Since there is talk that the federal government will shut down this weekend, it’s Shot In The Dark’s job, as the Twin Cities’ best source of news, to tell you what to expect.<\/p>\n
With Austan Goolsbee and the Council of Economic Advisors busy looking for work at McDonalds, President Obama will go on a deficit spending spree four times as huge and damaging as that of his predecessor.<\/p>\n
With the Department of the Treasury shut down, US currency will cease to have any value.\u00a0 All sales and purchases in the United States, from the transfer of Mortgage Backed Derivatives to buying Tic Tacs at the gas station, will be transacted by old-fashioned barter of goods or services. \u00a0Cigarettes will become the primary unit of currency…<\/p>\n
…except that without the Department of Health and Human Services to mandate the warning labels, there will be no cigarettes.<\/p>\n
With the Department of Education furloughed, all schools (public and private) in the US will be sold at sheriff sales and turned into union-staffed Community Centers.<\/p>\n
With the Department of Housing and Urban Development wandering the streets from bar to bar, public housing in the United States may become blighted and undesirable.<\/p>\n
With the Attorney General looking for work as a community organizer with ACORN, \u00a0brigades of government lawyers will be forced to seek honest work. \u00a0As prostitutes.<\/p>\n
With the Department of the Interior not functioning, national parks will become covered with grass and animals.<\/p>\n
Vice President Joe Biden will actually have to seek work in a coal mine.<\/p>\n
If you’re a veteran? \u00a0Without Veteran’s affairs, you won’t be anymore! \u00a0All that service to the country…gone!<\/p>\n
With Commerce closed for business, no business can take place. \u00a0But that won’t matter, because with the Department of Labor closed, nobody will do any work at all.<\/p>\n