![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/DFLMinistryofTruthLARGE.png\" "\\"DFLMinistryofTruthLARGE\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nLUCKNIG: \u00a0It’s a gorgeous day out there, isn’t it?<\/p>\n
FORSTER: \u00a0Um…(steals a glance out the window)…it’s below zero, and the wind is howling…<\/p>\n
LUCKING: \u00a0(Glares chillingly at FORSTER): \u00a0Why do you hate the children? \u00a0 I SAID it’s a beautiful day<\/em>.<\/p>\n FORSTER: \u00a0It’s a beautiful day. (She slumps silently into her seat, looking abashed).<\/p>\n (Deputy Director Joe DAVIS opens the door into the chamber)<\/p>\n DAVIS: \u00a0Our Board! \u00a0 Announcing Mr. Grebner, Mizz Beadle, Mizz Bergstrom, Mr. Elliott, Mister Blodgett, Mzz Lewis and Mister Goldfarb.<\/p>\n (Jon Grebner (AFSCME), \u00a0Kelly Beadle (America Votes), Greta Bergstrom (TakeAction) MN), Brian Elliot (SEIU), Jeff Blodgett (Win Minnesota), Connie Lewis (Planned Parenthood) and\u00a0Ben Goldfarb (Wellstone Action) file silently into the room. \u00a0 They file into small seats at small tables arranged \u00a0diagonally on either side of a central aisle).<\/p>\n (DAVIS again announces)<\/p>\n DAVIS: \u00a0Our legislative guests, Senator Bakk and Representatives Thissen and Dinkler!<\/p>\n (BAKK, THISSEN and WINKLER file into the room. \u00a0WINKLER steps over to DAVIS)<\/p>\n WINKLER: Um, it’s “Winkler”, not “Dinkler”.<\/p>\n LUCKING (leaping to her feet) SILENCE!<\/p>\n (DAVIS backhands WINKLER, who sits silently, rubbing a sore jaw)<\/p>\n DAVIS: \u00a0Womyn and Gentlemyn, Alita Messinger. \u00a0All rise!<\/em><\/p>\n (The doors swing open, and Alita Messinger enters the room, borne on a sedan chair carried by eight purple-shirted SEIU employees. \u00a0They maneuver careful up the aisle and set the sedan chair on the ground. \u00a0LUCKING motions to BAKK, THISSEN and WINKLER, who leap to their feet and lay on the ground between the sedan chair and the makeshift throne at the head table. \u00a0MESSINGER steps across them and takes her seat).<\/p>\n DAVIS: \u00a0You may be seated!<\/em><\/p>\n (All sit).<\/p>\n (Purple-jacketed Latino waiters maneuver through the room, filling glasses in front of each seat with a clear liquid).<\/p>\n (LUCKING rises)<\/p>\n LUCKING: \u00a0A toast! \u00a0To rigorous grassroots independence.<\/p>\n ALL (in unison): “To rigorous grassroots independence!”<\/p>\n DAVIS: \u00a0Miss Messinger, I present to you our new executive director, Carrie Lucking.<\/p>\n LUCKING: My name’s not Carrie Lucking.<\/p>\n FORSTER: Actually it is.<\/p>\n LUCKING: \u00a0Yes, it is. \u00a0Yes, Ma’am?<\/p>\n MESSINGER: \u00a0Very well, Mizz Lucking. \u00a0Proceed to the…<\/p>\n (MESSINGER glares at DAVIS). \u00a0Ahem.<\/p>\n (DAVIS grabs palm front, begins fanning MESSINGER)<\/p>\n MESSINGER: \u00a0Very well. \u00a0It reports on the progress!<\/p>\n LUCKING: \u00a0We are telling the people that a $3,000 one-time tax credit will create 25,000 jobs.<\/p>\n MESSINGER: \u00a0That’s absurd. \u00a0Only an idiot would believe that.<\/p>\n CARDINAL: Precisely! \u00a0It is useless and has no chance of passing – but if it gets voted down, we accuse the Republicans of killing jobs.<\/p>\n MESSINGER: \u00a0Only a moron would believe that.<\/p>\n LUCKING: \u00a0We know. \u00a0I even admitted as much on Almanac last week!<\/p>\n MESSINGER: \u00a0This is a campaign that could appeal only to morons.<\/p>\n (ALL are silent).<\/p>\n MESSINGER: And as your 2010 campaign showed, there are 8,000 more gullible morons than smart people in this state. \u00a0Well done! \u00a0You may kiss my ring.<\/p>\n (CARDINAL and LUCKING kneel at MESSINGER’S feet kissing her pinky ring as SCENE fades to black).<\/p>\n ———-<\/p>\n It’s almost time for another campaign season – which means it’s time for another wave of misleading, usually lying, always context-mangled propoaganda from “Alliance For A Better Minnesota” (ABM) – the people who brought you the false claims that “Target Hates Gays” and “Tom Emmer campaigned to reduce penalties for drunk drivers”.<\/p>\n The thesis is this: you can tell ABM is lying when their lips are moving or their fingers are touching keyboards.<\/p>\n And we will be dedicating a good chunk of this next nine months to making sure that none of ABM’s lies goes undebunked.<\/p>\n It’s gonna keep all of us conservative bloggers busy.<\/p>\n Stephanie Fenner<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Founding Director<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Denise Cardinal<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SCENE: \u00a0At the executive offices of the Alliance For A Better Minnesota. \u00a0Executive Director Carrie LUCKING sits near the center of the head table, next to an absurdly-large fake throne. \u00a0Her research director , Stephanie FORSTER, sits on the other side. LUCKNIG: \u00a0It’s a gorgeous day out there, isn’t it? FORSTER: \u00a0Um…(steals a glance out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189],"tags":[115,213],"class_list":["post-25713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minnesotas-ministry-of-truth","tag-abm","tag-winkler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25713"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25713\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25721,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25713\/revisions\/25721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}