{"id":11210,"date":"2010-06-03T12:01:40","date_gmt":"2010-06-03T17:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=11210"},"modified":"2010-06-03T10:29:40","modified_gmt":"2010-06-03T15:29:40","slug":"the-unfiskable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=11210","title":{"rendered":"The Unfiskable"},"content":{"rendered":"

I read this op-ed in the Strib <\/em>the other day<\/a>, by a Peter Mandel, and\u00a0thought “finally – we’re on to something here!”\u00a0<\/p>\n

I mean, it’s impossible to look at the sodden, overripe string of cliches in his lede…:<\/p>\n

It’s a Banana Republic like no other. Fly into its capital from abroad, and you’ll catch a whiff of overripeness, even decay. The baggage carousel clunks and squeaks. The road to your hotel is missing signs and is a maze of crevices and holes. Soon you are lost in a universe of strip malls; some are flourishing, others empty and dark. Although its elite are among the world’s most privileged, the gap between the Republic’s rich and others here is now a chasm.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

…and not think “he’s drawing us off-topic before he comes in for a big surprise at the end!\u00a0 Nobody <\/em>could keep this string of obviousness going all the way to the end!\u00a0 Nobody<\/em>!”<\/p>\n

“He’s going to end with a zinger noting the similarities between the Chicago government that spawned President Obama and his Administrati0n, with its patronage and corruption and family connections and machine politics, and places like Peru!”<\/p>\n

“He’s going to link Obama’s ruinous orgy of spending with the those of banana-republic comandantes <\/em>from Juan Peron to Hugo Chavez, with their suface sheen of social utopianism lightly slathered over a big rotten core of “buying off the peasants” until their nations collapse into debt and an endless parade of coups d’etat<\/em>!”<\/p>\n

“He’s going to juxtapose the stifling of dissent, first via an avalanche of coverage from\u00a0carefully-groomed propaganda organs <\/a>and then via outright censorship<\/a>!”<\/p>\n

“He’s gonna surprise us!\u00a0 Nobody <\/em>could be that ploddingly, thud-wittedly obvious to keep this going all the way through to the bitter, banal, boring end!”<\/p>\n

Almost weekly there is news of an attack. Not by foreigners, but by citizens bearing a grudge or with an urge for revenge.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Localized antigovernment groups stock up on armaments while practicing paramilitary moves. A growing movement shouts its hostility to a range of federal offices and laws.<\/p>\n

…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Those who know the Republic well are nervous. Especially those of us who live here — in its 50 states.<\/p>\n

We watch, we peel our bananas.<\/p>\n

And we wait.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

…<\/p>\n

…um…<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

…so…<\/p>\n

…weekly attacks?\u00a0 Huh?<\/p>\n

I feel like I’ve been spinning around too fast.\u00a0 The blood has left my head, and my vision is blurry.\u00a0 Did this fella…<\/p>\n

…Peter Mandel is an author of books for children, including “Bun, Onion, Burger,” due out this spring from Simon & Schuster. He lives in Providence, R.I.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

…right, “Peter Mandel” – did he just accuse the Tea Party of running a banana republic government and attacking people weekly?<\/p>\n

I need a banana now.\u00a0 For the potassium, I mean.\u00a0 It might help me regain my equilibrium.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I need it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I read this op-ed in the Strib the other day, by a Peter Mandel, and\u00a0thought “finally – we’re on to something here!”\u00a0 I mean, it’s impossible to look at the sodden, overripe string of cliches in his lede…: It’s a Banana Republic like no other. Fly into its capital from abroad, and you’ll catch a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11210","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11210"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11232,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11210\/revisions\/11232"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}