{"id":142,"date":"2006-11-28T08:04:07","date_gmt":"2006-11-28T14:04:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php\/2006\/11\/28\/pork-never-sleeps\/"},"modified":"2014-12-12T14:51:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-12T20:51:54","slug":"pork-never-sleeps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=142","title":{"rendered":"Pork Never Sleeps"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you don’t live in Saint Paul, you might not know or care about Porkys’, a University Avenue institution for about fifty years.\u00a0 The drive-up restaurant, with its greasy burgers and heavenly, American Heart Association-condemned onion rings, has been an anchor on the Uni cruising circuit since Eisenhower was in office.<\/p>\n

While RT Rybak apparently can do nothing about crime, and is intent on taxing Minneapolis business into Eden Prairie or Sioux Falls, he does <\/em>know his fast food<\/a>, according to Doug Grow:<\/p>\n

But there’s nothing normal about Porky’s, which has achieved icon status in St. Paul, or the debate the drive-through restaurant has stirred in northeast Minneapolis…To some, like Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, Porky’s conjures up romantic visions.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“As a kid, I rode my bike there,” he said, referring to a time when there were three Porky’s in the city.<\/p>\n

All three closed decades ago, victims of the “Big Mac-ing” of America.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rybak gets almost misty-eyed when he talks of the deeper meaning of Porky’s onion rings. They represent local ownership, a destination point, affordable family dining.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“If a piece of our history can’t be part of our future, the city has lost some of its soul,” the mayor is fond of saying.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And while I think Rybak’s romanticism is out of control – Minneapolis has lost vastly <\/em>bigger swathes of its history than Porky’s – I wish all the best to the restaurant’s expansion.<\/p>\n

And by “all the best”, I mean “good luck”.\u00a0 They’ll need it.<\/p>\n

Some clearly don’t share the mayor’s cosmic view of Porky’s. An organization — Neighbors Against Porky’s — believes it’s the wrong restaurant in the wrong place.”I like the onion rings, too,” said Doron Clark, a member of the group. But not in this place.<\/p>\n

Some neighbors say the drive-through restaurant, which will have limited indoor seating, would dump too much traffic into the neighborhoods just off Central Avenue. Porky’s will bring more crime, graffiti and litter, detractors also say.<\/p>\n

Finally, Porky’s foes have expressed concern that Porky’s will attract the classic car crowd that has attached itself to the Porky’s on University Avenue in St. Paul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As part of the zoning committee’s approval, Truelson must agree not to encourage the classic car crew to show up on Central if he wants to build in Minneapolis.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ah, yes. The dreaded “neighborhood activists” are sounding off.\u00a0 They’re the ones that have basically shut down the hot rod cruise on University and Snelling on Saturday nights, the ones that extincted the Midway’s biggest, coolest June event, the Minnesota Street Rod Association cruise nights during their annual weekend convention.\u00a0 Cars – the most amazing assortment of hot rods you’ve ever seen – would jam Snelling and University for miles, from Porky’s up Snelling to the Fairgrounds and down Uni to the Capitol…<\/p>\n

…until the “neighborhood activists” got it shut down.\u00a0 They couldn’t let other people be different from them <\/em>for one lousy night a year.<\/p>\n

These are, largely, the same people who are pressing for more mass transit, people who are “happy to pay for a better Minnesota”, people who vote for Metrocrat DFLers.<\/p>\n

In other words, they want to live in a big, cosmopolitan city – but they can’t seem to stand people doing <\/em>the legal, fun things people do <\/em>in big, cosmopolitan cities.\u00a0 These dolts want all the benefits of city life, and they want it to be as loud as an Iowa cornfield, 24\/7\/365, in the bargain.<\/p>\n

I’m about ready to declare war on this hamsters.\u00a0 They should…:<\/p>\n