{"id":1193,"date":"2007-08-14T05:56:25","date_gmt":"2007-08-14T10:56:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=1193"},"modified":"2007-08-14T12:20:16","modified_gmt":"2007-08-14T17:20:16","slug":"if-a-tree-fell-in-the-woods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=1193","title":{"rendered":"If A Tree Fell In The Woods…"},"content":{"rendered":"

…and no hyperdramatic conspiracy-mongering jagoffs<\/a> were there to hear it, would it exist?<\/p>\n

9\/11\/07<\/p>\n

GENERAL STRIKE<\/p>\n

THIS SEPTEMBER 11TH:\u00a0 NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, NO SHOPPING.<\/p>\n

HIT THE STREETS.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wow.\u00a0 Sounds like a big deal…<\/p>\n

…er, wait.\u00a0 Maybe not:<\/p>\n

\n

Get Cindy Sheehan, World Can\u2019t Wait and other anti-war voices on board\u2026<\/h3>\n

This strike is meant to be as broad as possible. We need people like this to get involved. Please use any means you can to approach these people, respectfully of course, and encourage them to get on board. How could Cindy Sheehan refuse a call for a General Strike against Torture, Lies, and Tyranny!?<\/strong> And remember, this is a broad-based, decentralized call, no one is in charge, no one issue takes precedence. This for all the people across this country who are fed up and ready to do something powerful in the name of decency, truth, and legitimate government.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I bet the meeting went something like this:<\/p>\n

MUFFY CARLETON-BURFLINGER: “Order!\u00a0 Order, everyone!\u00a0 Moonrabbit, will you please give the invocation?”<\/p>\n

MOONRABBIT WELLSTONE HARFANGER: “Our wellstone, who art in her<\/em>ven, hallowed be thy legacy.\u00a0 Thy agenda come, thy will be done, in Minneapolis as it is in Washington.\u00a0 Give us this day are daily latte, and forgive us our lack of zeal, as we tolerate those who don’t think the government was behind 9\/11 [muffled grunts of affirmation<\/em>]\u00a0.<\/em>\u00a0 And lead us not into the presence of Limbaugh, and deliver us from Bush, for thine is the non-patriarchal commune, and the collective power, and the inclusive glory, forever, a-women!”<\/p>\n

IAN MICAH BLOTNIK:\u00a0 “Attention, comrades!\u00a0 The General Strike website is launching Monday!”<\/p>\n

MC-B:\u00a0 “Excellent!\u00a0 And Cindy Sheehan’s on board?”<\/p>\n

IMB:\u00a0 “Er…Huh?”<\/p>\n

MC-B:\u00a0 “Sheehan.\u00a0 Cindy.\u00a0 Anti-war activist.\u00a0 You were supposed to get her on board with the General Strike before the site launched…”<\/p>\n

IMB: “Um, no, Muffy, I was so not.\u00a0 <\/em>I was working on the website, dee-duh-deee.\u00a0 It was someone else’s job”.<\/p>\n

MC-B:\u00a0 (Sighs wearily).\u00a0 “OK.\u00a0 Um…was it you?” <\/em>(points to…)<\/p>\n

HUNTER PETERSON-PETERSON-TORSTENGAARD-PETERSON:\u00a0 “Like, um, no!\u00a0 I had a victimization studies final I had to, totally, like, prep for”.\u00a0<\/p>\n

MC-B:\u00a0 “Who took the minutes from the last meeting?\u00a0 Joshua?”<\/p>\n

JOSHUA MICAH LENFESTEY-BENANAV:\u00a0 “Um, that’s Joshua-Micah, <\/em>hello?”<\/p>\n

MC-B:\u00a0 “Yeah, like, whatevs<\/em>, did you take the minutes?”<\/p>\n

JML-B:\u00a0 “Like minute-taking is totally fascist.\u00a0 I didn’t like do it”.\u00a0<\/p>\n

MC-B: (Signs, wearilier) “OK, like, totally, like, this sucks.\u00a0 What are we gonna do?<\/em>”<\/p>\n

HP-P-T-P:\u00a0 “We could totally blame Pawlenty for failing to fund organization classes for high school kids!”<\/p>\n

MC-B: “That, like, like, like, like, like, is a good idea”.<\/p>\n

JML-B: “But, like, didn’t we all go to pri<\/em>vate schools?”<\/p>\n

HP-P-T-P:\u00a0 “What’s the difference?”<\/p>\n

MC-B: “Oh, like, I’ll totally write something.\u00a0 Cyndi will come through for us!”<\/p>\n

ALL: “Cyndi!”<\/p>\n

(Meeting adjourns as website launches, drawing ten billion hits on the Daily Kos).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

To them, it’s a general strike.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To me, it’s a day with ten fewer oil-belching Subarus on the road.<\/p>\n

UPDATE:\u00a0 I got a ticket from the grammar police.\u00a0 But I won’t say where.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…and no hyperdramatic conspiracy-mongering jagoffs were there to hear it, would it exist? 9\/11\/07 GENERAL STRIKE THIS SEPTEMBER 11TH:\u00a0 NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, NO SHOPPING. HIT THE STREETS. Wow.\u00a0 Sounds like a big deal… …er, wait.\u00a0 Maybe not: Get Cindy Sheehan, World Can\u2019t Wait and other anti-war voices on board\u2026 This strike is meant to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1193"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}