Substance

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One of my biggest beeves with Donald Trump over the past four years has been the cult of personality around him – the wave of Scaramuccis and Loomers and other camp followers more partial to chanting points than issues.

But the Democrats tried to out-cult the cult.  Kamala Harris was a terrible candidate who ran a vapid campaign wrapped round brat vibes, Instagram moments and “Joy”. 

It was the Trump camp that ran on issues:

But this election, despite how the propaganda press tried to frame it, was not mostly about Donald Trump. The New York Times is at it again this morning, talking about Trump’s “cult of personality.” But Trump didn’t run on personality, he ran on the issues. He talked relentlessly and effectively about inflation, the border, and war and peace. True, he digressed more than some of us would have preferred, but his policy messages came through loud and clear.

It was the Democrats who tried to run on the cult of personality. The record of the Biden/Harris administration was indefensible, so they didn’t try to defend it. Harris avoided talking about the issues as much as possible, going so far, on multiple occasions, as to refuse to say what her position on an issue is. She was, as one pundit put it, the “no comment” candidate.

Instead of substance, the Democrats chose to run on personality and identity politics. Vote for Kamala because she is “kind” and “joyful”–never mind that she is such an obnoxious autocrat that she can’t keep a staff together. Also, vote for Kamala because she will be the first woman of color to be president. Whoopee. And most of all, of course, the Democrats tried to run against the personality of Donald Trump.

 

The fact that Trump is in a second term should mean – I hope – that he spikes the ball on those issues over the next four years.

Hugh Oughtta Know

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It was 20 years ago when Hugh Hewitt released “If It’s Not Close They Can’t Cheat”.

And he was finally right. 

As this is written, Wednesday morning, Donald Trump has 277 electoral votes nailed down.  Trump could actually get over 300 – as this is written, Michigan, Arizona, Alaska and Nevada and their 35 votes are still up in the air, but trending toward Trump.

The US Senate has flipped, and. might actually get to 56 GOP votes.  

The US House is still very much up in the air, and likely will be for a while, but the GOP has flipped several seats and, as far as I know, lost none.   If I had to bet, I’d say they hold the majority, and the trifecta.  

Speaking of trifectas – the DFL’s is at least hobbled.  As this is written the MN House is tied at 67-67, with a few recounts underway.  I’m not sure what happens with a tied House – Lisa Demuth and Melissa Hortman arm-wrestle for the gavel?  I’m going with Lisa. 

Some good news – Anoka rejected municipal trash.  That is something worth celebrating.

The Piglet is over.

I got home after 2AM.  Posting may be light today.

Reason 110

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Crystal K, charter MOB member, has a scathing review of life in Tim Walz’s Minnesota.

Read the whole thing .

There are too many pullquotes to run them all:

Our lives under Harris-Walz could be yours if we don’t vote to stop it.

The good news is that America has been in bad shape before and recovered. Minneapolis was dubbed “Murderapolis” in the 90s, but crime had come down significantly by the end of Republican Tim Pawlenty’s two terms as governor. The gas lines and exploding interest rates of the Carter years led to the Reagan recovery because people were sick of their plummeting standard of living and voted their way out of it.

We can do this. We too can vote our way out of this. We need to do it. My mom can’t work forever, and I will lose the home my husband and I worked so hard for if this doesn’t turn around. Our children, grandchilden and great-grandchildren deserve a future that’s much better than life is now. 

I hear there are about three persuadable people in the country right now. But since my family has lost three Republican men since the last presidential election, I’m hoping to persuade at least three people to vote Republican if they haven’t yet, or if they were planning to sit it out, please don’t. Hungry children and exhausted widows are depending on you. We could use some joy.

 

Fingers crossed.

109 Reasons I Voted Straight Ticket Republican

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Not that there’s a lot of doubt – the last Democrat I voted for was in 1996, and that was probably the only one since I voted for my mom in 1984.

But yeah, while Trump isn’t my favorite human on earth, and I wrote in Scott Walker in 2016 and held my nose voting for him in 2020, I’m voting for Trump and Republicans down the ticket for better reasons than usual this time.

