{"id":20048,"date":"2011-05-17T11:00:33","date_gmt":"2011-05-17T17:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=20048"},"modified":"2011-05-17T08:56:27","modified_gmt":"2011-05-17T14:56:27","slug":"one-day-at-mickeys-diner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=20048","title":{"rendered":"One Day At Mickey’s Diner"},"content":{"rendered":"

(SCENE: BUD OLSON and TREVOR PUCKETT, two City of Saint Paul Public Works employees, are having breakfast at Mickey’s Diner on West Seventh Street).<\/p>\n

WAITRESS: Here’s your coffee. \u00a0Pancakes’ll be up in a minute. \u00a0(Walks away).<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: \u00a0So you get that car for your daughter yet?<\/p>\n

OLSON: No. \u00a0I’ve been trying to find her one of them rice-burners, a Toyota or a Honda or a Mazda or somethin’. \u00a0Can’t find ’em.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Why’s dat?<\/p>\n

OLSON: Oh, cuz of dat “Cash for Clunkers” thing the Republicans foisted on us.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: \u00a0Sheesh. \u00a0That’s what Chunky, my mechanic – you remember Chunky?<\/p>\n

OLSON: Nooo.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: He’s the guy who was at that cookout I threw a couple a years ago, who told that joke about the two nuns and the camel?<\/p>\n

OLSON: (shakes head)<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Oh, I laughed. \u00a0Anyway – Chunky says that he can’t find used engines, because the Republicans made them pour acid into the engines after da government bought ’em. \u00a0If you wanna put a new engine in your winter beater, you gotta buy a new one.<\/p>\n

OLSON: Oh, ya. \u00a0Anyhoo, used cars are expensive as hell.<\/p>\n

(WAITRESS puts plates of pancakes and eggs on table).<\/p>\n

(Both men plow into their pancakes).<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: So what are you doing today?<\/p>\n

OLSON: Me and the crew got teardowns all week. \u00a0Just a buncha 1930s houses that got foreclosed, that the banks that own ’em wouldn’t bring up to code. \u00a0 So the city’s tearin’ em all out<\/a>!<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Oh, ya. \u00a0My brother in law, Harvey – you remember Harvey?<\/p>\n

OLSON: No.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Harvey Torstenson?<\/p>\n

OLSON: Nope.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: He’s about yay tall, has a blonde mustache?<\/p>\n

OLSON: Not ringin’ a bell.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Anyway, he’s a sheet-rocker, and when the city passed that law requiring old vacant homes to get brought up to code, he figured he was gonna make a mint, cuz they all gotta get brought up to code!<\/p>\n

OLSON: How’s he doin’?<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: \u00a0Nothin’. \u00a0He says it’s Bush’s fault.<\/p>\n

OLSON: So how’s your daughter and her husband doing finding a place to live?<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Oh, same s**t, different day. They can’t find a place to rent in Saint Paul that they can afford.<\/p>\n

OLSON: Still in your basement?<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Ya. \u00a0There’s just noplace to rent out there. \u00a0Or nothing they can afford, anyhow.<\/p>\n

OLSON: Huh. \u00a0Have they tried going to the city?<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: Good idea.<\/p>\n

OLSON: (Gathers stuff from seat) Well, time to get going. \u00a0Another day another dollar.<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: \u00a0Workin’ hard!<\/p>\n

OLSON: Or hardly working!<\/p>\n

PUCKETT: (Laughs)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(SCENE: BUD OLSON and TREVOR PUCKETT, two City of Saint Paul Public Works employees, are having breakfast at Mickey’s Diner on West Seventh Street). WAITRESS: Here’s your coffee. \u00a0Pancakes’ll be up in a minute. \u00a0(Walks away). PUCKETT: \u00a0So you get that car for your daughter yet? OLSON: No. \u00a0I’ve been trying to find her one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20048","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-st-paul"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20048"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20048\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20050,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20048\/revisions\/20050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}