SCENE: MITCH Berg is walking away from the Capitol building. He runs into Avery LIBRELLE, who is dressed in a green AFSCME tshirt.
LIBRELLE: Well, that was a great session!
BERG: The DFL’s union benefactors made out like bandits.
LIBRELLE: We sure did!
BERG: And with a two-chamber majority, you spent months working on gun grabs that’ll never affect crime, a bullying bill that’ll stop no bullying, a gay marriage bill that is a huge priority for a small part of maybe 2% of the population, and what? Half a day on a budget?
LIBRELLE: You’re just mad because you lost.
BERG: No, I’m mad because you’re screwing up the state. Three more yearsof this and Minnesota will be a cold California.
LIBRELLE: Sweet!
BERG: And the big daddy of them all – the Daycare Union Jamdown.
LIBRELLE: What “jamdown?” All we’re asking for is a chance to vote to organize. It’s democracy! Don’t you conservatives like democracy?
BERG: Don’t get cute. This isn’t democracy – its democracy Mark Ritchie-style. The unions are packing the vote with unlicensed providers that the union knows will vote for them, many of whom haven’t worked in daycare or personal care in years. Look – providers could already join unions. Out of 11,000 licensed providers, less than 100 ever did. 86% of licensed providers oppose the union.
LIBRELLE: That’s a lot of numbers. My head is spinning.
BERG: Now – do you think the DFL, AFSCME and the SEIU wold have wasted a year or two of organizing, and five months of legislative arm-twisting, with several million a year in union dues and DFL money at stake, if they didn’t know they had enought ringers to jam the vote down? Anyone who answers “no” probably also thinks Minnesota has the country’s best election system.
LIBRELLE: But why shouldn’t daycare workers and PCAs have the right to organize for better pay and working conditions?
BERG: Organize against whom? To get better pay from whom?
LIBRELLE: Management! The bosses!
BERG: They’re their own bosses. They manage their own businesses! Many of them went into the field because they wanted to be their own boss, be their own management. And they get paid from their clients – parents and patients.
LIBRELLE: Wait. Back up. What’s this “their own boss” bit?
BERG: They’re independent businesspeople.
LIBRELLE: (stares blankly)
BERG: They run their own business.
LIBRELLE: (Stares; lips move, but no sound comes out)
BERG: They’re their own bosses. They work for themselves.
LIBRELLE: But…everyone has a boss.
BERG: They have clients. Parents. Patients. Te people who pay them.
LIBRELLE: But…no. Everyone has a boss!
BERG: Ummm…
LIBRELLE: EVERYONE HAS A BOSS!
BERG: Medic! I think I broke Avery…