  1. Because May Lor Xiong, GOP candidate for CD4, actually shows up in the district.
  2. Because violent crime, even after “dropping” since 2020, is still up by about a third over 2018.
  3. Because there are better ways to reform a police department than gut it.
  4. Because unlike earlier crime waves, this time the governments of Minneapolis and Saint Paul think the criminals have a point…
  5. …and that you’ve kinda got it coming.
  6. To spite everyone in “George Floyd Square”
  7. And “Anti”-Fa
  8. And the Minnespolis Go-Pro Bros.
  9. And all the “pissed off women” trying to turn their emotional instability into a political weapon.
  10. For families trying to make it as families in this messed up world .
  11. To stick it to Deniece Specht and Randi Weingarten.
  12. Because the DFL squandered $19 Billion in “surplus”, which they knew well was not really a surplus in the first place…
  13. …and raised taxes 40%
  14. Because Governor Piglet passively coddled the rioters in 2020. 
  15. Because Gwen and Hope Walz actively supported them. 
  16. Because Piglet excused the rioters depredations.
  17. Because Ilhan Omar would be tickled pink if Hamas had managed to exterminate all the Jews. 
  18. And to whiz on Betty McCollum. 
  19. To support the Somali who broke with the DFL last weekend.
  20. To show solidarity with the good Republicans of CD8, who over the past few years turned a solid Democrat district into solid Republican territory…
  21. …and with the folks in CD7, who won’t send another Democrat to DC for generations.
  22. And with the folks in CD1, who have been warning the rest of the nation about Governor Piglet with their votes since he left Congress (they voted for Johnson in 2018 and Jensen in 2022). 
  23. Because while I am a forthright non-fan of Donald Trump, he will do much less damage to this nation’s constitutional fabric than Giggles and Piglet.
  24. Because Tim Walz ran on “One Minnesota” – and promptly made it clear he was talking a about authoritarian, forced “unity”. 
  25. Because Tim Walz lied about the science during Covid, and then covered it up.
  26. Because Tim Walz had the worst record of any governor regarding long term care patients…
  27. …and nobody dared hold him accountable.
  28. Because Walz created a snitch line.
  29. And because the DFL enacted a thought-crime database.
  30. And the DFL passed a law that protects “attraction to minors” under the MN Human Rights Act. 
  31. And while if you are a noncustodial parent who brings your child to Minnesota for a private education, the state will beat you like you owe it money, they will use the State Patrol and the Attorney General’s office to protect your spouse with Munchausens by Proxy, provided they steal your kid to bring them to Minnesota for “gender affirming care” – aka chemical and surgical neutering.
  32. To end the “Trifecta”.
  33. To make Tim Walz a lame duck, and give his successor – Flanagan?  Hortman? – an uphill road to getting the office.
  34. To chastize the local media for letting Piglet skate for 20 years with no scrutiny whatsoever.
  35. In the hope of draining the swamp.
  36. To persuade all our vacuous, useless celebrities…
  37. …and overwrought influencers, to actually follow through on moving to Canada (even though, shhh, Canada doesn’t want them).
  38. To drop a Daisy-cutter in the Culture War.
  39. Because a Trump victory will put the entire Star Tribune, KARE11, MPR and WCCO newsrooms on Paxil for the next year.  And I’ve got a bunch of Glaxo stock.  #WinWin!
  40. Trump believes America is a land of opportunity, not a cesspool of inequity that targets the”outs”
  41. I’m voting for Trump because he hasn’t called me a deplorable.
  42. Or a bitter, gun-clinging Jeebus freak.
  43. Or garbage.
  44. Or a Fascist, or a Nazi.
  45. And he doesn’t represent people who think men are, as a gender, superflous…
  46. …or the enemy. 
  47. To show modern academia who’s boss.
  48. Because the Electoral College is a vital part of helping a nation full of people that don’t like each other much, actually function.
  49. Because the threat of the filibuster helps filter out a lot of bad ideas – it’s what stands between us and being a cold Greece.
  50. And because the Supreme Court needs to remain independent of Executive Branch control
  51. Because Trump is a meritocrat, who favors rewarding innovation and entrepreneurship…
  52. …and Democrats are the opposite of that, always. 
  53. I’m voting for Peanut the squirrel.  Because he can’t…
  54. …although if he lived in Chicago, Newark or Seven Corners, he probably could.
  55. A Harris win will give DEI a new tank of gas.
  56. To teach all of our “best and brightest” that they are responsible for their own “safe spaces”.
  57. Because Piglet passed a universal gun registration program…
