Not Approved By Avery Librelle
But just take my money anyway.
But just take my money anyway.
…of a smug, entitled, East-Coast fop “analyzing” the blue-collar white people who put Donald Trump in office – the line “Shut up, you worthless sister-boinking Budweiser-drinking white trash” Avery explained” croxsed my mind – but in the end, I figured … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG, at the library checking out audiobooks, is too engrossed to notice Avery LIBRELLE has walked in. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Uggggghhhh…er, hey, Avery. What’s… LIBRELLE: Silence! Conservatives are violating the Constitutional separation of church and state! BERG: Right … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is having a coney at the Gopher. Lost in the flavor, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE walk in. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Oh, shhhhiiiiiure is a wonderful day for a Coney… LIBRELLE: Shut up. You’ve been slandering President … Continue reading
SCENE: It’s a planning session at Big Left (TM), the central planning organization for leftist, “woke”, “progressive” groups. Avery LIBRELLE, Cat SCAT, Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, Stephanie Marie ANNAN, Edmund DUCHEY, Evan Micah BRYAN, Inge “Lucky” CARROLL are gathered around a conference … Continue reading
Scene: MItch BERG is picking up a piece of litter and throwing it into a public trash can. He almost walks into Avery LIBRELLE BERG: Oh. fuuuuuuurcryingoutloud Avery… LIBRELLE: Merg! Shut up. I’m as giddy as a little menstruating person! … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is loading some garage junk into a truck. He doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE, whjo is walking up the alley writing down the addresses of homes without handicap parking spots. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Uh… LIBRELLE: Christian Nationalists can’t … Continue reading
SCENE. Mitch BERG is leaving a small cafe. Avery LIBRELLE is walking in. BERG is too tired to care and doesn’t try to evade or escape the encounter. LIBRELLE: Mer… BERG: Cut to the f***ing chase, Avery. LIBRELLE: In “One … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is cleaning out his garden boxes. Busy hauling stalks to the truck, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE, patrolling the alley, looking for over-filled recycling bins to report to the city. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Hey, Avery… LIBRELLE: Shut … Continue reading
SCENE: A coffee shop in Roseville, MInnesota. Avery LIBRELLE, Cat SCAT and Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK are drinking kombucha and checking their phones. Mitch BERG walks in. SCAT: Merg! BERG (not happy to run into the three of them) Oh, hey… BIRKENSTOCK: … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitcn BERG walks into Wendy’s for one of their Caesar Salads – a low-carb treat if there ever was one. BERG sees Avery LIBRELLE, standing at the counter, talking with an exasperated but polite looking COUNTER PERSON. BERG tiptoes … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is getting canning supplies at Fleet Farm, when Avery LIBRELLE walks round the corner. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Fuc…crying out loud, Avery, how are you? LIBRELLE: Shut up. We figured out how to get white ammosexuals like you … Continue reading
SCENE. Mitch BERG is in his muddy driveway, replacing a taillight on his truck. Avery LIBRELLE, happily inspecting the contents of peoples recycling bins for violations, sees him, and saunters over before BERG notices. LIBRELLE: :Merg! BERG: Uh…hey… LIBRELLE: I … Continue reading
SCENE: MItch BERG is waiting for some delicious brisket at his favorite BBQ joint. As he orders, he notes Avery LIBRELLE walking in the door. He ponders bolting out the kitchen, but it’s too late. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Uh, hey… … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG Is shopping for a new stove at the appliance store. Focusing on spec sheets, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE, who makes a beeline for BERG. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Oh, whyyyyyhi, there, Avery. What’s… LIBRELLE: Shut up. The … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is walking around Uptown Minneapolis trying to decide which pop-up brunch joint to go to. Absorbed in thought, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE has approached LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Oh,Go…olldarnit, Avery, how have you… LIBRELLE: Shut up. Why … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is out dropping literature for a candidate for the Minnesota state House of Representatives. As he walks toward a door, he encounters Avery LIBRELLE, carrying a shopping bag full of campaign literature. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Oh, Chriiiiistchurch … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG has found a cache of hard-to-find chili paste at a Vietnamese grocery store, and is putting a half dozen in his basket. Distracted, he doesn’t see Avery LIBRELLE rounding the corner, wearing an N95 mask. LIBRELLE: (Muffled … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG has just ordered at a food truck, and is waiting for his order to come up. Avery LIBRELLE steps around the corner. BERG visibly ponders abandoning his food and slipping away – but LIBRELLE sees him first. … Continue reading
Joe Doakes from Como park emails: I’m seeing hysteria on the Left. “Roe was overturned. Do you know what this means? It means gay marriage, contraception, inter-racial marriage, affirmative action – all of them are at risk!” Thus far, Conservatives … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is at REI, getting a handlebar cell phone carrier for hjs bike. He rounds the corner from the coffee cups, and runs into Avery LIBRELLE, who is shopping for…something? BERG tries to backpedal quietly away, but it’s … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is at the Mississippi Market co-op buying catnip. His head on a swivel to try to avoid progressive crazies, he’s trying so hard to be careful. But despite his best efforts, he walks around a corner and … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is picking up an Amazon parcel at the drop box at a Whole Foods on Selby Avenue. As he fiddles with getting the scanner to scan the bar code on his phone, Avery LIBRELLE walks up behind … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is standing in line at Kramarczuk’s Deli in Northeast Minneapolis, checking his email on his phone as he waits for an order. Distracted, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE walking in the door. LIBRELLE: Merg! BERG: Aaaaah, sssssschto … Continue reading
SCENE: Mitch BERG is at a coffee shop. He orders an egg souffle – the last one in the fridge. As the CASHIER is giving him the egg souffle, Avery LIBRELLE steps, unbeknownst to BERG, up into line behind. LIBRELLE: … Continue reading