Ms. Marty<\/a>.\u00a0 Some of the stuff she’s teaching us…”<\/p>\nMITCH: “Like what?”<\/p>\n
BUN: “Well, for instance…[digs out paper from backpack]…in Literature this morning she taught us that Elizabeth Barrett Browning was the greatest poet of the British Romantic period….”<\/p>\n
MITCH: “Well, she was <\/em>rather prominent…”<\/p>\nBUN: “No, Dad – she said “Byron and Shelley were Browning’s beeyotches<\/em>“.\u00a0<\/p>\nMITCH (nonplussed): “Hmmmm…well…”<\/p>\n
ZAM: “And she told me that Lord of the Rings <\/em>was a story Tolkein stole from a collective of Bolivian coffee plantation serfs”<\/p>\nMITCH (Wrinkling brow): “Well, that’s just…”<\/p>\n
BUN: “And then in history, she told us that Thomas Jefferson cribbed the entire Declaration of Independence from a female slave’s knitted scarf, and that ‘womyn’ not only planned D-Day, but did all the fighting”.<\/p>\n
MITCH: “Er…”<\/p>\n
ZAM: “And then in phy ed, she told us that Billie Jean King was the real <\/em>quarterback of the ’72 Cowboys, and that Roger Staubach was just a fabulist patriarchal conspiracy”<\/p>\nMITCH (takes deep breath): “OK, kids.\u00a0 You know how I’ve explained to you that there are two types of feminists; real <\/em>feminists, who believe that the goal is to make sure that all opportunities <\/em>are open to women…”<\/p>\nBUN AND ZAM:\u00a0“Like you”<\/p>\n
MITCH: “Right.\u00a0 And then the other <\/em>kind, the kind that believes in making up some phony fantabulist history to give ‘womyn’ some kind of phony ‘self-esteem’ boost.<\/p>\nZAM: “So that makes Ms. Marty…”<\/p>\n
BUN: “The other <\/em>kind?”<\/p>\nMITCH: “Well, I think there’s always a chance for people to change.\u00a0 I mean, even I <\/em>was a liberal once…”<\/p>\nBUN AND ZAM: “Oh, jeez, here he goes again”.<\/p>\n
MITCH (Laughing): “I know, I know…”<\/p>\n
ZAM: “OK – then, in journalism class, she told us to write ‘reviews’ of the next season of Scrubs, <\/em>and a look back at the ’08 Presidential Election”.<\/p>\nMITCH: “But neither of those…has…er, happened yet…”<\/p>\n
ZAM: “She says it doesn’t matter!”<\/p>\n
BUN: “She also says “Minnesota Monitor” is rigorously independent”.<\/p>\n
(Pause).<\/p>\n
ALL: “Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaa!”<\/p>\n
MITCH: “OK.\u00a0 Let’s get ready for dinner…”<\/p>\n
(And…Scene!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
SCENE:\u00a0 Mitch’s kids Bun and Zam are coming home from a day at school. MITCH (props glasses up on bridge of nose as he reads newspaper at the kitchen table):\u00a0 “How was school?” BUN: “We learned a lot of stuff today…but…” MITCH (Looks up): “But…?” ZAM: “Well, it’s our teacher, Ms. Marty.\u00a0 Some of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1530\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}