  58. …and an “ex-spouse empowerment ” law…
  59. …and supported a bill that would have confiscated 2/3 of all firearms in MInnesota in a generation. 
  60. And Kamala Harris wants a forced buyback of AR15s…
  61. …while condescendingly cooing “nobody’s coming for your guns”.  There are few things I hate more. 
  62. For families – which Democrats are trying to subordinate to the state.
  63. To stick it to Erin Maye Quade. 
  64. While tariffs are a bad idea, Trump used them before to enforce good behavior among other nations. 
  65. Because “America First” under Trump means looking out for our interests (not our “social purity”) first. 
  66. Because I miss a foreign policy where dictators are afraid of us.
  67. Because the border should mean something.
  68. And so should citizenship.
  69. To start the process of pushing progressives back down the route of their “long walk through the institutions”.
  70. To throw a finger at the deep state.
  71. To hopefully compel all those celebs and influencers who wannt to “move to Canada if Trump wins” to do it.
  72. Because any step toward taking the Minnesota executive branch is a step closer to finding out the truth behind our electoral system.
  73. Because under Trump’s first term, the world was a safer place.  The world’s tyrants were legitimately worried about that bump in the night, and showed it.  There’s a reason Putin, Hamas and Xi held their water from 2017-2021. 
  74. And there’s a reason 2021 saw the collapse of Afghanistan, 2022 the invasion of Ukraine, and 2023 the invasion of Israel.
  75. And there’s a reason Israel and Ukraine are ramping up their efforts now; they’ve been worried about a possible win by Giggles and Piglet.
  76. To honor the solidiers of the 1/125 Field Artilllery, who went into the Sandbox without their Command Sergeant Major so Klink could run for Congress.
  77. I’m voting against Giggles and PIglet because they think the road to peace in the Middle East is for Israel to let Hamas re-arm and try again. 
  78. And because Trump got the Middle East to the brink of peace, and may just finish the job.
  79. I’m voting Trump for a free Iran. . God willing.
  80. I’m voting Trump so there’s at least a chance the five Americans being held hostage in Gaza right now to come, alive – or ever.
  81. Wages grew way faster than inflation under Trump’s first term.  No – way faster.
  82. Because Harris wants to replace Equality with Equity.
  83. Because Harris wants to spend hundreds of billions of dollars on doling out political patronage to people the Democrats want to vote for them.
  84. Because Harris is obsessed with Marxist-style class politics…
  85. …and government spending to rectify the non-problem. 
  86. Harris promotes a culture of supporting sustained weakness to enabling strength, economically, and in foreign policy terms.
  87. Because Harris thinks she and Biden put in a good day’s work with the collapse in Afghanistan. 
  88. For the 13 servicepeople killed at Bishops Gate….
  89. …and all the Afghans who died trying to get out, and since then (thanks to SmithStCroix).
  90. And all the Afghan women who got stuffed back into burquas afterward.
  91. Because Harris wants to systematize the view that all imbalances are the result of discrimination.
  92. Because the fact that the DNC thought Tim Walz would score votes among regular guys.
  93. To spite “White Dudes for Harris” – the worst piece of patronization I can recall ever. 
  94. And to mock “the Handmaid’s Tale” and everyone who refers to it. 
  95. Because, whatever you think about the slogan, Trump does believe America is great…
  96. …and will work on a policy level to keep it that way, and
  97. Harris and Walz don’t, and won’t.
  98. And that, right there, is all we should need to know. 
  99. Because I want to make Orwell fiction again.
  100. For my kids, who are trying to create a life in the big world…
  101. …and my oldest granddaughter, who spent way too much time locked down in a state of artificial panic…
  102. …and so her little sister never had to go through that again to benefit the DFL.
  103. For everyone immigrant business person burned out during the riots…
  104. …and every business smothered by Piglet’s idiot approach to Covid…
  105. …and every cancer patient who died while Piglet locked down clinics…
  106. …while opening bars and big box stores. 
  107. …and every senior – every grandma and great-grandpa – who died, alone, their families barred by the police from visiting them in their final days.
  108. And for my mother, whom I didn’t dare move to Minnesota after her husband died, leaving her in a memory care in North Dakota for six miserable month. 
  109. For that alone, I need no more reason.  Fuck Tim Walz, and anyone who puts him on a ticket. 

