{"id":31701,"date":"2012-11-09T07:29:28","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T13:29:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=31701"},"modified":"2012-11-09T07:29:28","modified_gmt":"2012-11-09T13:29:28","slug":"everything-you-need-to-know-about-last-tuesdays-election-p-j-orourke-wrote-in-1991","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=31701","title":{"rendered":"Everything You Need To Know About Last Tuesday’s Election, P. J. O’Rourke Wrote In 1991"},"content":{"rendered":"

From\u00a0Parliament of Whores<\/em>:<\/p>\n

I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.<\/p>\n

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.<\/p>\n

Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was “Protect your lady parts” vs. “Er, that sure is a lot of debt to rack up with all those entitlements to pay”.<\/p>\n

Two of the most annoying things about talking with liberals for this last three days (also last 15 years):<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. How many of them think the January “fiscal cliff” and sequestration are the\u00a0real\u00a0financial time bomb<\/li>\n
  2. How many of them, when asked what we do about all the debt Obama is racking up, and how much more of it he plans to rack up, seem to think that “Bush did it too!” is an answer.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Thank God – both the real one and O’Rourke’s – for the House of Representatives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    From\u00a0Parliament of Whores: I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campaign-12"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31701"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31702,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31701\/revisions\/31702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}