(SCENE: Mitch BERG is at a kitchen store, recycling some Nespresso pods. Too late, he notices Avery Librelle.)
LIBRELLE: Merg!
BERG: Hey, Av…
LIBRELLE: Shut up. JD Vance’s real name is John David Bowman.
BERG: It was the name he was born with. He changed his name to his maternal grandparents name, “Vance”, when he was married.
LIBRELLE: Don’t care. Republicans are so diligent about never using new identities, so you should make sure you “deadname” him.
BERG: Go ahead. Give it a try.
(SENATOR VANCE walks past, looking for a wok).
BERG: Go for it.
LIBRELLE: (Mildly flustered). Senator Bowman!
VANCE: (Looks at LIBRELLE. Then BERG. BERG shrugs, rolls eyes. VANCE nods, walks on).
BERG: Nobody cares what someone wants us to call them. It’s being berated about it out of nowhere. Want to name yourself “Fido”, knock yourself out. Just don’t yap at me for not assuming you’re a dog, or threaten to destroy my career for not affirming that you’re really a dog. Seem reasonable?
LIBRELLE: No.
BERG: Because of course not. Hey (hands LIBRELLE the bag of used capsules) don’t let these spill, OK? For the good of the environment?
LIBRELLE: (reluctantly takes bag) Uh….
But BERG is already gone…
And SCENE.
My current favorite was some moron harping about Vance’s plan to be buried with his wife at with the rest of his family at their traditional cemetery. The rant went something about the Patriarchy ignoring the Brown Vances in San Diego. From my 60 seconds of research, I’m pretty sure those “San Diego Vances” are actually named Chilukuri. Ironically, J.D.’s wife grew up with a lot more “privilege” than her husband did.
On a semi-related issue, I heard one of our local pastors, and a guy we generally agree with on 2A, complained about J.D.’s “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality saying that’s easy for J.D. because he had 2 bootstraps while black men just get 1 boot strap. SMH.
Gary Hartpence had no comment.
Shoot, for other guys not carrying the name they were born with, or changing their last name, Bill Clinton was a Blythe, Barry Soetoro re-assumed his father’s name of Obama, you’ve got Dwight Eisenhauer/hower, Donald Drumpf, ….seems to me that variants of the last name are pretty well respected among Presidential/vice-Presidential aspirants.
I guess there are a couple of examples where the choice of a lst name turned really bad, like Adolf Schicklgruber, Vladimir Ulyanov, and Iosef Jugashvili using new names to attain political power, but ….some people seem to be too devoted to the pursuit of chicken manure, to put it mildly.
Maybe the Dems will ask to see Vance’s birth certificate?
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Smithstcroix, it is why I cannot and do not attend church anywhere due precisely to crap like this I would need to endure. Nope. I’ll pray on my own thank you.
Cosmic, Smith, pro tip; if you attend a church where they actually teach the Bible–one of the more evangelical/fundamental churches–you don’t get much “DEI” at all.