Symbolic

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Two stories emblematic of what tomorrow’s election means:

In New York City, a Marine veteran is on trial for murder for defending innocent bystanders against a man who was very blatantly threatening them:

The city has actively abjured enforcing public order; if you want to crap in public, mug or bully or terrrorize or attack people, close streets, run roughshod over the rights of others, the city could scarcely care less.

Misgender someone?  Exercise “bodily autonony” against Big Pharma? Own an unconventional pet?

Or try to protect innocent bystanders from the breakdown in order?

Suddenly they’re interested. Very, very interested.

There are many things at stake tomorrow. This is a big one.

Remember

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Remember, when you go to the polls, that this is what our “elites” think the immigration crisis is about:

The borders they will enforce are all cultural.

And if you’re reading this blog, there is likely no trip to Martha’s Vinyard in your future.

Not On My Bingo Card

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Gotta confess, I didn’t see this coming:

But knowing some of the people involved, and even some recent history, perhaps I should have expected at least some Somali to take umbrage at the sense of entitlement the DFL feels re their votes.

Of course, I’d have to wonder if this endorsement happened after the vast majority of the local Somali population voted early.

Still – if the 5th CD and Minneapolis GOPs can keep this dynamic going – and I have confidence that they can – this could make the municipal elections next year a lot more interesting.

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On In Hennepin County?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

After 265,000 absentee ballots have already been accepted, NOW they’re going to consider putting Republicans on the Absentee Ballot Board to decide which absentee ballots can be accepted in the future:
 
There is no election fraud.   There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair.  All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy.  
 
Joe Doakes

 

It’s all feeling a little Orwellian, isn’t it?

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On In Bucks County?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

Election officials in Trump-trending Bucks County, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philly, sent a police officer to turn away voters standing in line, waiting for early voting.  The line was closed at 1:45 pm instead of 5:00 pm as advertised.  A judge later reinstated early voting after Republicans sued.

There is no election fraud.   There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair.  All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy.  
 
Joe Doakes

Seems a little…irregular.

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On In Colorado?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

There are no standards for printing ballots.  Different counties use different print shops to print election ballots, but some ballots cannot be scanned.  Not all voters got the defective ballots and nobody knows whose votes were counted versus whose were rejected.  In counties where the red-blue split is close, rejecting red voters could swing the election.

There is no election fraud.   There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair.  All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy.  

Joe Doakes

The Constitution enumerates some powers to the states.   It’s both a strength and. weakness.  And unfortunately, the Federal and State governments are both run by government workers.

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On In VIrginia?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

Virginia Governor Youngkin issued an order in August directing the state to remove ineligible non-citizens from the list of eligible voters (dead people, non-residents, illegal aliens, fraudulent registrations).  Democrats sued to keep ineligible persons on the eligible voter list, the district court decided the state could not remove ineligible persons within the “quiet period” before the election, Republicans appealed to the Supreme Court which decided the “quiet period” does not protect ineligible persons since they’re ineligible to vote in the first place. 

If the Supreme Court had not acted, ballots from those ineligible persons could have been harvested and votes cast for Kamala, potentially tipping the election.  Remember the felon votes for Al Franken?  Same idea.
 
There is no election fraud.   There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair.  All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy.  
 
Joe Doakes

The crime, to the left, is noticing the crime.

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On In Mesa County?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

Around a dozen ballots in Mesa County were stolen from registered voters in the mail and submitted fraudulently.

State officials said Thursday they discovered the thefts this week through the signature verification process in Grand Junction, prompting an investigation by state and local officials.

 
This caught THIS dozen but how many others, in how many other counties, were not discovered?  Enough to swing the election?  How will we know? 
 
There is no election fraud.   There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair.  All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy. 
 
Joe Doakes

It’s enough to make you wonder. 

Doakes Sunday: What The Hell Is Going On…Everywhere?

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como Park, emails:

I have been pelting you with emails on a certain theme. Now Laughing Wolf takes up the refrain:

“I highly recommend going back and re-reading Larry Correia’s excellent takes on the 2020 elections, here and here. There are some other good ones out on that election, and 2022, but those do a very good job of establishing the patterns. Patterns we are already starting to see in Colorado (passwords, multiple other issues, trying to keep Trump off the ballot), Minnesota (multiple votes same voter ID number, etc.), Michigan (Chinese student voting), Pennsylvania (closing lines, voter intimidation, etc.), and, well, there are more.”

