault rifles!<\/p>\n MITCH: That just makes no sense.<\/p>\n ROSTON (yelling from middle of lawn): \u00a0Oh, yeah – Democrats\u00a0never\u00a0<\/em>make sense, do they, Merg?<\/p>\n MITCH (sotto voce<\/em>): \u00a0If I say “that’s a fascinating point”, will you go away?<\/p>\n (CARROLL wanders into the distance, shouting random accusations into the bullhorn. \u00a0As she and her din recede into the distance, a\u00a0man dressed in a large purple rabbit costume hops laboriously up the sidewalk and stops in front of MITCH).\u00a0<\/p>\n RABBIT: \u00a0Hi. \u00a0I’m Wyatt RINKLER. \u00a0You only do these fantasy dialogues because you are afraid. \u00a0And having a melt-down. \u00a0<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Well, no. \u00a0<\/p>\n RINKLER: \u00a0I’m too stupid to understand what you just said.\u00a0<\/p>\n ROSTON (suddenly up close): \u00a0Oh, we’re\u00a0all<\/em>\u00a0too stupid, says Merg. \u00a0<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0(shakes head, as if to shake off a sucker punch) \u00a0Beg pardon?<\/p>\n RINKLER: \u00a0Yarby yarby yarby.<\/p>\n (RINKLER hops away into the distance, disappears over the horizon). \u00a0(Yes, a hoppable horizon is unaccountably visible from the Capitol. \u00a0Go figure).\u00a0<\/p>\n MITCH (walks up steps to Capitol doors. \u00a0ROSTON follows at a distance, making sarcastic-sounding noises that never quite resolve into words). \u00a0<\/p>\n MITCH (looking out over city): \u00a0Wow. \u00a0It must have been the burrito.<\/p>\n (From the Capitol comes an ephemeral shape, that of Cat SCAT, factoid bookkeeper for Take Action MN).<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Hey. \u00a0Nice day, huh?<\/p>\n SCAT: \u00a0I’ll check to see what\u00a0Daily Kos\u00a0<\/em>says.<\/p>\n ROSTON (muted in the distance): Oh, yeah –\u00a0so\u00a0<\/em>nice!<\/p>\n MITCH (past caring): \u00a0So does\u00a0Kos\u00a0<\/em>confirm?<\/p>\n SCAT: \u00a0Can you confirm that this dialog actually happened?<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0I can confirm that it did not actually happen. \u00a0It’s entirely a figment of my imagination.<\/p>\n SCAT: \u00a0So it’s a lie!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0No. \u00a0It’s fiction. \u00a0Fiction illustrates, via storytelling, symbolism, metaphor, satire, humor and other devices, things that non-fiction writing can’t. \u00a0<\/p>\n (Senator Tom BAKK and speaker of the House Paul THISSEN walk out Capitol doors)<\/p>\n SCAT: \u00a0So you admit it’s false?<\/p>\n ROSTON (on sidewalk, dousing self in strawberry milkshakes): Oh, Merg is\u00a0never\u00a0<\/em>false!<\/p>\n (BAKK and THISSEN pick MITCH’s pocket, replace wallet with a “Happy To Pay For A Better Minnesota” leaflet)<\/p>\n MITCH (ignoring ROSTON): \u00a0Irrelevant. \u00a0It’s neither “True” nor “False”. \u00a0It’s fictional, so it’s made up – but it can show what I reasonably believe to be larger truths. \u00a0Or not. \u00a0Sometimes satire is parody, sometimes caricature. \u00a0Sometimes it’s just plain absurdist, with the perceived truths buried beneath a heaping pile of misdirection. Sometimes it’s just mockery.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n SCAT: \u00a0That’s just wrong.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Wrong? \u00a0You mean, like a liberal TV star pretending to be an over the top caricature of a conservative TV star to satirize conservatives and our alt-media?\u00a0<\/p>\n SCAT (looks at at “Crooks and Liars” on IPad, is silent)<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Er…Steven Colbert?<\/p>\n SCAT (Dissolves into the ether)<\/p>\n ROSTON (yells at passing teenage girl): Hey! \u00a0My sister had capris like that – until my dad got a job! \u00a0Who does your hair – Stevie Wonder?<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Wow. \u00a0Imagine if they’d\u00a0lost\u00a0<\/em>the election. \u00a0<\/p>\n (Walks to parking lot. \u00a0Gives leaflet to attendant. \u00a0Drives off into sunset).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SCENE: \u00a0MITCH is walking down Constitution Avenue, near the state capitol. \u00a0It’s a bright, bright, sunshiny day. \u00a0Detached-looking figures wander, aimlessly and slightly out of focus, in the distance. (Aaron ROSTON, DFL activist, pro-bullying-activist and blogger from Fungus Flats, MN, is standing in the middle of the sidewalk). MITCH (stepping around ROSTON): \u00a0Excuse me. ROSTON […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,2],"tags":[115,236],"class_list":["post-32002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs","category-minnesota-politics","tag-abm","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32002"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47903,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32002\/revisions\/47903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}