{"id":1492,"date":"2007-10-23T06:46:56","date_gmt":"2007-10-23T11:46:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=1492"},"modified":"2009-05-30T09:46:01","modified_gmt":"2009-05-30T14:46:01","slug":"give-him-fewer-three-and-outs-or-give-him-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=1492","title":{"rendered":"Give Him Fewer Three-and-Outs, Or Give Him Death"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over at Nihilist In Golf Pants<\/a>, the Cynical Viking Fan has had enough:<\/p>\n

When in the Course of a football season it becomes necessary for one fan to dissolve the fanatical bands which have connected him with an NFL team, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to the separation.<\/p>\n

I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all teams are created equal, that they are endowed by the NFL with the same salary cap. That to enjoy Sunday afternoon, I turn on the TV and cheer my favorite of these NFL teams. That when my team sucketh so bad as to be destructive to these ends, it is the Right of the Fan to alter or abolish his allegiance to it, and to institute a new favorite among the NFL teams, so long as that team is not the Green Bay Packers. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world…I therefore, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of my intentions, do, in the name and by Authority of the good Fans of the NFL, solemnly publish and declare, That this Fan is, and of Right ought to be Free of and independent, that I am Absolved of all Allegiance to the Minnesota Vikings, and that all fandom connection between myself and the Vikings, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Free and independent fan of the NFL I have the full Power to root for any non-Packer NFL team of my choosing. \u2013 And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, I pledge my Life, Fortune, and sacred Honor. Cynical Vikings Guy<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fair-weather fans are smart fans.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over at Nihilist In Golf Pants, the Cynical Viking Fan has had enough: When in the Course of a football season it becomes necessary for one fan to dissolve the fanatical bands which have connected him with an NFL team, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that he should declare the causes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[77],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-rare-sports-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1492"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1492\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}