The evidence is clear that Democrats are blatantly trying to steal this election.

I don’t want to hear Republicans say, “There is no election fraud. There may be occasional errors but not enough to change the outcome. It is impossible to steal an election. The last election was the fairest one ever, except for this one, which is even more fair. All we need to do to win, is to show up and vote. Anybody who says otherwise is an election denier and a threat to Our Precious Democracy.”

Instead, I want to hear Republicans tell Democrats right now, “You are cheating and we won’t sit still for it. If you cheat to steal the election, we won’t quietly go along. We will burn it all down before we submit to a usurper. Stop cheating, play fair, or face civil war.”

Of course the media will lose their minds. Of course RINOs will be aghast.
Of course Democtats will point and rheeee.

So what? What’s Option B? Let them cheat to steal the election and what, lose gracefully? Claim that Trump was a bad candidate, too divisive, we need to run someone more moderate next time? And when Democrsts steal that election, and the next, and the next, then what?

Which one is the hill to die on?

Joe Doakes

 
 

Discuss.

I Heard It On The NARN

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Tad Jude is running for Congress in CD3 against the morbidly extreme Kelly Morrison. If you live in CD3, and you care about sanity in government, I ask you (as a private citizen) vote for him on Tuesday.

“Do No Harm” is working to reverse the ravages of identity politics in the (gulp) healthcare industry. Find out how to get invol ed here, and in particular check out the “Stop the Harm” database on the systematic neutering of children.

And here’s today’s music list;

Hey, Mankato!

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Here’s your state rep, Luke Frederick, comparing people of faith to slave holders for dissenting from the left on trans ideology:

Please shock the world on election day, and send this hamster back to whatever coffee shop he was working at before he latched onto the DFL gravy train.

Remembering What Pepperidge Farm Doesn’t

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Since we have an election coming up, let’s take a trip down memory lane.

Here’s Rep. Dave Pinto, progsplaining last session why DFL prosecutors won’t go after straw buyers – because the sentences are “too low”…

…before joining his entire caucus in voting down a bill that would have increased the sentence.

Pinto will get re-elected. He’s in a nauseatingly save DFL district.

But if you live somewhere in play?

Your mission is clear.

Never Forget

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The Vice President of the United States actively worked to bail out rioters, convicted rapists and scads of violent goons:

Not a single national Democrat or local DFLer denounced this erosion of our legal system. Some, including much of the metro and state “progressive” power elite, celebrated and participated in it.

This needs to be held against every last one of them in tomorrow’s elections.

The Cycle

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In response to Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) noting that two months ago the Administration (like the MNDFL) told us that non-citizens weren’t voting, or even registering, and now the DOJ is suing to keep the on the voter rolls, Elon Musk responded:

Now can I count the ways this is not only true, but happening?

  • Gun control
  • Transing kids
  • Third-trimester abortion with no restrictions
  • “Restorative Justice” as practiced in Blue cities

What am I missing?

Heavy Is The Crown

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Joe Doakes, formerly of Como. Park, emails:

Visited a different church this weekend, and heard a new song.  The musicians on stage played and sang.  The congregation was instructed to shout, “That’s My King” when appropriate.  Like all modern churches, they have giant tv screens hanging above the stage showing the words.  I’ll skip to the part of the song that I found interesting:

That’s my God
That’s my shepherd
My protector
That’s my king

That’s my rock
That’s my anchor
My defender
That’s my king

Most  Americans think of “king” as a picture on a playing card, not a part of the government.  We mistakenly believe Our Precious Democracy is the ultimate form of government.  I think that’s simplistic and dangerous. The Seventeenth Amendment, the effort to pack the Supreme Court, the demand to abolish the electoral college, these all move us away from checks-and-balances and toward absolute rule by whomever counts the ballots. 

One need only look to the French Revolution to see why pure mob rule is a terrible idea.  Elections aren’t everything – Hitler, Castro and Putin won their elections, too.  Ben Franklin quipped: “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.”  Robert Heinlein wrote:  “A king is the people’s only protection against tyranny . . . especially against the worst of all tyrants, themselves.”  

