{"id":18391,"date":"2011-02-25T12:00:55","date_gmt":"2011-02-25T18:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=18391"},"modified":"2011-02-25T12:29:26","modified_gmt":"2011-02-25T18:29:26","slug":"itinerary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=18391","title":{"rendered":"Itinerary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>February 2011<\/strong>: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tmz.com\/2011\/02\/24\/charlie-sheen-two-and-a-half-men-chuck-lorre-argument-radio-talk-show-tirade-turd-thomas-jefferson\/\">Shade <\/a>your boss and his company, thereby <a href=\"http:\/\/www.deadline.com\/2011\/02\/cbs-and-warner-bros-pull-the-plug-on-two-and-a-half-men-for-this-season\/\">euthanizing your cash cow<\/a>..<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 2011<\/strong>: 22 nightly appearances on TMZ.<\/p>\n<p><strong>May, July and October, 2011<\/strong>: Serial hospital stays.\u00a0 For &#8220;exhaustion&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><strong>December, 2011<\/strong>: Check into Hazelden, Betty Ford, Headwinds, Kumbaya or a similar celebrehab factory.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Later That December, 2011<\/strong>: Check yourself out of celebrehab.<\/p>\n<p><strong>January-July, 2012<\/strong>: [Fill in salacious-yet-pathetic headlines of benders, hookers and arrests]<\/p>\n<p><strong>August, 2012<\/strong>:\u00a0 <em>Lindsay Lohan <\/em>says she thinks\u00a0 you&#8217;re going to destroy yourself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>October 2012<\/strong>: Spectacular bankruptcy filing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>November 2012<\/strong>: Another stint in celebrehab.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Not Nearly As Much Later In November 2012 As It Was In December of &#8217;11<\/strong>: Check yourself out of celebrehab.<\/p>\n<p><strong>March 2012: <\/strong>Booked to appear on &#8220;Celebrity Apprentice&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><strong>April, 2012<\/strong>:\u00a0 Make headlines as you are fired from <em>Celebrity Apprentice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>June 2012<\/strong>: Ink deal to make a pr0n movie. With Omarosa.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A Week Later In June 2012<\/strong>: Fired from pr0n movie with Omarosa.<\/p>\n<p><strong>December 2012<\/strong>: High on paint fumes and crack, you crash a stolen moped into a bus full of Japanese tourists driven by John Cryer.\u00a0 TMZ dedicates a week of broadcasts to your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>February 2011: Shade your boss and his company, thereby euthanizing your cash cow.. April 2011: 22 nightly appearances on TMZ. May, July and October, 2011: Serial hospital stays.\u00a0 For &#8220;exhaustion&#8221;. December, 2011: Check into Hazelden, Betty Ford, Headwinds, Kumbaya or a similar celebrehab factory. Later That December, 2011: Check yourself out of celebrehab. January-July, 2012: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-n-e"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18391"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18392,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18391\/revisions\/18392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}