I drove out to North Maplewood the other day to have a chat with some DFLer acquaintances of mine; \u00a0Stephen (never “Steve”) Plotznick-Hale, and his wife, Bella Plotznick-Hale-Rehavy. \u00a0Committed DFLers both, she is a social worker in the Maplewood school system, and he’s a grievance writer with the Department of Labor.<\/p>\n
They sat, dourly focused on their organic boxed wine, as I walked into the bar. \u00a0They were in no mood for small talk; they cut right to what passes for the chase.<\/p>\n
I’ll join the conversation there:<\/p>\n
STEPHEN: \u00a0This shutdown is ridiculous! \u00a0The GOP is obsessed with protecting the rich!<\/p>\n
MITCH: Well, no – the GOP Legislative caucuses are doing what they were sent to Saint Paul to do; oppose all <\/em>new taxes.<\/p>\n BELLA: But if we taxed the millionaires, we could solve <\/em>thish problem! \u00a0We could afford everything <\/em>that the Lezh…Ledge…Lesbolature sayzh we needed!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Well, Bella, funny you should say that. \u00a0Let’s ignore, for a moment, whether all that spending is needed, much less wise. and start by definining “millionaire”.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: Easy. \u00a0Someone with a net worth of a million bucks.<\/p>\n BELLA: YEAH! Shomeone with more money than…Jeeeeebuzh!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0OK. \u00a0Now, we’re talking income tax rates, here. \u00a0They don’t all make a million bucks; if we assume a million or more in net worth, we’re talking everyone from the CEO of United HealthGroup down to regular people who’ve invested very very wisely. \u00a0They may make $30 million a year, they may make $150K. \u00a0For purposes of this discussion, let’s say they make an average of half a million a year in income<\/em>.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0O…K… (takes another sip, fingers nervously drumming table).<\/p>\n BELLA: I’m gonna get a beer. (She sits motionless).<\/p>\n MITCH: OK. \u00a0So the first $200K in Adjusted Gross Income is taxed at the current top tier rate of 7.95%. \u00a0The rest of their income is taxed at 10.95%, as the Governor proposes. \u00a0 \u00a0We’ll hit all 7,700 of them.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0Exactly! \u00a0That’ll close the deficit.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Which is how much?<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0Five Billion dollars.<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Heh. \u00a0Not exactly. \u00a0Taxing “millionaires” according to Dayton’s plan, assuming an average income of half a mill a year, gives us a grand total of $375 million. \u00a0About six percent of the “Five Billion Dollar Deficit”.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0(Stares blankly)<\/p>\n MITCH: Of course, the Dayton rate was never going to stop at an AGI of $200K. \u00a0It was going to be more like $135.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0Yeah!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0In which case, assuming a half a million a year in income, we the people rake in a total of a little over $390 million.<\/p>\n BELLA: \u00a0Oh, you’re sho full of…(belches)…crap, Merg. \u00a0They all make a million bucksh a year!<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0OK. \u00a0Let’s say the average income for these 7,700 millionaires is a million dollars a year. \u00a0Applying the Dayton tax rate gets you a total of…<\/p>\n BELLA: \u00a0Eleventy billion dollars!<\/p>\n MITCH: Hah! \u00a0Bella, you rock! \u00a0No – it’s just shy of $797 million. \u00a0And if you start the surcharge at $135,000, the extra revenue jumps to $811 million.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0(Calculates frantically in his head) That’s, like, way less than five billion…<\/p>\n BELLA: \u00a0We should just TAKE IT AALLLLLL! \u00a0(Bella swoops into a face-plant on the floor).<\/p>\n MITCH: (after helping Stephen help Bella into her chair). \u00a0OK. \u00a0Let’s do that. \u00a0Let’s say we assume the average “millionaire” makes $500K a year, and we confiscate every penny above the $135,000 a year level – a 100% tax rate on the wealthy.<\/p>\n BELLA: (head down on table) Yeahhhh….<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0You get a total of $2.8 billion the first year – about half of the DFL Deficit. \u00a0And let’s say we assume the “millionaires” make a million a year apiece, and we confiscate everything over $135,000; the total we take in is $6.7 billion.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: \u00a0So you cover the deficit!<\/p>\n BELLA: \u00a0Yaaaay! (starts to vomit a bit in her throat)<\/p>\n MITCH: \u00a0Yeah – once.<\/p>\n STEPHEN: Well, that’s the Legislature’s problem, not mine! \u00a0Make it happen! \u00a0Eat the rich!<\/p>\n (Mitch grabs a mung rag and cleans up the expanding vomit slick under Bella’s passed-out head on the table).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I drove out to North Maplewood the other day to have a chat with some DFLer acquaintances of mine; \u00a0Stephen (never “Steve”) Plotznick-Hale, and his wife, Bella Plotznick-Hale-Rehavy. \u00a0Committed DFLers both, she is a social worker in the Maplewood school system, and he’s a grievance writer with the Department of Labor. 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