Throughout history before the Constitution, the most common form of government was kingship, partly because Might Makes Right, but also partly because Stability Brings Order.  The subjects owe allegiance to their king, sure, but as the song from church points out, kings have a responsibility to their subjects, to protect them from enemies foreign and domestic. When there’s a vacancy on the throne, there’s chaos in foreign relations and confusion in domestic politics.  That’s one reason some Founders wanted George Washington to agree to be king.  He was a natural leader and a gracious gentleman whom ordinary people could admire and respect.

Looking around at the chaos caused by the vacant Rose Garden Throne in America today, and considering the two contestants for the office, only one strikes me as the sort of leader who can inspire people to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get busy restoring this nation to greatness.  Only one of them is fit to be king.

Joe Doakes

 

Some historian – I forget who – described the British monarchy of myth, from its origins until probably the 1600s, as the old-world equivalent of Mafia factions duking it out for the position of Capo di Tutti Capi, only with no FBI to prevent slop-over to the wider society.  It took over 400 years, from the Magna Carta to the bitter end of the English Civil War, to turn the British monarchy into the most relatively small-l liberal significant monarchy (shaddap about Denmark) in the modern world. 

And the greatest glory of the American experiment was that we were able to not only short-circuit that 400 years of dynastic tree-pruning and blood-batheing, but do it via elections and an orderly process, and implement it in 15 short years and keep it running smoothly for almost 250. 

Who’s the best choice to try to keep that record going?

I can’t disagree with Joe at this point .

More tomorrow.

Never Forget

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Since Tim “Mind Your Own Business” Walz and his phalanx of lies are on the ticket next week, let’s make sure people remember this:

They warned us that if we voted GOP, fascism would erupt. And they were right.

Tim Walz, The Avatar Of Science

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Remember 2020?

No. 

Never forget 2020.

The Cathedral of Saint Paul seats 3000 people.

Governor Klink arbitrarily limited to 10 people. No singing.

The 617 bar in White Bear Lake seats 37 people

Bars were limited to 50. No matter how many they started with.

This is governance by “the party of science“. Never forget.

(Via former representative Matt Dean.)

Recalibration

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SCENE: In a conference room at the MN DFL headquarters. Chair Ken Martin is sitting along one side of the table with Gretel STROMBERG and Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, the executive director and chief social media meme-buffer at “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, the state’s primary non-profit political action committee that is no way, no how connected with the DFL, you racist pig. Across the table sits Chad MANBUNFRONDSON, upper midwest outreach director for the Harris/Walz campaign

MANBUNFRONDSON:  So for some reason the Harris/Walz campaign is having trouble among men, especially whyte men.

CARROLL: (Hisses theatrically)

STROMBERG:  Stupid wypipo

MARTIN:  Worst people in the universe.

CARROLL:  Unless they’re trans men.

STROMBERG:  Who are men.

MARTIN: But of course.

MANBUNFRONDSON: We’ve tried treating them like infants. How’d that work?

CARROLL: To my amazement, that did not poll well.

MANBUNFRONDSON: And we tried social media sizzle, creating an entire group for them.

STROMBERG: Polls show most men found it (reads notes) “so patronizing it felt like a Babylon Bee parody” at best, insulting at worst”.

MARTIN: Whaaaaaa?

MANBUNFRONDSON: And picking Tim Walz – the manliest man to ever weedwhip a lawn, didn’t do the trick?

MARTIN: Most of the guys on my staff agree.

CARROLL: Uhhhhh….

MANBUNFRONDSON: And telling them that Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff are the new models of masculinity?

STROMBERG: Kind of a bad news/bad news situation there.

MANBUNFRONDSON:  Huh?

MARTIN:  The bad news is, most men thought Walz is a (checks notes) “doughy, lying little weasel”, and Emhoff is a “philanderingt sh**stick”. 

STROMBERG:  And the other bad news is, the move backfired pretty spectacularly.

MANBUNFRONDSON:  Huh.  So nothing’s worked.

(The others shrug with exasperationˆ)

MANBUNFRONDSON: OK. It’s time to release the Kraken.

MARTIN: Yeah, that should do it.

STROMBERG:  (Chef’s kiss)

And SCENE

This Should Solve Giggles And Piglet’s Problem With Men

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In a campaign full of cringe-y ads, this may be the dumbest:

Treating husbands as the enemy seems like a bit of a tactical error.