SCENE: \u00a0MITCH is talking with Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, a meme-buffer at Alliance For A Better Minnesota, at a Cathedral Hill bar.<\/p>\n
CARROLL is sitting at a table with an empty martini glass, sipping a cosmpolitan from a second as MITCH approaches.<\/p>\n
CARROLL: \u00a0We have teh best election system in teh world!<\/p>\n
MITCH: \u00a0Um, OK – why do you say that?<\/p>\n
CARROLL: \u00a0Because we get teh most people to teh polls!<\/p>\n
MITCH: Well, OK – that’s cool as far as it goes, but if a significant number of those “people” at the polls are duplicate voters, or voters who aren’t supposed to be voting, then each of those votes negates the vote of someone who is <\/em>entitled to vote, and only votes one time.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0That never happens in Minnesota.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Well, it’s been proven to happen. \u00a0The Minnesota Majority has brought hundreds of cases of felons voting and other people who weren’t supposed to vote to the Ramsey County Attorney, and gotten a few dozen election fraud convictions.<\/p>\n CARROLL: Only a few dozen of teh convictions! \u00a0Our system is teh PERFECT!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Well, no – because in Minnesota, unless you’re a paroled felon who hasn’t had is rights restored and who signed a piece of paper acknowledging you realize that not voting was part of your parole, pleading “I didn’t know” actually is considered an excuse. \u00a0And in every case, their votes were counted. \u00a0All of them. \u00a0 Oh, yeah – and they busted a group home shoveling four – so far – vulnerable adults through the polls during the 2010 elections. \u00a0They were using the handicapped to stuff the ballots. \u00a0A county attorney basically used a grand jury to whitewash the empirical fact that four adults who are under guardianship, and under Minnesota statute have no right to vote, were registered to vote and voted absentee – basically had their ballots filled out for them by group home employees. \u00a0 It’s full-blown corruption.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0So you want to disenfranchise teh\u00a0people!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Blah blah blah. \u00a0Another stupid manipulative strawman – but hey, you work for Alliance for a Better Minnesota, so pardon my redundancy. \u00a0Nope, untrue. \u00a0Every who is entitled to vote <\/em>should vote.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0Yabbut, what about teh elderly and students! \u00a020% of them don’t have IDs.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0OK, so two points, here. \u00a0For starters, isn’t it reasonable to ask people to assume a certain bare minimum of responsibility to exercise a franchise that over a million Americans have died defending? \u00a0And second: \u00a0all significant political parties have “get out the vote” efforts that make sure people get to the polls on election day. \u00a0So expand the effort to making sure people have IDs. \u00a0I mean, what – do I have to do all the thinking for you?<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0See! \u00a0You want to disenfranchise teh people!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Er, Lucky? \u00a0I just described exactly why I don’t.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0Yeah, but…where’s my cosmo?<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0In front of you.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0Thanks. \u00a0(Drains a cosmopolitan, waves down a waitress). \u00a0But none of that is necessary.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Um, what? \u00a0“None of that is necessary?” \u00a0I’ve just shown you where hundreds of people voted illegally – and I didn’t even get into the credible allegations that students were voting in Minnesota and, via absentee ballot, in their home jurisdictions.<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0But all of that is teh BS.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Um, why?<\/p>\n CARROLL: \u00a0Because we have teh best electoral system in teh world?<\/p>\n (WAITRESS appears at table)<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0She’ll have a cosmo. \u00a0I’ll have a double Laphraoig, neat.<\/p>\n WAITRESS: \u00a0Is she seeing unicorns again?<\/p>\n MITCH: You know it.<\/p>\n (And SCENE)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SCENE: \u00a0MITCH is talking with Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, a meme-buffer at Alliance For A Better Minnesota, at a Cathedral Hill bar. CARROLL is sitting at a table with an empty martini glass, sipping a cosmpolitan from a second as MITCH approaches. CARROLL: \u00a0We have teh best election system in teh world! MITCH: \u00a0Um, OK – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[119],"tags":[115,236],"class_list":["post-25986","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-election-integrity","tag-abm","tag-dramatization"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25986","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25986"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25986\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47855,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25986\/revisions\/47855"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25986"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25986"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25986"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}