To:\u00a0 Jesse Ventura, ex-governor and “celebrity”<\/p>\n
From: Mitch Berg, Average Schlemiel<\/p>\n
Re: Senate Bid<\/p>\n
Dear “Governor” Ventura,<\/p>\n
One minute you’re running<\/a>; the next, you’re not<\/a>.\u00a0 It’s almost like you’re arguing with The Crusher or Vern Gagne or Vince McMahon [1] or someone.<\/p>\n Let me help you settle this.<\/p>\n Run.\u00a0 Run, Jesse, Run.\u00a0<\/p>\n Run for Senate.\u00a0 Please.<\/p>\n Ten years ago, in a simpler and more trite era, it was easy to convince people that you were a populist, libertarian\/conservative everyman.\u00a0 Back before you actually had to govern (“Govern”?\u00a0 Whatever), you could make yourself out to be whatever you wanted to look like; like every third party candidate, you could wrap ideals around you like they were so many pink feather boas.<\/p>\n Of course, then you got into office.\u00a0 And that “deer in the headlights” look you got on election night 1998 morphed into you turning into a sock puppet for Dean Barkley and Tim Penny and, eventually – to deal with the fact that you had no party supporting\u00a0 you in the legislature – ran to Roger Moe like a new, boyish-looking blond inmate cuddling up to a big bruiser inmate for protection.<\/p>\n But we know you today, Mr. Ventura. Some of us know you way too well.\u00a0<\/p>\n We know that you, like your “party”, are DFL lite.\u00a0 To Democrats, who might prefer a trite, vapor-light, paper-thin devil they know to a trite, vacuous devil they don’t, that might be a sell over Franken.\u00a0 To Republicans?\u00a0 You had some of us fooled ten years ago; they’re not biting anymore<\/a>.<\/p>\n Oh, and you’re a 9\/11 Truther.\u00a0 That appeals entirely to…well, you<\/a> know<\/a> who<\/a>.\u00a0 Indeed, the numbers show, so far, that you will draw more voters from Franken<\/a> than Coleman.<\/p>\n So please, Jesse.\u00a0 Run.\u00a0 I beg of you.\u00a0 Let’s make this electoral season even more humiliating for Al Franken.<\/p>\n That is all.<\/p>\n [1] What?\u00a0 None of these names were current when you were in “wrestling”?\u00a0 Sorry – I guess I had a brain<\/em> and didn’t pay any attention at the time.\u00a0 Sorry.\u00a0 Not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" To:\u00a0 Jesse Ventura, ex-governor and “celebrity” From: Mitch Berg, Average Schlemiel Re: Senate Bid Dear “Governor” Ventura, One minute you’re running; the next, you’re not.\u00a0 It’s almost like you’re arguing with The Crusher or Vern Gagne or Vince McMahon [1] or someone. Let me help you settle this. Run.\u00a0 Run, Jesse, Run.\u00a0 Run for Senate.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,20],"tags":[249],"class_list":["post-2844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campaign-08","category-democrats","tag-open-letters"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2844"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33697,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844\/revisions\/33697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}