Fictional People On A Fictional Golf Course

SCENE: A golf course. THE REAL KILLERS – for whom OJ Simpson has been looking for a quarter century – are walking toward the first tee box when they are approached by THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’s ANGEL

THE REAL KILLERS: Hey – we need a foursome. Wanna join us?

THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’S ANGEL: Hey – aren’t you guys the…

THE REAL KILLERS: Yep, that’s us. Got a way scot-free for two murders. OJ is still out there, but he’ll never find us. Wanna tee up? And what’s your story again?

THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’S ANGEL: Oh, I’m a white supremacist member of an outlaw bike club. Twin Cities and National media spread the word that I started the riots. Then I disappeared from the news forever.

THE REAL KILLERS: Wow. You kinda came and went in a hurry.

THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’S ANGEL: I know, right? Hey – you mind if my friends (mostions toward THE ROVING PACKS OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS WHO SUPPOSEDLY DID THE LOOTING) play through real quick? They’re riding a unicorn, so they should be pretty fast.


THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’S ANGEL: Who is that playing up ahead of us?

THE REAL KILLERS: That’d be Jussie Smollet’s MAGA-hat-wearing attackers.

THE WHITE SUPREMACIST HELL’S ANGEL: Ahh. Hey, nice driver you got there…


14 thoughts on “Fictional People On A Fictional Golf Course

  1. Meanwhile, the White Supremacist Hell’s Angel is back from Sturgis, now spreading Pestilence, to go along with War, Famine and Death (due to coronavirus, they’ve had to cut down on staff). Man, you’ve really got to check those saddlebags.

  2. Meanwhile, the Abercrombie & Fitch model white supremacist dudes with the tiki torches are playing canasta in the clubhouse.

  3. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 08.24.20 : The Other McCain

  4. Only white people have moral agency. The Minneapolis PD, Black leadership, and the AP agree!
    Imagine the scene. There is unrest. The law has vanished. The crowd is seething with rage, but they do not know what to do! It is literally beyond their imaginations! Go home and bake angry cookies? reenact a Michael Jackson video? They just don’t know how to express their rage!
    Then a Hells Angel spray paints the word “riot” on a store window, and it suddenly occurs to the mob: “We could break and burn things!”
    The AP “journalists” who wrote this story are so bad at their jobs they never ask why the cops won’t release a name & description of the guy whose personal history & age the cops say that they know.
    It’s probably because they think it might be a hoax and they want to cover their asses. Or maybe not, it never occurs to the AP to even ask the most obvious of all possible questions.
    Worst elites ever.

  5. You can find the name and pictures of the individual claimed to be Umbrella Man and member of both HA and AC motorcycle clubs (dual membership?). I think the pictures of the biker looks bulkier than umbrella man, but they say black is slimming.

  6. Well, if the Umbrella Man claims dual membership, he is not long for this world. Also positive proof he is a few frys short of a happy meal to claim that. I am sure swiftee can confirm my diagnosis.

  7. As a white man, you, too, have the power to destroy entire cities just by breaking a few windows.

  8. jpa, kind of my thought too. As little as I know, I did not think that the HA would allow dual loyalties. And not enough room on the vest for two sets of patches.

  9. As a white man, you, too, have the power to destroy entire cities just by breaking a few windows.

    Of course – that’s the super-power of White Supremacy!

  10. So Hells Angels wear Hawaiian shirts, now?

    They traded in their Harleys for Yamaha golf carts, and their hideouts are now located in various Leisure World communities across the country. But they still wear a black leather vest over their Hawaiian shirts.

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