{"id":3000,"date":"2008-08-05T06:18:39","date_gmt":"2008-08-05T11:18:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=3000"},"modified":"2008-08-05T07:12:16","modified_gmt":"2008-08-05T12:12:16","slug":"mac-knows-wwwtrite-pinheadcom-just-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=3000","title":{"rendered":"Mac Knows “www.trite-pinhead.com” Just Fine"},"content":{"rendered":"

1972: Nixon wins in a landslide. Pauline Kael: “How could we win? Nobody I <\/em>know voted for him!”<\/p>\n

2008: Hypothetically, John McCain wins. Macintosh\/Twitter\/MyFace\/AppleCrack users: “But he doesn’t even use Safari<\/a>!”<\/p>\n

Y’see, he’s older<\/em> than a lot of candidates. He’s not a real computer <\/em>guy. At an age when most of Obama’s latte-guzzling Mac-toting Twitter-tweeting audaciously-hoping e-advisors were learning how to put video on SpaceBook, he was learning how to fly an A4 Skyhawk<\/a> and lead men into harm’s way. About the age most of the too-cool-for-Starbucks crowd was getting burned out on Match.com, Mac was getting his hands hammered flat by NVA goons which, lemme tell you, is hell <\/em>on your texting speed.<\/p>\n

Oh, he’s making tentative moves toward the online crowd – but to some of that particular pack of hamsters…:<\/p>\n

His efforts have won him brutal derision from the online left.<\/p>\n

\u201cMcCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet,\u201d Obama-backing satirist Andy Borowitz headlined one imagined dispatch.<\/p>\n

\u201cSen. McCain said that he had embarked on his visit to the Internet to allay any fears that he is too out-of-touch to be president, adding that he plans to take additional steps to demonstrate that he is comfortable with today’s technology: \u2018In the days and weeks ahead, you will be seeing me rock out with my new Walkman,\u2019\u201d Borowitz wrote.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Show of hands; anyone who gives a crap?<\/p>\n

I mean, anyone who actually pays taxes and doesn’t think Che Guevara was sexy and heroic?<\/p>\n

I thought so.<\/p>\n

Others have been less gentle.<\/p>\n

After a spokesperson told The Associated Press that McCain is \u201cfully capable of browsing the Internet and checking Web sites,\u201d a front-page diarist on DailyKos sneered: \u201cI hope someone gave him a cookie.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And if we were looking for someone who could out-twitter Ahmadinejad, that’d mean a whole lot to me.<\/p>\n

But we’re not, and it doesn’t, and as a side note to anyone who docks a candidate any points for being ten years behind the online fashion curve, I’m going to refer you to www.whogivesacrapyoutriteslapnuts.com.<\/p>\n

Consider yourself s3rv3d, pwn3d and, what the hell, v@nqui$h3d.<\/p>\n

LO friggin’ L.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1972: Nixon wins in a landslide. Pauline Kael: “How could we win? Nobody I know voted for him!” 2008: Hypothetically, John McCain wins. Macintosh\/Twitter\/MyFace\/AppleCrack users: “But he doesn’t even use Safari!” Y’see, he’s older than a lot of candidates. He’s not a real computer guy. At an age when most of Obama’s latte-guzzling Mac-toting Twitter-tweeting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campaign-08","category-geekery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3000"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3000\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}