(SCENE: \u00a0A DFL Legislative Caucus meeting over breakfast at the bar at the Kelly Inn. \u00a0 Paul THISSEN, Ryan WINKLER, John LESCH, Phyllis KAHN, Scott DIBBLE, Carly MELIN, Sandy PAPPAS, Alice HAUSMAN, and Linda BERGLIN are sitting at a large table.. \u00a0They are whispering amongst themselves as they wait for Tom BAKK)<\/p>\n
LESCH: (to MELIN): If a Birther doesn’t believe The President is American, what is a Winkler?”<\/p>\n
WINKLER: Hey, shut up<\/em>!<\/p>\n BAKK: (Enters with a flurry and a bustle, takes a seat at the head of the table): Hey, all.<\/p>\n THISSEN: Hey, Tom!<\/p>\n ALL (mumble their greetings)<\/p>\n BAKK: Sorry I was late.\u00a0 I got held up in the Central Corridor construction getting here.<\/p>\n HAUSMAN: But Tom?\u00a0 The construction is like four miles away.\u00a0 You just had to walk across the street.<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 I think my driver was running out the clock ’til his pension!<\/p>\n (ALL chuckle)<\/p>\n BAKK: OK, we gotta come up with some messaging. \u00a0But I need a cuppa coffee first. \u00a0(Turns to MELIN) Get me a cuppa coffee, wouldja?<\/p>\n THISSEN: One for me, too…<\/p>\n MELIN: Er, I’m not a waitress…<\/p>\n BAKK: I didn’t ask for an autobiography, toots. \u00a0Cream, five sugars, and hustle. \u00a0(MELIN, visibly upset, gets up and walks to bar). \u00a0 OK – so what’s on the table here?<\/p>\n PAPPAS: The Gay Marriage Ban amendment, for starters.<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0OK. \u00a0Big one. \u00a02\/3 of Minnesota will vote for it. \u00a0How do we spin this?<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 Yeah!\u00a0 Ideas, please!\u00a0 Ideas<\/em>!<\/p>\n WINKLER: Maybe introduce \u00a0a ban on all <\/em>marriage?<\/p>\n (BAKK looks at Winkler for a beat or two, as…)<\/p>\n LESCH: \u00a0How about “Vote against it, or John Lesch will uncork a can of whoopass on you?”<\/p>\n WINKLER: Ooh, bitchin’!<\/p>\n BAKK: No…no….<\/p>\n KAHN: How about “Goddess Will Strike You Dead”….<\/p>\n BERGLIN: Let’s just spin this as “Hate”.<\/p>\n BAKK: \u00a0Hm. \u00a0Hate. \u00a0The GOP is Hateful. \u00a0I like it!<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 Brilliant!\u00a0 Brilliant!<\/p>\n (MELIN \u00a0returns, puts coffee on table in front of BAKK and THISSEN).<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 OK – now, the budget.<\/p>\n DIBBLE: How about “The GOP are acting like a bunch of pansy Nazis?”<\/p>\n LESCH: Yeah!<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 Good!\u00a0 Goooood!<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 Hm.\u00a0 A little aggressive.<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 Good Goddess, what a dumb idea, Dibble…<\/p>\n (Silence for a few moment)<\/p>\n HAUSMAN:\u00a0 How about “The GOP exhibits their hate by not passing a budget”<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 Hmm.\u00a0 It’s got a zing to it.\u00a0 I like it.<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 I could kiss you, Alice!<\/p>\n HAUSMAN: (Facepalm)<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 OK, next item…<\/p>\n (Former Senator Ellen ANDERSON stops by table).<\/p>\n ANDERSON: Hi, guys!<\/p>\n (PAPPAS, LESCH, KAHN, DIBBLE, BERGLIN, HAUSMAN, MELIN and other greet the Senator).<\/p>\n THISSEN:\u00a0 Hey, Ellen!\u00a0 Great to see you!<\/p>\n BAKK: Ellen, we’re kinda busy here…<\/p>\n (THISSEN draws a can of pepper spray and discharges it at Anderson, who beats a hasty, coughing retreat).<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 What’s next?<\/p>\n BERGLIN: Jobs.<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 OK.<\/p>\n LESCH:\u00a0 How about “Why do\u00a0 Republicans hate jobs?”<\/p>\n BAKK: Bingo!<\/p>\n THISSEN\u00a0 (claps with excited glee).<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 Keep ’em coming!<\/p>\n DIBBLE:\u00a0 Union pensions?<\/p>\n BAKK: “Why does the GOP hate public employees!”<\/p>\n THISSEN: Yaaaay!\u00a0 Keep going!<\/p>\n KAHN: Publicly funded art!<\/p>\n BAKK: “Why does the GOP hate artists!”<\/p>\n (THISSEN hops up and down with glee)<\/p>\n WINKLER: The Vikings stadium!<\/p>\n BAKK: Why do the ReThugLiCons hate sports fans!”<\/p>\n (THISSEN does a spry cartwheel between the tables)<\/p>\n MELIN: Racino?<\/p>\n BAKK: Why do Republicans hate Indians!<\/p>\n (THISSEN loses consciousness in a paroxysm of unfettered glee, falls face-first into the omelet in front of Mary Lahammer, sitting at a neighboring table).<\/p>\n BERGLIN: Native Americans.<\/p>\n KAHN: Ahem. First Nations<\/em>.<\/p>\n BERGLIN and BAKK:\u00a0 Doh!<\/p>\n LESCH: The Ku Klux Klan!<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 Why does the GOP hate hate?<\/p>\n (Everyone stops).<\/p>\n BAKK:\u00a0 Wait.\u00a0 Back up.<\/p>\n PAPPAS: Sheesh.<\/p>\n BAKK: OK.\u00a0 Well, we got the basics down.\u00a0 Let’s get to work, people!<\/p>\n (ALL adjourn to drinking coffee and eating breakfast).<\/p>\n LESCH (Digs in briefcase, pulls out sheaf of paper).\u00a0 Hey, what the hell is this?<\/p>\n WINKLER: (Reads front page) Governor…Dayton’s…budget…proposal…?\u00a0 Huh?<\/p>\n BAKK: Never heard of it.\u00a0 (Handing coffee cup to MELIN) Hey, cupcake, put a head on this, huh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (SCENE: \u00a0A DFL Legislative Caucus meeting over breakfast at the bar at the Kelly Inn. \u00a0 Paul THISSEN, Ryan WINKLER, John LESCH, Phyllis KAHN, Scott DIBBLE, Carly MELIN, Sandy PAPPAS, Alice HAUSMAN, and Linda BERGLIN are sitting at a large table.. \u00a0They are whispering amongst themselves as they wait for Tom BAKK) LESCH: (to MELIN): […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,2,132],"tags":[213],"class_list":["post-19673","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-democrats","category-minnesota-politics","category-mn-legislature","tag-winkler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19673","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19673"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19673\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75387,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19673\/revisions\/75387"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19673"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19673"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19673"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}